Importance of Congregational Seating

[Bethel]

Is it wrong for families and individuals to sit in the same place every Sunday? Should a Pastor require that you move around?

This request from the pulpit took me by surprise. My family has a reason for sitting where we do, but when we are the sanctuary, we are there to worship. Therefore, I consider the most important elements in our service to be the songs, liturgy, prayers, sermon, and Lord's Supper. Where we sit doesn't seem to matter.

Am I missing something?

 

[Bethel]

No, not yet. We are fairly new to the reformed faith, so I thought I would see if this request was normal. In my old Baptist church, we could have written our names on the seats...

 

[SolaScriptura]

I'm not understanding... what is being required of you?

I've been in churches where a particular row or pew or seat becomes, for all practical purposes, a particular family's or person's. On two occasions I've seen it cross into downright unfriendliness towards visitors. On one occasion we visited a church in Kansas and my family came in and sat down. About 2 minutes before the service another family comes in, regular attenders, and the family stands there looking at us for about 2 seconds of silence and then their (approx) 5 year old daughter turned around and addressed her parents in a mortified tone, "They're in OUR seats!" the father and mother didn't look at us and they just ushered their kids to another seat. On a second occasion, we visited a church in Maryland and again, my family was seated, and a guy walks in and he gives me this frown "I usually sit there" - I responded, "I'm sorry, we have an infant so we like to sit in the back, so we like to get where we're going early enough to get a seat to accommodate our need... But don't worry, we won't be sitting here next week."

It could very well be that your pastor is trying to proactively prevent folks from taking a sense of ownership of a certain pew so that things like this can be avoided.

And it is okay for your pastor to do this. He's not binding your conscience with an element of worship.

 

[Phil D.]

Ben, I agree with pretty much everything you've said here. But it does seem a little odd for a pastor to make such a request apart from explaining his reasoning, doesn't it?

 

[Romans922]

I agree with Ben and the fact that you need to seek some clarity from the Pastor and elders/session.

 

[Andres]

I'm not understanding... what is being required of you?

I've been in churches where a particular row or pew or seat becomes, for all practical purposes, a particular family's or person's. On two occasions I've seen it cross into downright unfriendliness towards visitors. On one occasion we visited a church in Kansas and my family came in and sat down. About 2 minutes before the service another family comes in, regular attenders, and the family stands there looking at us for about 2 seconds of silence and then their (approx) 5 year old daughter turned around and addressed her parents in a mortified tone, "They're in OUR seats!" the father and mother didn't look at us and they just ushered their kids to another seat. On a second occasion, we visited a church in Maryland and again, my family was seated, and a guy walks in and he gives me this frown "I usually sit there" - I responded, "I'm sorry, we have an infant so we like to sit in the back, so we like to get where we're going early enough to get a seat to accommodate our need... But don't worry, we won't be sitting here next week."

It could very well be that your pastor is trying to proactively prevent folks from taking a sense of ownership of a certain pew so that things like this can be avoided.

And it is okay for your pastor to do this. He's not binding your conscience with an element of worship.

As Josh already said, you would do well to speak to your pastor and obtain clarification for his reasoning behind his request, but if I had to guess, I would say that Ben nailed it. I too have experienced the whole "you're in my seat!" and I found it be quite rude. Fortunately, I have a church home, so like Ben also said I let it go because I wouldn't be there next week, but I could imagine if someone where visiting a church to try to find a church home, it would be a turn-off to be basically "unwelcomed" by being told they were in the wrong seat. If your pastor made his request in the hopes of making the church more welcoming to visitors, then I think it is a great suggestion.

 

[Bethel]

No, I really don't think this is the case. I know it happens in some churches, but there's no "this is my pew" mentality here. People generally sit in the same area. We sit near the front right so that our boys stay attentive and my youngest son can see the screen which has the words for the our songs and liturgy. The families with babies and toddlers sit in the back to make those necessary quick escapes. College sits on the right and older, empty nest couples on the left. This is a broad generalization with a few exceptions.

Joshua's question about the circumstances surrounding the comment made me think about when our Pastor made the request (to not sit in the same area), and I realized it was made after our greeting time along with a quick remark about getting to know other people. I personally don't get to "know" someone through that very short 2-minute greeting; I get to know people at Sunday School, before and after church, at fellowships, etc. I thought his request was a random comment because we obviously have different expectations of what happens at greeting time.

I guess what I meant is that where we sit shouldn't matter to the Pastor or to other members; however, it could affect the worship of my family. Yes, we can move, but the screen is only on one side of the sanctuary, so if my youngest son can't see, he won't be able to sing the songs (we don't use hymnals), read the liturgy, or follow the sermon notes. Is it more important for our church to appear friendly over a family's decision that enables all of its members to fully participate and worship? For some reason this is binding my conscience because I want to honor and respect our Pastor, but we also have a duty to do what's right for our family's worship.

I've made this a matter of prayer and will continue, but you've given me additional insight to see this from a larger perspective and not just how it affects us.

Blessings,

 

[he beholds]

I would guess (and I could be wrong) that he is saying it as a suggestion, not a demand? It probably is so people can get to know each other better.
Our church does have specific requests as to where we sit, and it used to bother me because it wasn't a clearly expressed rule and it was hard to tell whose rule it was or if it really was a rule. But the church started putting the rule in the announcements so it was obvious that it was a rule. (The rule is we are not to sit in the back pews because they like to leave those open for visitors. That is a hard rule to love with babies who would benefit by being close to the exit, but I do get why it is there. Though I probably--rebellious one that I am--am not the biggest fan of rules for sitting at all. But I do know it is a good one.)

 

[Andres]

Beth, just talk to your pastor. I'm sure it would clear a lot of this up. You might also mention to him that not everyone can see the overhead from everywhere in the sanctuary. Being in the pulpit every Lord's Day he might not have realized this, but I'm sure he would like to know.

 

[EverReforming]

Maybe he wants the members of the congregation to hear the sermon from a different perspective? (Sorry, couldn't resist the pun.)

But seriously, as has been pointed out, talking to your pastor is the best way to clear up your concerns.

 

[he beholds]

Beth, just talk to your pastor. I'm sure it would clear a lot of this up. You might also mention to him that not everyone can see the overhead from everywhere in the sanctuary. Being in the pulpit every Lord's Day he might not have realized this, but I'm sure he would like to know.

great point--i'm guessing that he definitely does not know that there are some spots from which the overhead cannot be seen!

 

[Edward]

(The rule is we are not to sit in the back pews because they like to leave those open for visitors.

That's even more puzzling than the original post.

 

[Jack K]

(The rule is we are not to sit in the back pews because they like to leave those open for visitors.

That's even more puzzling than the original post.

Not really, depending on the church. If you're in a larger church that gets a lot of visitors, and services tend to mostly fill up, then it really does help to have easy-to-spot empty seats in the back. If a visitor has to walk all the way down front to look for a seat, that makes some people a bit uncomfortable, and the church kinda looks like it doesn't have room for new folks. When I was in a church that fit this description, we would regularly remind members to move forward and move in from the aisles. The main reason was so that visitors would feel they could find a seat easily, without wandering all the way down front or climbing over strangers.

 

[Mushroom]

Move up or back one row and you've complied w/o significant change to your son's viewing perspective. I have to sit near the front so as to not be annoyed by the number of sullen teenagers standing but too cool to join in the singing. I have teenagers. They would lose their ears if they behaved like that. But I'm probably too easily annoyed. My poor kids - what hardships must they endure!

I am confused, however. I thought it was an element of Presbyterian worship to fill the room from back to front, as though the pulpit held kryptonite. My bad.

 

[calgal]

There might be or have been issues with cliques.

 

[reaganmarsh]

Brad, the Baptists fill the room from back to front, too. They teach us the methodology in Sunday School. My two year old will have that lesson in the spring, if the teacher stays on track for the curriculum map. ;-)

 

[BertMulder]

There is a standing problem with church architecture... They should be wider, rather than deeper, so that all the pews fit in the back of the church....

 

[Grimmson]

I have a few thoughts in response to this post on the top of my head.

The first thought is how segmented with respect where people sit in relation to particular groups. A pastor could find this slightly disturbing because of the desire for more mixed interaction between various groups within the church. Requesting people to sit in another spot in the church encourages interaction with a group or family in a church that you may not necessarily interact with. The church should be seen as an interacting mixture of age, race, and married/single; this help to show the unity they all have in Christ as part of the church.

The second, which has been touched on, is so that one is not married to where you sit for the sake of visitors or other members who may get there first. It would relieve possible future tension between various people.

The third reason is in response to the large number that is likely to sit near the back; thus leaving a large amount of space in the front. Without talking to the pastor myself, he may have practical theological reason; such as the encouraged importance of listening to the sermon (not being present), the communicating of devotion to children in the service, or drawing near to Christ (the geography corresponding symbolically or in relation to affection) as they listen to the Word of God.

Without knowing your pastor I cannot really say what his reason is; therefore you should ask him and report back to us his reason. I would be interested in finding out.

---------- Post added at 12:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:39 AM ----------

To give answers to two direct questions of the orginial post:

“Is it wrong for families and individuals to sit in the same place every Sunday?”

It can be, it depends on the reason why they sit in the same spot week after week. It can turn into idolatrous tradition; because of where one is sitting is taking precedent over showing love and respect to a guest of the church or to a fellow member of that church. The seat does not belong to you, but instead by God and we are the guests that gave been invited into the family of God to worship God. Therefore we should show the same type of grace that God has bestowed on us to others.

“Should a Pastor require that you move around?”

I think this falls under the realm of pastoral wisdom, as one is sheparding/herding the flock of God. It is not to be seen as an element of the service, but instead a circumstance of the service. Elements being those things that are essential to worship and circumstance flexibly being in what matter we perform the elements as a church; instead by one established traditional way.

 

[Montanablue]

My pastor and the deacons have made seemingly unusual requests of me before that have made perfect sense when I've asked them "why?" I think they're finally catching on and being more clear on the reasoning when they ask me things! I'd imagine that he probably has a perfectly good reason, and it probably has little to do with you. Just ask him to clarify - and maybe mention that you sit where you sit because you want your children to be able to participate.

 

[JennyG]

sometimes it could be necessary to request a move, as here for eg