But you were, and people do, whether consciencely or subconsciencly. Supressing the truth, is perhaps the most common sin to all mankind, that is, not acknowledging or giving God the glory He deserves. "...the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so." (Romans 8:7) The nature of sinful nature is to supress the truth...in unrighteouness. "...whatever is not from faith is sin." (Romans 14:23) In other words, your primary justification for being a non-believer had more to do with pragmatism than the actual truth of the matter.. Praise God for giving you the desire to read the Word and opening your eyes to the truth of His Word.