Ethical Dilemma: Preferred Pronouns and Christian Charity

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Reformed Catholic

Reformed Catholic

Puritan Board Freshman
Regarding using gender pronouns I was recently challenged by a somewhat charismatic but conservative pastor who said it could be loving act to refer to someone by their gender pronouns, even if they don't line up with their sex assigned at birth. To me, I was shocked to hear this because it seems to be capitulation to the world's systems and bearing false witness (9th commandment) but he referenced 1 Corinthians 8 and eating meat sacrificed to idols in defense of it, claiming the two scenarios are similiar and the "loving" action could vary. What are your thoughts, I have always seen any capitulation to the gender ideology movement as evil.

Can we make a biblical case that it is sinful to...
(1) refer to someone by their gender pronouns that do not correspond with their sex assigned at birth?
or/and
(2) use personal pronouns for oneself (for example on social media bios) as a way to "accommodate" others

I would appreciate biblical and pastoral (if possible) answers.
 
Using meat sacrificed to idols as a justification seems to me to be quite a poor argument. Among other reasons, because Paul instructs believers not to eat meat sacrificed to idols where it will appear an endorsement of sin (1 Cor. 8:13, 1 Cor. 10:28).
So why should we use pronouns where it will appear to be an endorsement of sodomy, cross-dressing, gender ideology, etc?
 
Last edited:
Reformed Catholic said:
Can we make a biblical case that it is sinful to...
(1) refer to someone by their gender pronouns that do not correspond with their sex assigned at birth?

(2) use personal pronouns for oneself (for example on social media bios) as a way to "accommodate" others
Click to expand...

(1) It is sinful. Our job is to love our neighbor. To solidify their delusion (gender dysphoria), only soothes their conscience in regards to their sin. We can lovingly call them away from error, but we cannot ground them in it. Romans 1:32 , Jude 18-23

(2) If the pronouns we are thinking about are deceptive in nature, the reasoning is the same. I can sit down with someone who is struggling with sexual dysphoria, and have a conversation with them. I cannot pretend to be confused about my God-given identity. To do so would be,
a.) Deceitful.
b.) Gospel-blurring. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
 
Happily, it's not really necessary to use gendered pronouns at all when speaking English. Getting around it is pretty easy unless someone is forcing the issue and insisting you stop using a person's name or other workarounds, and instead use certain pronouns, perhaps because they think someone needs the affirmation, or to signal an ideology, or something like that.

And if someone were insisting, I'd probably see it as an opportunity to tell about Jesus. I hope I'd be ready/able to tell how Christians don't really go around affirming people in any kind of self-decided personhood because we believe in a more glorious identity bestowed from outside us. I might also see if I could share how Christ gives amazing hope when it comes to the body, so that trans solutions to body-gender questions sound woefully inadequate to me.

Most of us are not very ready to discuss these topics because we've not been raised with much theology of the body. But it's time to learn how to talk about it in connection with the whole gospel, so that we are ready to explain the hope that is in us.

I suppose there might be rare cases where a certain person could be best loved, temporarily, if I went ahead and just talked the way they want me to talk, especially if I was pretty sure no one would take it as an endorsement. But it feels like a lie, so I'm skeptical. And more importantly, it fails to offer hope when there's an opportunity to do so. Of course, certain other responses also fail to offer hope, including "You're wrong! Here's what God says..." or "I'm going to defend my right to refuse to..." In most situations, I hope I would respond with something like, "That doesn't fit with how I believe Jesus helps us. May I explain how Jesus offers something much better?"
 
Don’t adopt their language, stand firm, push back if necessary. “Sex assigned at birth” perpetuates the idea that one’s sex can differ from his “gender.” It reinforces the idea that our gender is forced on us unwillingly or something like that. This is why I refuse to say “anti-abortion,” changes in language may be subtle, but they do matter.
I don’t give my pronouns as a general rule of thumb. If it’s between that and losing my job, I’ll give them. But giving them reinforces the idea that ones sex can differ from his gender. Don’t participate in insanity.
 
It's not loving to view and call an anorexic overweight because that's how they view themselves.
 
I agree with what has been written. To me, in my small mind, I believe we may solve this ethical dilemma and others with a very simple heuristic:

If forced to choose between truth and love, choose truth.

Often our conception of love is what is faulty. When I think of our Lord, and how He is the Way, the Truth and the Life, and when I think of how He is God, and how God is Love, and how there is no contradiction in the blessed Trinity, I trust that telling the truth is the second most loving thing we can do after laying down our lives for others. I believe a very careful reading of Ephesians 4:15 KJV will confirm this also.
 
I agree with Jack. I've worked in retail for the past 6/7 years and you'd think I'd come across this problem but I haven't, maybe another benefit of living in the south. I just politely talk around the gender issue of pronouns without incident.
Also the reason there isn't millions and or billions of those videos and stories online is because it seems to me most people don't want to be rude. Odly the rudest people I've ever dealt with are European males, not saying all/or most European males I've dealt with are rude. Only saying the rudest people I've dealt with are that.
There's a guy who is married and likes to come into our store and try on dresses and high heels and we all just act like nothings going on. If I go into the dressing room to get something (he never does it when I run the dressing room) and he comes out to show the girls standing around and I glance his direction for a second and just act like nothings going on and get what I have to get and slowly walk out like I didn't just see a dude in a dress and high heels. I've heard him say his wife thinks its weird, huh I wonder why?
 
I have done some beta testing in the design world where emails and comments during webinars can get you in trouble in a hurry. I write around trouble either by using the person's name or diverting to plurals: "They should get their update by ..."
 
On our community "Lost Pets" FB group, people will call a dog "they." "I saw a male dog running down Park Ave. They had a red collar." People have gone nuts.
 
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