1. You've got a big bushy beard in honor of R. L. Dabney. 2. You can spell supralapsrian , suprlapsarian, suralapsrian, supralapsarian. 3. When asked to name the twelve apostles you say Matthew, John, James, Andrew, Peter, Nathaniel, Phillip, Simon, Thomas, Augustine, Luther and Calvin. 4. You used to be a Baptist. 5. You started drinking ("in moderation" of course) after you left the Baptist church and became a Presbyterian. 6. Your children's names all begin with "covenant." In other words, normal people have babies, boys, girls, kids, and/or children. Presbyterians, on the other hand have "covenant" children. Instead of introducing your kids as Billy, Bobby and Suzy, it would be more proper to introduce them as Covenant-Bill, Covenant-Bob, and Covenant-Sue. 7. When the spirit comes upon you in power, you don't raise your hands and shout Hallelujuah, rather you scratch your chin, turn to your neighbor and whisper "hmmm, . . . that was a good point." 8. You think fencing has something to do with the Lord's Supper instead of swords. 9. You've considered church discipline for people who watch the NFL on Sunday afternoon. 10. When someone asks you a question about the Bible, you answer, "Well, the confession says . . . " or "the catechism says . . . " 11. Charles Spurgeon is just a little too Arminian for your blood. 12. They aren't "catholics," or even "Roman Catholics." They're "Romanists," or "Papists." 13. You secretly suspect that John Calvin was a liberal because of his compromise on the Sabbath issue. 14. You know the meaning of most or all of the following - PCA, PCUS, PCUSA, PC(USA), PC(U.S.A.), PCUSA(NS), PCUSA(OS), RPCES, RPCNA-GS, RPCNA, EPC, OPC, ARP, NAPARC, CRC, RCA, BPC, BPC-Collingswood, BPC-Columbus, CPC, TE, RE, WCF, WLC, WSC, BCO, UPC, UPCNA, UPCUSA, NPC, 15. You know, or think you know, the difference between "calvinist" and "reformed." 16. You think the phrase "chosen frozen" is a compliment.