Why am I Posting to this Forum?

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Ed Walsh

Puritan Board Senior
Greetings Friends,

Typically, you would expect this to be in the Prayer Forum. But I have been known to be unconventional at times. :)

I'm really sick, but there is a particularly difficult Spiritual fight going on that is scarier than the illness. It is something new to me, as I have been riding pretty high for the past eight years. So I could use some prayer and encouraging words in this area as I see it as more important than living or dying.

About the illness. Below is what I wrote to my elder and several PB members waiting to discuss some serious matters. But I find myself good for nothing these days.

~~~~~~~

Just an update, so you won't think I have forgotten you. You are often on my mind.

I have gotten sicker. Perhaps the sickest I have been in my life. I go to the Dr. on Tuesday and get blood work too. They're going to see if something else is wrong in addition to the virus. It's been seven weeks, and I am worse than ever.

Without exaggerating, I would not like to keep living if I stayed like this. But the Lord is my Shepard.

Take care,

Ed
 
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Hi Ed, I hope these verses will encourage you. I am sorry to hear of your affliction.

Psalm 77:1-15

1 I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice; and he gave ear unto me.
2 In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not: my soul refused to be comforted.
3 I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed. Selah.
4 Thou holdest mine eyes waking: I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
5 I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times.
6 I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search.
7 Will the Lord cast off for ever? and will he be favourable no more?
8 Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore?
9 Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies? Selah.
10 And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High.
11 I will remember the works of the Lord: surely I will remember thy wonders of old.
12 I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.
13 Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God?
14 Thou art the God that doest wonders: thou hast declared thy strength among the people.
15 Thou hast with thine arm redeemed thy people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah.
 
Praying for you. May the Lord draw close to you and bring you comfort and heal you from your infirmity.
 
Thank you all so much for your prayers and kind words. Psalm 77, one of my favorites, was particularly law helpful. Thanks, @De Jager

One of my favorite verses in the whole Bible is at the end of Psalm 77.

He is a God who hides Himself.

vs. 19
Thy way is in the sea, and thy path in the great waters, And thy footsteps are not known.
 
Dear brother, I have just prayed for you. I am just now coming out of a severe illness that made me despair of life and desire to die for over TWO YEARS. Now there is hope. I was sick since mid--2018 but during that time my emotions got sick as well. Every day was dark with no hope of ever improving. But today I swam with my kids and each day I teach my 6-year old boy a new wrestling move next to the pool and if he gets it right he gets to throw me into the water, something that caused black-out quality pain just months ago. I will keep praying. Do not lose hope. If I were in the USA right now, I would come visit you and cheer you up with my storehouse of memes and lame jokes.
 
When we find ourselves as being good for nothing, we are reminded that is one of the tricks of the evil one. A pastor that has helped me through these kinds of lies instructed us to ask ourselves 'where is this coming from?' As there is no condemnation in Christ, we know the source is evil.

When I am sick, I can be at my weakest. Currently I have the virus since before Christmas. But I have had such severe pain in the past that I was like others have said: I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. It is an awful place to be on every realm.

Praying for you.
 
I've been in bed all day, so I'm just getting to read messages. Thank you all for your prayer and good words.

Love you all,

Ed
 
May you experience the presence and peace and power of the God of all comfort, Ed, and a full recovery too so that you, like Paul, may be able comfort those in any affliction with the comfort with which you are comforted by God.
 
Praying for you brother. May the Lord be with you in this trial.

"...but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
Romans 5:3‭b-‬5

Sent from my SM-A326U using Tapatalk
 
Greetings all,

This is really weird to share because it was such a personal and private thing that happened early this morning. It may sound dramatic and overly emotionally charged, but I assure you that in my rational mind, I believe what happened to me this morning was the truth. I'll keep it short because I doubt many will understand what I'm saying anyway.

For 2 hours early this morning, I sought the Lord through the Scriptures hoping for some help in my predicament. But what happened was a life-altering experience that I will never forget.

Six chapters in 2nd Kings lead to the final destruction of the northern tribe of Israel. Well, that was encouraging.

Next, I went through the first four chapters of the Song of Solomon. That was so devastating that I had to stop at chapter 4. The Song represents the highest point in my relationship with Christ in the allegorical sense and the relationship with my wife, which has been wonderful beyond words.

Then my devotional schedule steered me to Psalm 127 and 128. Again devastating.

All of this funneled down to a single verse in the Bible that I believe described what I was experiencing at that moment. I've lived a long time and had many experiences, but this was unusual and different and overwhelmingly true for me. It was much more than just the emotion of the moment.

Here's the verse—the very center of the Bible for me.

Matthew 26:37‭-‬38 KJV​
And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy. Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me.​

I do now, and will for the rest of my life, consider this the lowest point in my life. I felt so overwhelmed that I thought I might literally die on the spot. But the Lord spared me, and everything is up from here. How could it be otherwise?

A short time ago this evening, I was helped greatly by a Psalm that has been a theme of my life. I sang it from the 1650 psalter.

1 Lord, from the depths to thee I cried.
2 My voice, Lord, do thou hear:
Unto my supplication's voice
give an attentive ear.

3 Lord, who shall stand, if thou, O Lord,
should'st mark iniquity?
4 But yet with thee forgiveness is,
that feared thou mayest be.

5 I wait for God, my soul doth wait,
my hope is in his word.
6 More than they that for morning watch,
my soul waits for the Lord;

I say, more than they that do watch
the morning light to see.
7 Let Israel hope in the Lord,
for with him mercies be;

And plenteous redemption
is ever found with him.
8 And from all his iniquities
he Isr'el shall redeem.​
I'm going to be okay.

Thanks again for all your prayers and kind words.

Ed
 
Greetings friends,

Good morning. I didn't want to leave anyone hanging after my sad report yesterday morning. This morning was as different from yesterday morning as it could be. God has answered your prayers. This morning as I meditated verse by verse on Psalm 51, I saw it in a new way--in a most personal and profound way, that the Lord has forgiven all of my trespasses and taken all my suffering upon Himself and made me clean in His eyes.

I'm still just as sick, but my spirit has soared to new heights of joy and praise to the One who loves me so. There's much more I could say and many more Scriptures involved, but I wanted you all who have prayed for me to rest in the knowledge that God has heard you and had mercy upon me. I got to be 70 years old before I ever had a crisis like this, but...

Psalm 119:67‭,71‭,75 KJV​
Before I was afflicted, I went astray: But now have I kept thy word.
It is good for me that I have been afflicted; That I might learn thy statutes.
I know, O LORD, that thy judgments are right, And that thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me.
So go to church today and Praise the good God who does all things well, knowing that I am in the best of hands.

Thank you all very much.

But I really hope nothing like this ever happens to me again. :)
 
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@Ed Walsh

You might benefit from Bryan Chapell's sermon this morning. It starts about the 48 minute point of the Youtube broadcast.

 
Glad you are doing better, Ed.

One thing I've learned, through bitter experience, is to not put TOO much weight on any momentary feeling, esp while ill or tired.
Wait and bide your time, trusting in our good Lord to see you through.
In other words,: don't take yourself too seriously when you are low (nor high, for that matter!).

My hubby and I are coming off illness now, and I can so relate to the feelings of doom and dark and blah after having spent a week in my sick-bed. For a time, it 'felt' as if there was nothing but sickness. Even in that, our Lord holds us in his hands, and brings us, minute by minute, closer to home. Whether we acknowledge it or no.
 
Hi all,

Just an update. I am just as sick or maybe sicker. My doctor wanted me to wait a week or two more before I get blood work. I will get it tomorrow or Wednesday. I wish I could tell you I am going fine Spiritually, but even the Psalms have not helped much. I have never asked why, and I know that this will work out for my good.

Thank you all,

Proverbs 18:14​
The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; But a wounded spirit who can bear?
 
I will pray for you Ed, in whatever you are going through, be encouraged in the Lord. Grace and peace be multiplied to you.
 
will pray for you Ed, in whatever you are going through, be encouraged in the Lord. Grace and peace be multiplied to you.

I am very sick, but I trust in the Lord that this too is somehow in His providence good for me. Either a discipline that I am sure I deserve or a trial to see where my allegiance lies. Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. He is good, and His mercies endure forever.

Thanks,

Ed
 
I am very sick, but I trust in the Lord that this too is somehow in His providence good for me. Either a discipline that I am sure I deserve or a trial to see where my allegiance lies. Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. He is good, and His mercies endure forever.

Thanks,

Ed
I shall not darken knowledge without wisdom and unlike Job’s friends dare to comment on whether this be discipline or a trial. But like Job I shall lay my hand upon my mouth and rather pray to the Lord
who is indeed able and willing to strengthen you through it all. I do pray for deliverance but also grace moment by moment to aid you through this season.

Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.
He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.

- Micah 7:18-19
 
You might benefit from Bryan Chapell's sermon this morning. It starts about the 48 minute point of the Youtube broadcast.

Finally listened to the sermon. I listened to it half of it early this AM and then the whole sermon with my wife a little later.
Very very good indeed. Thanks, Edward, for sharing it. Simple but profound and encouraging.

Thanks,

Ed
 
Very very good indeed. Thanks, Edward, for sharing it. Simple but profound and encouraging.
The last post to this thread was by me on February 8th. I continued to suffer. I do not use the word 'suffer' lightly. For the past five days, I've seen improvement, and I am getting better. I am almost sure I am. I told my son yesterday when I picked them up at the bus stop, "If I was 100% well yesterday, and I felt like I do today, I would tell you I'm getting sick." But compared to the last three months, I am far better. Thank you all for your prayers. I just wanted to update you, so you know that I'm recovering. I can laugh again, smile and work again. It isn't easy, but I am getting better.

I was encouraged a few days ago when I realized that I never once questioned God as to why. I never uttered a single complaint. I didn't even beg him to heal me. However, that is a Biblical thing to do. I figured He had His reasons to bring me to these straits. All glory to Him. It is good that I have been afflicted.
Tank you all again.

I love you,

Ed Walsh
 
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For the past five days, I've seen improvement, and I am getting better. I am almost sure I am. I told my son yesterday when I picked them up at the bus stop, "If I was 100% well yesterday, and I felt like I do today, I would tell you I'm getting sick." But compared to the last three months, I am far better. Thank you all for your prayers. I just wanted to update you, so you know that I'm recovering. I can laugh again, smile and work again. It isn't easy, but I am getting better.

OK, here's a final update. I am now sure I am getting better. I was able to go to church this morning for the first time in months. On the 14 mile drive to our meeting place, I suddenly felt so tired and sick that I nearly decided to turn around and wait another week. But since the distance between home and worship was about equal, I decided worship would be better for me than a bed.

What a wonderful welcome was waiting for me. At least a dozen smiling faces of all ages greeted me, hugged me, and told me how much they missed me. Another three or four saints I didn't think knew I was even gone warmly greeted me.

After the service, Renee, the wife of a sweet couple I know, said, "Ed. I never noticed you were here today, but then I thought I faintly heard the little sounds you make when interacting with a good message during the sermon. I wasn't sure it was you until I saw you following the benediction. So glad to see you after so long." Delighted but a little embarrassed, I said, "Am I really that obvious?" Renee smiled and said, "Yes, you are." We both laughed.

With both a great sermon and the outpouring of love, I left the church high as a kite.

Thank you all again for your prayers and thoughts of little old me.

Ed

Proverbs 18:24​
A man that hath friends must show himself friendly:​
And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.​
 
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