Adoption
- Thread starter Zenas
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One way is through the county in which you live. You would need to contact the child welfare office in your area. You would then have a background check, take classes, get your home licensed, and with the help of your social worker create a 'home study'. The entire process can take 6 - 18 months before a child is placed in your home.
Another method is to go through a private adoption agency. Someone else would have to advise you on that.
Another method is to go through a private adoption agency. Someone else would have to advise you on that.
Idelette
Puritan Board Graduate
There are many Christian adoption agencies that you can look into. Here is one that is within the states: http://www.bethany.org/
If you decide to go internationally, I have some friends that are going through this agency and would highly recommend them:
International Adoption Agency – Christian World Adoption (CWA)
If you decide to go internationally, I have some friends that are going through this agency and would highly recommend them:
International Adoption Agency – Christian World Adoption (CWA)
Edward
Puritanboard Commissioner
Basically, your 4 options are:
Foreign adoption - you'll have to go through an accredited agency for this. Drawback - it's likely the most expensive. Advantage - you don't have to put up with grief from the birth parents for the next 20 years. Disadvantage - you are somewhat at the mercy of international politics. Advantage - you are in the driver's seat, and can specify what you consider important (but there is no warranty).
State adoptions. You'll have to go through a government agency. Advantage - cheapest - the state/county will pick up most of the legal costs. Disadvantage - Most of the kids come with baggage -- history of emotional or physical abuse, emotional or learning problems. If you have what it takes, it can be highly rewarding.
Private agency adoptions. You'll go through a private agency (Bethany, Edna Gladney, etc). Disadvantage - Given current market conditions, the birth mother will basically pick you, instead of you picking the child. She can negotiate for a high level of post adoption involvement in your life. Advantage - the children are usually infants, and don't come with the baggage that those from government agencies do. Disadvantage - mother can change her mind at the last moment, causing much emotional turmoil.
Private placement - most frequently an illegitimate child from a relative, friend, or from someone a pastor knows. Disadvantage - can be difficult to make contact, mother can change mind. On the fringes, there are folks who border on unethical, if not illegal conduct.
I personally was not willing to consider anything but international, but I've known folks who have been successful at each of the 4.
Foreign adoption - you'll have to go through an accredited agency for this. Drawback - it's likely the most expensive. Advantage - you don't have to put up with grief from the birth parents for the next 20 years. Disadvantage - you are somewhat at the mercy of international politics. Advantage - you are in the driver's seat, and can specify what you consider important (but there is no warranty).
State adoptions. You'll have to go through a government agency. Advantage - cheapest - the state/county will pick up most of the legal costs. Disadvantage - Most of the kids come with baggage -- history of emotional or physical abuse, emotional or learning problems. If you have what it takes, it can be highly rewarding.
Private agency adoptions. You'll go through a private agency (Bethany, Edna Gladney, etc). Disadvantage - Given current market conditions, the birth mother will basically pick you, instead of you picking the child. She can negotiate for a high level of post adoption involvement in your life. Advantage - the children are usually infants, and don't come with the baggage that those from government agencies do. Disadvantage - mother can change her mind at the last moment, causing much emotional turmoil.
Private placement - most frequently an illegitimate child from a relative, friend, or from someone a pastor knows. Disadvantage - can be difficult to make contact, mother can change mind. On the fringes, there are folks who border on unethical, if not illegal conduct.
I personally was not willing to consider anything but international, but I've known folks who have been successful at each of the 4.
Idelette
Puritan Board Graduate
Mary,
Can I ask why you would not recommend them? I have friends that are in the process of adopting a child from Ethiopia through CWA and I've heard nothing but good things. I'm curious what your experience with the agency has been, and if there is something that my friends should be aware of?
Sending you a PM.
Foster to Adopt question: how much support is there for families during/after the adoption (we would go through a private agency) that can help them work through the enormous amount of baggage AND how much disclosure is there of what sort of abuses the kids may have been put through?
TIA!
TIA!
dr_parsley
Puritan Board Freshman
Erm, if you can't make it public, can you send a PM to me too? My wife runs a large orphan project in South Africa and what you have to say sounds interesting.
Montanablue
Puritan Board Doctor
I would also be interested in the answer to this question. I doubt that I will have enough money to adopt internationally when the time comes, so I'd be interested to know more about foster-to-adopt.
Caroline
Puritan Board Sophomore
It depends on the agency that you work with and the level of foster care that you work with. Generally, there are two options--(1) you can go through the county. Advantages: more children are available, and usually they are younger and/or with fewer problems. Disadvantages: you usually receive children who have recently been removed, meaning that they are not available for adoption, and it's anyone's guess whether they ever will be. They may stay only for a day or so, or several years, or they may end up available for adoption, at which point the foster parent is given the first option to adopt. There is a lower level of support, but if you want a young child and/or a child with few problems, this is the most likely way to be successful. (2) you can go through a private agency as a therapeutic foster parent. Advantages: a much higher level of support (both practical and financial) and many (perhaps even most) of the children are already available for adoption. Disadvantages: you will usually only be placed with one child or sibling group at a time, and these are children that have been flagged as needing a higher level of care. There are various reasons for this--somtimes it simply is because it is a big sibling group that the county wants to keep together or something like that, but most often it is due to behavioral problems and/or disability. With therapeutic care, the caseworkers often work with you on behavior plans for the child, etc.
In my experience, there is disclosure of the child's history to the extent that it is known. However, I have rarely found the investigation to be 'complete' in the sense that there often were things that went undetected that surface later.
To prepare you: most of the children have learning disabilities (often due to fetal alcohol syndrome), and sexual abuse is almost always in their history (whether it was initially reported or not), so sexual acting out is quite common, even among very young children, and you have to be able to be relaxed about it and not overreact, but also be able to address it appropriately. You also have to be prepared to take the child to a LOT of appointments (they usually have lingering medical problems, are in counseling, and of course, there are the regular caseworker meetings). They are usually on medication (in fact, I think the county tends to over-medicate them), and it is not your choice to continue or discontinue meds until you adopt them.
You do receive training, and there are usually foster parent support groups and such. You are never required to take (or keep) any child, so it is voluntary up until you adopt them. However, of course, if you are skittish and turn them down or ask for children that you took to be removed often, then you tend to stop getting calls about taking them. (Caseworkers generally go with someone that they know to be reliable and open to accepting children).
So that's the story. It can be a very rewarding experience, but it is a big commitment. Ultimately, I think the best foster parents are the very relaxed, mellow souls that can don't get easily rattled. I have had foster kids steal my computer, ********** in public, etc, so they usually aren't perfect little angels ... but it is quite remarkable to watch them change over time.
PS Edited to say that these things are based primarily on my experience in my own state. From what I know, it is applicable to most states, but it is possibly that things vary slightly from state to state, so, for example, therapeutic foster care may be less prominent in some states than in others.
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