You Might Be a Presbyterian If . .

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Arch2k

Puritan Board Graduate
1. You've got a big bushy beard in honor of R. L. Dabney.

2. You can spell supralapsrian , suprlapsarian, suralapsrian, supralapsarian.

3. When asked to name the twelve apostles you say Matthew, John, James, Andrew, Peter, Nathaniel, Phillip, Simon, Thomas, Augustine, Luther and Calvin.

4. You used to be a Baptist.

5. You started drinking ("in moderation" of course) after you left the Baptist church and became a Presbyterian.

6. Your children's names all begin with "covenant." In other words, normal people have babies, boys, girls, kids, and/or children. Presbyterians, on the other hand have "covenant" children. Instead of introducing your kids as Billy, Bobby and Suzy, it would be more proper to introduce them as Covenant-Bill, Covenant-Bob, and Covenant-Sue.

7. When the spirit comes upon you in power, you don't raise your hands and shout Hallelujuah, rather you scratch your chin, turn to your neighbor and whisper "hmmm, . . . that was a good point."

8. You think fencing has something to do with the Lord's Supper instead of swords.

9. You've considered church discipline for people who watch the NFL on Sunday afternoon.

10. When someone asks you a question about the Bible, you answer, "Well, the confession says . . . " or "the catechism says . . . "

11. Charles Spurgeon is just a little too Arminian for your blood.

12. They aren't "catholics," or even "Roman Catholics." They're "Romanists," or "Papists."

13. You secretly suspect that John Calvin was a liberal because of his compromise on the Sabbath issue.

14. You know the meaning of most or all of the following - PCA, PCUS, PCUSA, PC(USA), PC(U.S.A.), PCUSA(NS), PCUSA(OS), RPCES, RPCNA-GS, RPCNA, EPC, OPC, ARP, NAPARC, CRC, RCA, BPC, BPC-Collingswood, BPC-Columbus, CPC, TE, RE, WCF, WLC, WSC, BCO, UPC, UPCNA, UPCUSA, NPC,

15. You know, or think you know, the difference between "calvinist" and "reformed."

16. You think the phrase "chosen frozen" is a compliment.
 

VirginiaHuguenot

Puritanboard Librarian
:lol:
 

Archlute

Puritan Board Senior
For any of us who formerly spent time in Charismatic circles, #7 has got to win the prize!

[Edited on 12-3-2005 by Archlute]
 

gwine

Puritan Board Sophomore
10. When someone asks you a question about the Bible, you answer, "Well, the confession says . . . " or "the catechism says . . . "

That one's gonna hurt in the morning . . .
 

Anton Bruckner

Puritan Board Professor
Originally posted by Jeff_Bartel


7. When the spirit comes upon you in power, you don't raise your hands and shout Hallelujuah, rather you scratch your chin, turn to your neighbor and whisper "hmmm, . . . that was a good point."


9. You've considered church discipline for people who watch the NFL on Sunday afternoon.

.
LOL:lol::lol::banana::bigsmile::D
 

Arch2k

Puritan Board Graduate
Originally posted by CalsFarmer
I must not be Presbyterian then. In my humble opinion bad taste and not funny.

Originally posted by joshua
Of course, knowing Jeff, he probably did mean offense. :p

Just joshin', Jeff. :D

You might be Presbyterian if you have no sense of humor. :p

I am really only kidding.

I'm guessing by Josh's sense of humor, he'll never make it to Presbyterian... :p
 

Arch2k

Puritan Board Graduate
You might be Presbyterian if even though you are really a member of a baptist church, you try to convince everyone around you that you really ARE Presbyterian.

:banana:
 

Arch2k

Puritan Board Graduate
And by \"assumption\" you mean...definition number 6???

Webster's 1828 Dictionary
Assumption
ASSUMP'TION, n. [L. assumptio.]

1. The act of taking to one's self.

2. The act of taking for granted, or supposing a thing without proof; supposition.

This gives no sanction to the unwarrantable assumption that the soul sleeps from the period of death to the resurrection of the body.

3. The thing supposed; a postulate or proposition assumed. In logic, the minor or second proposition in a categorical syllogism.

4. A consequence drawn from the propositions of which an argument is composed.

5. Undertaking; a taking upon one's self.

6. In the Romish Church, the taking up a person into heaven, as the Virgin Mary. Also a festival in honor of the miraculous ascent of Mary, celebrated by the Romish and Greek churches.

7. Adoption.
 

Devin

Puritan Board Sophomore
7. When the spirit comes upon you in power, you don't raise your hands and shout Hallelujuah, rather you scratch your chin, turn to your neighbor and whisper "hmmm, . . . that was a good point."

That one was too good. :lol::banana:
 

daveb

Puritan Board Sophomore
4. You used to be a Baptist.

5. You started drinking ("in moderation" of course) after you left the Baptist church and became a Presbyterian.

Happened to me! :up: :D
 

Me Died Blue

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
You might be a Presbyterian if your church announces a "pot-providence" in the bulletin (the church I attend when visiting back in Cincinnati did this).
 

Arch2k

Puritan Board Graduate
Originally posted by Me Died Blue
You might be a Presbyterian if your church announces a "pot-providence" in the bulletin (the church I attend when visiting back in Cincinnati did this).

Our church calls this meal the same thing! :lol:
 

jfschultz

Puritan Board Junior
You use enough Latin to sound like a papist. Sprinkling your speech with expressions like "Sola Scriptura", "Soli Deo Gloria", "Deo Volente", and "Posse Paccare" (in various combinations with non prefix).
 

alwaysreforming

Puritan Board Sophomore
Originally posted by jfschultz
You use enough Latin to sound like a papist. Sprinkling your speech with expressions like "Sola Scriptura", "Soli Deo Gloria", "Deo Volente", and "Posse Paccare" (in various combinations with non prefix).

OUCH! That one hit home! :lol:
 

Scott

Puritan Board Graduate
From an article by 20th century lawyer Clarence Darrow (Scopes Monkey Trial guy) on how good or bad members of different denominations are on juries:
If a Presbyterian enters the jury box and carefully rolls up his umbrella, and calmly and critically sits down, let him go. He is cold as the grave; he knows right from wrong, although he seldom finds anything right. He believes in John Calvin and eternal punishment. Get rid of him with the fewest possible words before he contaminates the others; unless you and your clients are Presbyterians you probably are a bad lot, and even though you may be a Presbyterian, your client most likely is guilty.
 
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