Young Love: What are You Waiting For?

Discussion in 'Family Forum' started by JOwen, Nov 29, 2018.

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  1. JOwen

    JOwen Puritan Board Junior

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  2. Afterthought

    Afterthought Puritan Board Junior

    I heartily agree. I think I would add that people should prepare themselves/mature themselves so that they are ready for marriage (although this was implicit in "old enough" to be married).

    Some in the Reformation age married older. I think I recall seeing 26 as an average for men?

    Thank you.
     
  3. timfost

    timfost Puritan Board Junior

    Looking forward to reading it!

    I married at 19 and we just celebrated 14 years in August. I knew I wanted to marry her when I was thirteen, so when people note how young I was, I counter with "well, I did have to wait six years!"
     
  4. JOwen

    JOwen Puritan Board Junior

    Tim, I think you are correct. On the Continent, the average age was 2 or 3 years older than it was with our New England fathers. Not sure why that was exactly.
     
  5. Cedarbay

    Cedarbay Puritan Board Freshman

    Well done. Two thumbs up.
     
  6. ZackF

    ZackF Puritan Board Graduate

    Many of the early reformers were celebates before conversion.
     
  7. JTB.SDG

    JTB.SDG Puritan Board Sophomore

    "Marry young and have lots of kids." Someone gave me that advice at some point. Still working on the second part.
     
  8. JOwen

    JOwen Puritan Board Junior

    We took that advice also.

    [​IMG]
     
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  9. Jack K

    Jack K Puritan Board Professor

    But.... look for a godly mate. If you can't find someone who will help you draw closer to God, and are instead looking at someone who might be a hinderance, don't settle for a mate who is weak in godliness just because you want to hurry and marry young.

    As a general rule, though, the good ones go quickly. Another reason to go ahead and marry.
     
  10. Dekybo

    Dekybo Puritan Board Freshman

    I was 19 and my wife, 18. We are in our 8th year of marriage. I have no regrets about marrying young.
     
  11. JOwen

    JOwen Puritan Board Junior

    Well said.
     
  12. timfost

    timfost Puritan Board Junior

    ...no matter how good looking.
     
  13. Relztrah

    Relztrah Puritan Board Freshman

    I generally agree with the article and I appreciate the many caveats. My wife and I were in our early 30's when we got married, and I'm thankful that I waited. I simply was not mature enough to marry until I was older and if I had gotten married earlier, I fear that it would have been difficult or worse. By the way we just celebrated our 30th anniversary.
     
  14. Jonathan R

    Jonathan R Puritan Board Freshman

    Agreed - I enjoyed the article. My wife and I met when we were 14 (her) and 15 (me). We got married two weeks after she graduated high school. We are coming up on 5 years of marriage, have a wonderful little girl, and could not imagine having waited even longer to get married.
     
  15. ZackF

    ZackF Puritan Board Graduate

    I was 35 and she 29 when we married. I was engaged at 28 but my ex broke it off because I was, to make a long story short, immature. She was right. As Garth Brooks put it, “thank God for unanswered prayers.”
     
  16. nickipicki123

    nickipicki123 Puritan Board Freshman

    If you have someone to marry, why not go for it!

    Trouble is that many of our Reformed singles do not have anyone to marry. I know in my congregation there are few eligible singles.
     
  17. JOwen

    JOwen Puritan Board Junior

    Nicki,
    Your point is well taken. Since the writing of the article, many have expressed their desire to marry, but the Lord has not provided that special someone. I think in most congregations have a few (if not more) who fit into the "twenty-somethings" group who "would-if-they-could." I have a daughter that falls into this category. I wish there was something more tangible I could do for these young adults. My heart goes out to them.
     
  18. Ed Walsh

    Ed Walsh Puritan Board Junior

    Mary and I have been married since 1973 (45 years) and are still madly in love with each other. Really! We were 21 years old at the time. I've said a hundred times or more that I wish we had married years earlier. Like maybe 17 or 18. In this often arid world, my marriage has been an oasis.
    _"and there are many adversaries." (1 Cor. 16:9) [notice Paul did not say "but"]
     
  19. Tom Hart

    Tom Hart Puritan Board Junior

    A very real issue is that older parents can struggle to keep up with young kids. Around here people wait until thirty before even considering marriage. They have kids when they are in their early or mid-thirties. And that kid will be in kindergarten when they are in their forties. Not ideal. I see too many exhausted, older parents shoving a screen in their young kids' faces to keep them quiet.

    (I am in my twenties and my son tires me out every day.)
     
  20. 2ndViolinist

    2ndViolinist Puritan Board Freshman

    An interesting article! Thank you for writing this and sharing it. I just want to reply to one point specifically, #6.

    I'm inexperienced, but I think that if someone struggles with "unbridled lust" as a single, they might still struggle with it while married. Someone with this problem ought first to bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ, not seek to get married young as a solution. His grace is sufficient--for older singles waiting for the Lord to bring along the right mate and for younger couples looking toward marriage.
     
  21. Grant Jones

    Grant Jones Puritan Board Junior

    Well for me (I married at 19), the Lord used my bride to bridle my lust (1 Cor. 7:9). Most thankfully! After 8 years this still rings true.:detective:
     
  22. Reformed Covenanter

    Reformed Covenanter Puritan Board Doctor

    No offence, brother, but I imagined that you were in your 40s. The pipe must age you. :lol:;)
     
  23. Grant Jones

    Grant Jones Puritan Board Junior

    None taken....my older look has always served me well in careers, church, and marriage. My wife was 23 when we got married. This is what I look like with no makeup, so I still think I clean up nicely:
    upload_2018-12-6_16-44-36.gif
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2018
  24. Harley

    Harley Puritan Board Sophomore

    Thank you for the article. Might I add a resource that helped me before I get married?

    Directives to Singles - Albert N. Martin

    As a single I admit this overcaution of marrying young frustrated me. Everyone talked about waiting on the Lord, or how the Lord might just will that I be single for a while longer, or (most cheeringly) "I didn't get married until thirty-..." but at the same time none of the same people ever said to me, "I see that you want to be married. I don't think you're ready, but let me help you get ready." Apart from that last bit, you almost leave a single feeling ashamed like he or she is sinning for desiring marriage. Of course, there was one friend who had waited a long time himself did encourage me to look and get ready, and it was refreshing.

    At one point I just bucked all the conventional advice, took a few drastic moves to get a secure and decent job, and then got married at 26. I did have a job, but had begun corresponding with my wife while having been there less than two months, not even sure the job would work out, and it was my first real job. I married her nine months later, and thankfully the job worked out. I only wish I had met and married my wife sooner. And for that matter, taken steps to get ready sooner.
     
  25. JOwen

    JOwen Puritan Board Junior

    Very nice. Thank you for the helpful link, and your personal testimony.
     
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