Advice For Helping My Son

[David073]

Last week we had a very intense thunderstorm in NJ that knocked out the electricity in my apartment. What’s more is that lightning actually struck the apartment which destroyed most things plugged into an outlet and scared me a little, but terrified my 3 and a half year old son. After he had calmed down he asked why this storm happened and of course I told him that God is sovereign over all, including storms and that although I do not know why God brought this storm, what I do know is that it was for a purpose. My son then was very concerned why or how God could allow such a scary thing to happen. I stressed to Him the goodness of God, but that sometimes we may never know why He allows these things to happen, but we need to remember that God has and does take care of us and that the worst and most terrifying thing to ever happen was the unlawful death of Jesus and from there I explained the Gospel to him. My son still just couldn’t understand how God could’ve allowed the storm though. I fear that my son may have a bad impression about God, and I need any advice as to how I could help him to understand God’s goodness. Did I say something wrong? What could I have said that would’ve been better? Thank you


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[Andres]

Perhaps focus on how God was gracious in the situation in that despite your home being hit by lightning, no one was injured and your apt didnt catch fire or anything worse? Even in your specific situation God preserved your family, so while it was scary things could have been much worse.

 

[David073]

Perhaps focus on how God was gracious in the situation in that despite your home being hit by lightning, no one was injured and your apt didnt catch fire or anything worse? Even in your specific situation God preserved your family, so while it was scary things could have been much worse.

I did speak to him about this, but maybe I can stress it more. It seems that the fear of the situation has a firmer grasp on him than knowing the graciousness of God. Maybe it’s his age?


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[Andres]

I did speak to him about this, but maybe I can stress it more. It seems that the fear of the situation has a firmer grasp on him than knowing the graciousness of God. Maybe it’s his age?


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Most likely. I have a 3 year old also. Kids just get scared more easily since they arent able to rationalize or understand everything like adults. Just continue to reassure your Son of God's faithfulness and goodness and even read some Scriptures confirming such to him.

 

[Jeri Tanner]

If I could go back and do some do-overs I would stress and point out to my young children more, as Andres says above, God’s kindnesses to us that are all around us, and that stem from his sovereignty over all things, rather than a heavier focus on his sending bad or scary things for his own purposes. When they’re very young like that.
Not that we’re hiding anything about God. Just in hearing the Bible read, they’ll learn that God sends judgments. And will hear it in preaching, and the singing of Psalms. But in things that “hit close to home” we can teach them to rejoice in God’s care and deliverances.

 

[David073]

Thank you all of the responses have been very insightful.


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[jwithnell]

Your house is his whole world, so a scary event at home is particularly difficult. Day by day, thank God with your children for the "small" mercies of security, comfort, and peace. Make it particular-- the calm weather today, the love God showed him through his mother's reading his favorite story ... It may not erase the storm, but will slowly replace fear with gratitude.

 

[Edward]

After he had calmed down he asked why this storm happened and of course I told him that God is sovereign over all, including storms and that although I do not know why God brought this storm, what I do know is that it was for a purpose.

He needed comfort and reassurance. Not an excuse for a theology lesson.

 

[David073]

He needed comfort and reassurance. Not an excuse for a theology lesson.

Which I did and we are to view everything through a theological lens, especially while he is young.


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[Edward]

we are to view everything through a theological lens, especially while he is young.

Maybe a bit more doctrines of grace and a little less fear and admonition at that age.

 

[Taylor]

He needed comfort and reassurance. Not an excuse for a theology lesson.

Isn't this a bit of a false dichotomy? If he broke out his copy of Berkhof and started reading it to his son, then there might be a problem. But can he not comfort his child through lessons about who God is (theology), albeit brought down to his little level?

 

[Reformed Covenanter]

If he broke out his copy of Berkhof and started reading it to his son, then there might be a problem.

Not really, it would have put anyone to sleep ... no matter how bad the storm!

 

[David073]

Not really, it would have put anyone to sleep ... no matter how bad the storm!

I’ll keep that in mind next time lol [emoji38]


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[Tom Hart]

When we've had big storms, typhoons, etc., I have emphasized to my son (now five) the power of God. "Listen to that thunder! Do you know who makes it? No one is stronger than God." That might be a good place to start talking about God's promises to take care of us, and from there you can talk about the character of God, that he always is faithful and never breaks his promise, and so on.

It helps not to show your own nervousness in a storm. If a parent is nervous or stressed, the child is quick to pick up on it. Even if your concern is only about your child, too much "there, there" can lead him to think there's real reason to be worried. Be calm, and maybe even try to make fun out of it. Power's out? Have some fun with flashlights, or light a candle and explain how they work. (Candles are a cleverer invention than you might think!) You might explain, too, that a long time ago, people didn't have lights with lightswitches, and everyone had to use candles and go to bed when the sun went down; in God's mercy we have things like electric lights and toasters.

 

[Edward]

When we've had big storms, typhoons, etc., I have emphasized to my son (now five) the power of God. "Listen to that thunder! Do you know who makes it? No one is stronger than God." That might be a good place to start talking about God's promises to take care of us, and from there you can talk about the character of God, that he always is faithful and never breaks his promise, and so on.

Very well said and done.