Are Singles Really Incomplete People?

[Ryan&Amber2013]

We are going through a book right now called "Masculine Mandate." Have any of you read it? Some things aren't sitting right with me so far. Are singles made incomplete? He says God looks around single people's homes and refrigerators and sighs "not good."

He also says men are to find their satisfaction in working and keeping, most often being married to have a women help them in that. To me that almost sounds like work is being exalted as more fulfilling than marriage.

Any thoughts?

 

[RamistThomist]

He says God looks around single people's homes and refrigerators and sighs "not good."

I am fairly certain Paul said exactly the opposite in 1 Corinthians.

 

[JTB.SDG]

Ryan, sounds strange. Is green been casserole more holy than mac and cheese? Can't think of any proof text there. Maybe he's going for shock value.

I do know I have grown a ton (IE, been very humbled) through marriage and especially parenting. Lots of sanctification I needed in my life that I didn't realize. Much more to come that I still don't I'm sure.

But that doesn't mean it has to happen through marriage. God has other ways to chisel us into His image. Marriage is the norm, and it's a wonderful way the Lord uses to do these things, but that certainly doesn't mean it's the only way.

 

[Edward]

It's been a cold winter up north. Perhaps you should be charitable and donate it to someone who lives up there so they can use it to help keep themselves warm.

 

[JTB.SDG]

It's been a cold winter up north. Perhaps you should be charitable and donate it to someone who lives up there so they can use it to help keep themselves warm.

You mean by lighting it on fire?

 

[TheOldCourse]

I read it as part of a small group at a previous church a number of years ago. I didn't care for it. Genesis 2:15 simply cannot bear the weight Rev. Phillips puts on it. There's some sound advice and application piecemeal throughout the book, but as an example of "good and necessary consequence" and careful elaboration of biblical themes, I found it much lacking. I don't recall many more specifics than that, but I recall that, as a group, there were quite a few points that were taken issue with.

I do see our own Rev. Duguid blurbed it, however, so perhaps my memory is too hard on it.

 

[ZackF]

We are going through a book right now called "Masculine Mandate." Have any of you read it? Some things aren't sitting right with me so far. Are singles made incomplete? He says God looks around single people's homes and refrigerators and sighs "not good."

He also says men are to find their satisfaction in working and keeping, most often being married to have a women help them in that. To me that almost sounds like work is being exalted as more fulfilling than marriage.

Any thoughts?

I have had the book for couple years but only read half of it. Having found Rev. Phillips helpful on everything that I'd read or heard by him, I bought the book after and interview he gave about the subject. I still wish I could find a lecture series he did on covenant theology a few years ago. Anyway, a large part of the problem discussing these sex/gender role issues is terminology. I don't think for a minute that Rick Phillips thinks that Jesus, St. Paul or any man called to singleness is half a man.

I should go finish the book but speaking generally, I can guess since singleness for life is rare he is addressing a cultural impulse that glorifies travel, "options", gaming and pr0n. All of which no doubt are causing men to delay marriage and interfere negatively with existing marriages. There is a healthy line to be struck between man-child soyboys on one side and brutes on the other. I remember him emphasizing taking dominion and the creation mandate.

 

[Polanus1561]

^ ditto. Too many distractions in the world that delay a man to assess his calling for God in this life which MAY include marriage. And we all have to presuppose that for the majority of us, we are called to marriage unless circumstances proved otherwise.

 

[Pergamum]

Singleness seems preferred by the Apostle Paul for ministry purposes.

However, most people are not called to be single and so they are often miserable in that state or fall into sin because of remaining in that state.

And also, the nature of the West is to delay marriage - not due to a calling of singleness to serve God - but out of a desire to get ahead in college, remain unbound, etc. Some reasons are sinful reasons, and lead to later family dysfunction. For example, a man who wants to marry later but remains single often does so for selfish/sinful reasons in the West, such as dating around, sowing his oats, remaining free to party and travel, etc. A woman who wants to marry later but chooses to remain single in the West often does so for selfish/sinful reasons to advance career, etc, and by the time she "settles down" she also "settles" because few men want a middle-aged independent woman who has had many lovers, and so her later married life will suffer.

I believe the book you mention probably exalts working and raising a family for men because he is probably addressing current western sins among young men. The current generation of men are often reluctant to marry. They delay marriage, run from commitment, play video games into their 30's and are addicted to p0rn. Of course, they often feel as if marriage might be a bad deal due to the current poor state of Western women, the high rates of divorce, the fact that the courts favor women and she can clean you out and steal your kids and turn them against you if you bind yourself legally in marriage to her, etc. So, the battle of the sexes that was begin with feminism has continued to this point where many men would rather stay unmarried and unbound legally for their own self-protection and ease (The Men Going Their Own Way Movement, etc).

I also believe it is in a man's nature to work. Adam was given a job and a helpmeet even before sin entered the world.

 

[Bill Duncan]

We are going through a book right now called "Masculine Mandate." Have any of you read it? Some things aren't sitting right with me so far. Are singles made incomplete? He says God looks around single people's homes and refrigerators and sighs "not good."

He also says men are to find their satisfaction in working and keeping, most often being married to have a women help them in that. To me that almost sounds like work is being exalted as more fulfilling than marriage.

Any thoughts?

Rick is a great advocate for bringing the PCA back to its confessional and Presbyterian roots so I would tread lightly on disparaging him. I don't read many living authors so I can't say anything about his books. However, I would highly doubt that the single person's home and God's sigh was anything more than hyperbole. I think rather, there is simply the contrast between the cursed and the created world. It certainly speaks to our sad condition that a man would be without a wife if he wants one.

Adam was given Eve for the optimum partnering in the creation mandate which was "good". The proto-couple's failure to practice the duty of their perspective roles resulted in the "not good" condition of what would occur all throughout history, not only today. That's why I despise modern attempts by christian authors to reinvent the wheel with all of these marriage and family self help books. The problem is age old and their is nothing they can add to the discussion that has not already been said.

The husband/wife relationship is optimal but not always decretive. It is preceptive in the fallen world only with conditions attached. I would hope this is the way Rick would think.

I was not familiar with the title and when someone mentioned the author's name as "Phillips" a flood of bad memories overtook me. Doug Phillips was my former guru. I could have easily imagined him authoring a book with the title "Masculine Mandate". Ugh! Nasty business! I was Redeemed.