Here is my struggle.
I have long been a dismisser of any religious practice that seemed too formal.
People always seem to gravitate toward the ritual and not the relationship it seems. I feel more comfortable in church plants and places where the order of worship is not rigid and set and things are just beginning to gel. I like to see things done freely out of zeal rather than out of habit and am even leery of fixing these zealous practices to set times of the day, etc, or a set pattern.
One area that I have always been dismissive of is devotionals and also set times of prayer.
Last I checked, devotional was an adjective, but somehow it has turned into a noun (as in "doing my devotionals") and has become a set religious exercise, which many people seem to count as something meritorious...”Did you do your devotionals today?”
Also, prayer should be spontanous and not something you fix at certain hours (“oh, time to pray again..”) – especially here this practice seems so Islamic.
But,
Here’s my problem this past year.
My free and zealous and spontanous practices have been forgotten sometimes.
While I believe that we are to be devotional rather than do devotionals and we should always be going to the Word out of love, I have been going to the Word less and less out of zeal or love and more and more out of a need to teach others. Also, my prayers have contained less thanks and more petitions (my need list has grown and sometimes my prayers consist of “Thanks God, now here’s a laundry list.”).
Also, due to high stress and short time sometimes, my prayers are done in the midst of doing other things, such as travelling, waiting, etc, and I have a hard time being patient enough to list the prayers of every believer and there families. Instead of praying for Bob, Susie, Earl, Jimmie, Jane and Tommy, I find myself always praying for the So-and-so family taken corporately..or the X tribe altogether (I.e., I am clumping the subjects in my prayers into major categories to cover more ground...”I pray for the church throughout the world, fellow missionaries and the work of the Gospel....”). Sometimes, I have simply prayed thusly, “Lord, thank you for your mercy, you know my needs. I pray also for all those who need it...” etc, very abbreviated. I have never been much for flowery words.
If I say my problem is a lack of zeal in prayer, then I am putting the value of my prayer on some sort of quality in myself or emotion or energy. I am zealous in all I do; I just am not real patient. Also, I perhaps I am too familiar with activities in the church.. I know familiarity breeds contempt as they say, and I certainly have no contempt for long prayers or bbile study, but that “special feeling” I had when I first believed is gone.
For instance, this morning I read again the first chapter of James and prayed before and after and my prayers were basically, “Thanks God for who you are, thank you for your mercy to me and my family, help me understand this Word and apply it today, keep me and my family safe and help me to honor your name. Bless the work here and help us all. In your name, Amen.” All of about 15 seconds before and after.
I thought about lengthening my prayer and trying for a minute or too. After I did my reading, I prayed again and I also remembered all my supporting churches back home and my home church as well. But, instead of praying for each by name, I simply added into my prayer, “Bless my supporting churches and the famailies in my home churches as well...especially the family of so-and-so who is having troubles right now.” That’s it, a total of maybe 1 minute.
Throughout the day these "Minute prayers" will occur several times. I guess I shouldn't be trying to quantify my time length in prayers, but it is hard not to try to check one's self (and always find one's self wanting).
So, this is a list of my current struggles. Anyone else also struggle with this? What do you do about it? That post about rising early is starting to convict me that maybe I should make my times of prayer and reading more formal - at least until I get over this hump.
What think ye?
I have long been a dismisser of any religious practice that seemed too formal.
People always seem to gravitate toward the ritual and not the relationship it seems. I feel more comfortable in church plants and places where the order of worship is not rigid and set and things are just beginning to gel. I like to see things done freely out of zeal rather than out of habit and am even leery of fixing these zealous practices to set times of the day, etc, or a set pattern.
One area that I have always been dismissive of is devotionals and also set times of prayer.
Last I checked, devotional was an adjective, but somehow it has turned into a noun (as in "doing my devotionals") and has become a set religious exercise, which many people seem to count as something meritorious...”Did you do your devotionals today?”
Also, prayer should be spontanous and not something you fix at certain hours (“oh, time to pray again..”) – especially here this practice seems so Islamic.
But,
Here’s my problem this past year.
My free and zealous and spontanous practices have been forgotten sometimes.
While I believe that we are to be devotional rather than do devotionals and we should always be going to the Word out of love, I have been going to the Word less and less out of zeal or love and more and more out of a need to teach others. Also, my prayers have contained less thanks and more petitions (my need list has grown and sometimes my prayers consist of “Thanks God, now here’s a laundry list.”).
Also, due to high stress and short time sometimes, my prayers are done in the midst of doing other things, such as travelling, waiting, etc, and I have a hard time being patient enough to list the prayers of every believer and there families. Instead of praying for Bob, Susie, Earl, Jimmie, Jane and Tommy, I find myself always praying for the So-and-so family taken corporately..or the X tribe altogether (I.e., I am clumping the subjects in my prayers into major categories to cover more ground...”I pray for the church throughout the world, fellow missionaries and the work of the Gospel....”). Sometimes, I have simply prayed thusly, “Lord, thank you for your mercy, you know my needs. I pray also for all those who need it...” etc, very abbreviated. I have never been much for flowery words.
If I say my problem is a lack of zeal in prayer, then I am putting the value of my prayer on some sort of quality in myself or emotion or energy. I am zealous in all I do; I just am not real patient. Also, I perhaps I am too familiar with activities in the church.. I know familiarity breeds contempt as they say, and I certainly have no contempt for long prayers or bbile study, but that “special feeling” I had when I first believed is gone.
For instance, this morning I read again the first chapter of James and prayed before and after and my prayers were basically, “Thanks God for who you are, thank you for your mercy to me and my family, help me understand this Word and apply it today, keep me and my family safe and help me to honor your name. Bless the work here and help us all. In your name, Amen.” All of about 15 seconds before and after.
I thought about lengthening my prayer and trying for a minute or too. After I did my reading, I prayed again and I also remembered all my supporting churches back home and my home church as well. But, instead of praying for each by name, I simply added into my prayer, “Bless my supporting churches and the famailies in my home churches as well...especially the family of so-and-so who is having troubles right now.” That’s it, a total of maybe 1 minute.
Throughout the day these "Minute prayers" will occur several times. I guess I shouldn't be trying to quantify my time length in prayers, but it is hard not to try to check one's self (and always find one's self wanting).
So, this is a list of my current struggles. Anyone else also struggle with this? What do you do about it? That post about rising early is starting to convict me that maybe I should make my times of prayer and reading more formal - at least until I get over this hump.
What think ye?