Even in churches where the difference between doctrine /and/ everything-else is pretty clear, one still has to deal with two issues.
1) Discipline. There are various levels of application, and various intensity of application. Ideally, there is mature understanding among the elders of the difference between ordinary and extraordinary circumstances, and what leaders should call for, and what compliance should follow. In this church discipline mirrors family discipline or the like. Also, particular and deliberate impositions of discipline cannot fail (without great harm) to invoke a specific biblical prescription or prohibition. It should be the Law of God that defines all sin. And a well-ordered church should have a healthy arena for "freedom of conscience."
2) But there's still going to be differences in churches. Which brings up the second issue: Culture. The wider culture or society around the church has an impact; and the narrower, internal culture, the literal "growth medium" constituting the church environment. On the one hand, a man may encounter a church that looks and feels to him like its a bit too much like an army base. The people there seem happy and all, but boy are they in "lockstep." How things are there has nothing to do with whether this uniformity is a blessing or a curse. The irony is, if one of those people visited the first man's church, he would probably find a curious mixture of "laxity" (e.g. lotta people there smoke! no one does that at my church!) and "rigidity" (all the ladies wear scarfs! even the girls!).
These are examples of culture. And because of the mobile society in the USA, and because of the heavy premium put on "democratic" taste, 1) too many people refuse to make any attempt to "fit in" to a place, or find fault with the alien culture; and 2) too many churches raise their culture to the level of discipline, or even doctrine. To be fair, most people and churches don't do much thinking about the environment in their company. Try describing what "wet" means to a fish. First you need a concept of "dry."
Jeremiah,
I don't know what exactly you are dealing with. It sound from your side that your difficulties dealing with this church or that, or this person or that, have to do with disciplinary manner and culture. Has there been anything attempted your direction other than social pressure? How have you been accommodating to the preexisting culture you found yourself in?
What is the policy/procedure of discipline in your churches? Is it spelled out anywhere (like a Book of Church Order)? Where is the matter of "Christian liberty" and "binding the conscience" dealt with? What is the church's doctrine concerning membership and discipline? Is this spelled out in a membership class? Do folks know what they are getting into when they join? For all that a church says, "we just follow the Bible here," there are benefits to having a go-to explanation for how that translates into week-to-week Christianity rubbing shoulders with the flock. Where it's not spelled out, liberty quickly can morph into tyranny. It may still become tyranny where it is spelled out; but at least one can see it coming, and call it.
Hope this is helpful. And don't become a lone-ranger crew.
