Unoriginalname
Puritan Board Junior
I don't really know if I am asking anything or just stating something. Probably 2 years ago, I lived with my parents at home while looking for work after college and was greatly discouraged. Discouragement grew from that subtle discontentment that we have a hard time putting are finger on to open anger towards God for my lot in life. I remember my mother and I got into an argument over something to do with job applications and stated how many people at her church were praying for me. I mocked her and told her that it was God who put me into this situation (my language was more blasphemous than that). I still feel great shame to this day that I mocked both God, his saints and my mother so openly in that moment. The way my mother cried when I said that still haunts me and it routinely fills me with the feelings of being a fraud when I go to pray.