I do think it is possible for a community of believers to maintain a practice that the Bible does not mandate, and to do this in a way that is NOT pressuring or condemning.
Can you provide any examples of this kind of community?
With drinking alcohol, I saw something like this in the church in which I grew up, where my dad was a missionary pastor. The church was among American Indians, and those believers were acutely aware of the dangers of alcohol abuse. Many had been rescued from that lifestyle. Many others were tempted daily, or had experienced abuse due to the frequent drunkenness of those around them. In addition, that culture knew nothing of the concept that one could have a drink socially, or to relax, without having several drinks to get drunk. Alcohol consumption and drunkenness were inseperable, culturally. I suppose folks realized that in other parts of the world, and in Bible times, there were people who would drink without getting drunk. But they didn't personally know
anyone like that. All drinking they knew was for getting drunk.
What's a pastor to do in that setting? Certainly my dad, born in Europe, did not take a European approach and have a beer or a glass of wine with dinner while among those believers. This would have been badly misunderstood. Instead, he chose to abstain altogether, as did every believer we knew there. I wouldn't say there was pressure or condemnation in the apporach; rather, there was a recognition that by their abstinance believers could be a good witness to the culture and supportive to others who were trying to stay sober.
My dad said many times that the Bible did not forbid drinking alcohol, and that only Christ—not staying sober—could make a man right with God. I don't believe he ever told the congregation that they should abstain (though he surely said this to certain, individual strugglers). But the culture of the church, in that setting, made abstinance an informal "rule" of life in Christ. My dad did not fight this. In fact, he joined in. He clarified the biblical position now and then, but he also embraced the way those believers applied Christ's command to be new people who left old and sinful lifestyles behind.
Might he have used the situation to make points about how it's possible to drink responsibly, or how Christ gives freedom, or how we should not add to God's law, etc.—by having an occasional drink and doing so responsibly? I suppose he might have tried. But he was far more concerned with demonstrating how good it is to flee sin, how necessary it is to to leave old lifestyles behind when coming to Christ, and how Christians hate anything which causes harm and pain in the lives of others. I think his priorities were right. I think that was a good place not to fight the abstinance culture in the church. And from what I could tell, he did so without heaping guilt or pressure or condemnation on anyone. Believers already sensed it was loving and wise to abstain in that setting. My dad affirmed those impulses while reminding folks not to turn it into a legalistic command.
My dad surely didn't pastor perfectly in this regard, but I think his overall approach was wise and biblical. I am always wary of legalism. But I think we need to not be so wary that we stifle efforts to take a tough approach to besetting sin.