You Might Be A Dispensationalist If . . .

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I would be surprised if Greenville Presbyterian Theological Seminary and Mid-America Reformed Seminary (MARS) had any egals, although women do attend GPTS (don't know about MARS) and can earn an MA. The fact that GPTS only began in the late 80's and MARS in the 90's (I think) probably has a whole lot to do with it. These institutions seem to broaden as time goes on although some do it very quickly and others over the course of many decades. WSCAL probably doesn't have any either. Does Southern Seminary have anyone now promoting the egalitarian view? I would be surprised since that is such an emphasis for Moore, Mohler, etc. Some if not all of the other SBC seminaries are probably fairly strong on this now too since the "takeover" was in part a reaction against these kinds of influences.

I know of preachers who send their young men to SBTS, because it's both Calvinistic and complementarian. If that what you were talking about, that is.
 
I found these:

26. If you’ve ever had more than three candidates for the AntiChrist at one time…
27. If you think Saddam Hussein’s name means 666 in more than three languages…
28. If you took Hal Lindsey’s advice twenty years ago not to make any long term plans and are now broke, uneducated and in a dead-end job…
29. If bar-codes make you nervous…
30. If you’ve only been a Christian for one year and your Pastor has preached through the book of Revelation more than two times…
31. If you make sure there’s at least one non-Christian pilot on every flight you take…
32. If your church has adopted the 60’s song “Up, Up and Away” as a hymn…
33. If you think the Ryrie Study Bible notes are part of the original autographs…
34. If you’ve already forgotten the last wrongly predicted date of the rapture…
35. If you already know the next predicted date for the rapture…
36. If you’re still suspicious about Gorbachev’s birthMARK…
37. If you believe that Grant Jeffrey, Tommy Ice, Dave Hunt or Hal Lindsey is a theologian…
38. If you know the location of the European Central Bank…
39. If you’ve ruined more than five records trying to find backward messages…
40. If you count trampoline aerobics as “Rapture Practice” in your morning devotions…
41. If you think Texe Marrs’ books belong in the theology section of your local Christian bookstore…
42. If you never stand on your head out of the fear that the rapture will send you the wrong direction…
43. If your baby’s stroller has a break-away sun bonnet…
44. If you always chew gum so your ears won’t pop at the rapture…
45. If you can name more dispensations than commandments…
46. If Clarence Larkin is your favorite artist…
47. If you know who Clarence Larkin is…
48. If your children’s favorite game is Pre-Trib-Hide-and-Seek, “Now you see me, now you don’t”…
49. If you think the four millennial positions are: Pre-Trib, Mid-Trib, Post-Trib and Liberal…
50. If your favorite party game is “Pin the tail on the Beast”…
51. If your favorite CrackerJacks prize is a temporary tattoo of the Mark of the Beast…
52. If you think John Walvoord, CI Scofield and J N Darby are some of the Church Fathers…
53. If your favorite one-volume commentary on the Bible is on “The Bible Code”… (Jon B.)
54. If your favorite multi-volume commentary on this morning’s newspaper is the Bible…(Jane D.)
 
You Might Be a Dispensationalist If . . .
1. you named your first child “Cyrus Ingersoll,” even though it was a girl.
2. when you pray, you turn and face towards Dallas.
3. you’re surprised and embarrassed by Jack Deere.
4. you need charts to teach the Book of Psalms.
5. you think Jesus used PowerPoint for the Sermon on the Mount.
6. you’re familiar with Chafer, but not Schaeffer.
7. when you’re driving home at night and see a bright light in the sky, you unfasten your seat belt and “get ready.”
8. you find prophetic significance in Eliot Spitzer's arrest.
9. you know who John Nelson Darby is and have his synopsis of the Bible.
10. your favorite definition of “economy” comes from Charles Ryrie.
11. when asked for a commentary on the Revelation, you turn to your complete collection of Left Behind books.
12. your prayer group is concerned that Dallas has "gone liberal."
13. when asked a question about Pentecost, your first impulse is to answer Dwight.

two an threteen :lol:
 
Or took it off from having it your home page for years, because some are going progressive Dispensational (aka liberal).

:confused:
Progressive? I never thought I would here about dispensationalists going liberal. As a former Dispensational, that was the worst thing a person could become (other than a Calvinist :lol:).

Who is behind this leftward move in the dispensational camp? This leads me to ask just how many dispensationalists are fundamentalists (as I was)?

Progressive dispensationalists are very respectable theologians who can easily give amils a run for their money. They are continually throwing out challenges that are going unanswered. It was partly PD that moved me towards historic premil.

Likewise. Although, I'm still researching the different eschatological packages to see which one is right for me! :book2:
 
55. You insisted the credit card company issue you a new card with a new number because yours had "666" in it.
 
25. You keep looking for that flawless red heifer so the Temple can be rebuilt.

I never could figure this one out. I used to raise a lot of flawless Red Angus calves, half of them were heifers. Nobody ever seemed to think it was a big deal. I could have made a fortune!

They looked like this:

calf-tagged.jpg
 
56. You voted for John Hagee to be head of the Jesuits!

and the all time favorite:

57. You had a "WARNING - in case of rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned" bumper sticker on your car!

(I'm surprised nobody mentioned this yet... but,,, i still want one. so I can be culturally relevant of course. :p )
 
28. If you took Hal Lindsey’s advice twenty years ago not to make any long term plans and are now broke, uneducated and in a dead-end job…

Dan, now THAT is funny! I can remember the time before Hal Lindsay was Hal Lindsay, when he was just a college worker at UCLA for Campus Crusade. His "magnum opus" came out in 1970 at the end of my high school experience. I always took it as ironic that Hal became "comfortable" through long-term investments off his book sales while anyone who took him literally ended up broke.
 
I didn't read all of the posts so some of these might be repeats...

If you like to chew gum so your ears won't pop at the Rapture.

If you always leave the top down on your convertible - just in case.

If bar code scanners make you nervous.

If you have been a Christian for less than one year and your pastor has already preached through the Book of Revelation twelve times.

If your church has adapted into a Christian hymn the 1960s pop song"Up, Up and Away."

If you think General Revelation is the commander in chief of the armies of Armageddon.

If you can name more dispensations than commandments.

If you've already forgotten the last wrongly predicted date for the rapture.

If you believe that there is an original Greek and Hebrew text of Scofield's notes.

If you believe that the term "Early Church Fathers" refers to C. I. Scofield and Lewis Sperry Chafer.
 
58. you have narrowed the candidates for Antichrist down to either John Gerstner or Don Kistler. (After reading "Wrongly Dividing the Word of Truth").
59. you read Hodge's theology to find out why Zane Hodges disagrees with the Reformers.
60. you have all of Bullinger's books on your shelves, E.W. Bullinger that is.
61. you don't have an American flag in your office but do have a poster on the wall with an Israeli jet and the words: "America, don't worry. Israel is behind you."
62. you ask the Christian bookstore manager if it is still a Holy Bible even if it doesn't have the Ryrie notes.
 
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