Message board personalit types

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RamistThomist

Puritanboard Clerk
This is from my good friend Vershal Hogan. Some of these types will not apply to members on this board, some might. Have fun...

Internet forums are only a small part of the World Wide Tantrum, but the personalities contained therein are what makes them so darn interesting.

Theology Forum Personalities

Cast of Characters: The Firebreather, Defender of the Faith, Moderate, Idiot Zealot, Youth Camp Junkie, Eschatological Newbie, The Philosopher, Resident Atheist

[b:ac28dee717]The Firebreather[/b:ac28dee717]-- This guy is right and knows that he is right. Usually involved in the Calvinism/Arminianism debate, he can be on either side. If you disagree with him on any point, including spelling, he will let you know his disapproval by calling you a heretic and then placing a generational curse on your family. These are the guys who give theologians a bad name, but if you tell them that, they'll probably question your salvation; for that matter, they question your salvation anyway, because, after all, your systematic theology isn't as flawless as theirs.
Posting: obsessive
Natural Predators: The Defender of the Faith.
Natural Prey: Anyone who disagrees with them.

[b:ac28dee717]The Defender of the Faith[/b:ac28dee717]-- This guy also knows that he is right, but he's not a jerk about it. Sometimes mistaken for The Firebreather, he is just sure of what he believes and can defend it almost perfectly. He generally has legions of fans among The Moderates who agree with him, and the ones that don't agree with him still respect him. Though he may take the title "The Defender of the Faith" on as a joke, he's humble enough to know that there's always more to learn.
Posting: 10- to 15- posts a day, though more if a debate gets interesting.
Natural Predators: None, though the Firebreather likes to think that he is.
Natural Prey: All, though sometimes he takes it upon himself to teach the Firebreather humility.

[b:ac28dee717]The Moderates[/b:ac28dee717]-- Their title does not necessarily indicate their theology; they can be hardline about any given topic, but they are civil in debate and are just as willing to take correction of constructive criticism as to give it out; they are a version of The Defender of the Faith with less studying behind them. Given time, they might metamorphose into The Defender of the Faith, but they might also de-evolve into The Idiot Zealot.
Posting: 2- to 17- posts a day, depending on their pet theology.
Natural Predators: The Firebreather
Natural Prey: The Youth Camp Junkie, The Escatalogical Newbie, The Philosopher.

[b:ac28dee717]The Idiot Zealot[/b:ac28dee717]-- This dude is basically one of The Moderates with a few strong opinions that occassionally make him look like The Firebreather. He's smart, but every once in a while he says something that makes everyone--including himself--cringe. His personal convictions are strong, and after a period of aileanating himself from everybody, he generally learns how to tame his tongue. This guy has been known to grow into the role of The Defender of the Faith after he stops running off his mouth; deep down, he knows that he's got a long way to go.
Posting: Same as The Moderates
Natural Predators: The Firebreather, The Defender of the Faith.
Natural Prey: Some types of Moderates, The Youth Camp Junkie, The Escatalogical Newbie, The Philosopher.

[b:ac28dee717]The Youth Camp Junkie[/b:ac28dee717]-- I couldn't think of a good title for this user, so I decided on this one because they seem to be products of the youth camp culture. This user wanders into the theology forum once and accuses everyone there of wasting time debating when they could be outin the world doing Evangelical Things like witnessing. She ignores the fact that most theology forum debates are how the Moderates, Idiot Zealots, and Defenders of the Faith relax. She is also known to pop into threads about things like praise music and Christian pop, and resents anyone who doesn't agree with her subjective opinion. She is a short-term Firebreather who burns out under any kind of pressure; this user is almost always a 15-year-old girl who does not understand how debate forums work.
Posting: Rare, 2- to 3- times ever.
Natural Predators: All other users except The Escatalogical Newbie.
Natural Prey: None-- does not stay long enough to work into the food chain, but takes cheap shots at the closest user before being buried in replies from all other users.

[b:ac28dee717]The Escatalogical Newbie[/b:ac28dee717]-- A kid who doesn't know what he is getting himself into, this user strides into the forum and posts something about the sad state of the world, and then asks if everyone else in the forum is as ready for the rapture as he is. He is almost garaunteed to be a 14-year-old boy, and aside from a self-proclaimed expertise in the book of "Revelation" that comes from a couple of sermons he's heard and a reading of Left Behind, agrees with The Youth Camp Junkie. He's very sure of himself, but he gets his feelings hurt and takes it as a personal attack when anyone--which is pretty much everyone--can debate better than himself or critiques his theology.
Like the Youth Camp Junkie, he does not understand how debate forums work, though after a couple of years he may make a comeback as a Moderate or Idiot Zealot.
Posting: 10- to 15- posts ever; he abandons the forum after too many people "attack" him.
Natural Predators: Everyone but the Youth Camp Junkie.
Natural Prey: The Philosopher, Preterists who usually turn around to bite him and send him yelping home.

[b:ac28dee717]The Resident Athiest[/b:ac28dee717]-- No one really knows why this guy frequents the forums; he just seems cranky. Sometimes he's an adult who can provide you with solid debate, but more often than not it's just a kid who has decided to become an athiest to make his parents angry. He is not afraid to take potshots, and he either makes debate very interesting or very annoying, depending on the topic. He has a certain symbionic relationship with The Philosopher.
Posting: Arbitrary
Natural Predators: Anyone who is not afraid to debate with an athiest.
Natural Prey: Everyone, especially the Firebreather, The Youth Camp Junkie, and the Escatalogical Newbie.

[b:ac28dee717]The Philosopher[/b:ac28dee717]-- You just can't figure out this guy; at times, he seems to be pretty solidly Christian, albeit misguided, but at others he's so humanistic you feel like you're debating with The Resident Athiest. "The Philosopher" as a title is a bit of a misnomer, because though he's well read in philosophy, he likes to mix and match unrelated and often contradictory ideas--say, Nietzsche and Thomas Aquinas--in an attempt to one-up an arguement from scripture. He's a strange mutation of the Firebreather who, instead of questioning your salvation, just accuses you of being "closed-minded."
Posting: Anywhere from obsessive to 5- to 15- posts a day.
Natural Predators: Everyone.
Natural Prey: Everyone, though he isn't a very good hunter.

[b:ac28dee717]Charlie Brown[/b:ac28dee717]-- I almost profane the work of Charles Schultz by linking it with this user, but I call him Charlie Brown because he is so wishy-washy. He's just a "yes man" for whoever debate is the strongest in any given thread. In two weeks you've seen him be a Calvinist, Arminian, open thiest, inerrantist, Jew, and pre-, post-, and a-mil, often at the same time in different threads.
Posting: Unhealthy, but not obsessive.
Natural Predators: Everyone, depending on the thread and topic.
Natural Prey: Everyone, depending on the thread and topic.

So, there you have it-- my list of theology forum personalities. I had to resist adding more (like "The Flaming Charasmatic,") or this might actually become something serious.
 
Sadly, the "Youth Camp Junkie" is the profile into which most Christian high schoolers fit. I get tired of trying to debate ANYTHING with these people, who seem to care more about non issues (drinking, smoking, dancing and other Arminian misconceptions about "the world") and Eschatology than historic Christianity and God's sovereignty. Then after reading books like Left Behind, Purpose Driven Life, Prayer of Jabez, they're "totally ready to experience God and just totally worship him." Who needs this "theology" stuff when you have your "Jesus is my homie" t-shirt, WWJD bracelet, a gold cross on your necklace, and any other Christian clutter which is now sold at "Lifeway." Don't forget to check with your accountability partner and pray seeking God's will for your next lunch destination. Also remember to "witness" to everyone along the way with creepy statements like "Are you washed in the blood?"


Good post, by the way. It's funny because it's true...
 
Our on campus ministry (think youth camp junkie) did a message last week, "How to hear God." :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: trust me, very little would have had to do with special revelation
 
I think I am closely related to the "The Youth Camp Junkie" and "The Escatalogical Newbie" although the very fact I cracked up laughing while reading what they are like probably means I disagree with them and am able to be taught. I certainly have not educated myself with the Left Behind series or anything like that but my old youth group is seriously like this. Maybe I don't fit into the groupings completely as I never really fitted theologically into my youth group either. Maybe I am a Moderate...

About [quote:485048c9cf]who seem to care more about non issues (drinking, smoking, dancing and other Arminian misconceptions about "the world") and Eschatology than historic Christianity and God's sovereignty.[/quote:485048c9cf]
I do think there is a rather large place, especially among youth for the topics of drinking, smoking...etc although I think they have become too carried away in places and never get off the topics. It is like people can't think for themselves anymore. I remember the youth leaders asking what topics people most wanted to study and we pretty much instantly came up with 'sex and drugs' and no one could think of anything else. I believe still these are important issues considering the state of my country at least (I am not sure about America) Just last weekend I had two friends get into fights and that wasn't too fun for them. At the same time instead of just telling youth to avoid these things I think the church should take further action than just that and help do something else about it. In conclusion I would like theology, Church History and God's sovereignty taught a lot more to youth.
 
[quote:3344bebbed="Authorised"]Sadly, the "Youth Camp Junkie" is the profile into which most Christian high schoolers fit. I get tired of trying to debate ANYTHING with these people, who seem to care more about non issues (drinking, smoking, dancing and other Arminian misconceptions about "the world") and Eschatology than historic Christianity and God's sovereignty. Then after reading books like Left Behind, Purpose Driven Life, Prayer of Jabez, they're "totally ready to experience God and just totally worship him." Who needs this "theology" stuff when you have your "Jesus is my homie" t-shirt, WWJD bracelet, a gold cross on your necklace, and any other Christian clutter which is now sold at "Lifeway." Don't forget to check with your accountability partner and pray seeking God's will for your next lunch destination. Also remember to "witness" to everyone along the way with creepy statements like "Are you washed in the blood?"


Good post, by the way. It's funny because it's true...[/quote:3344bebbed]

:lol: ...Too funny. "Like, let's just have some praise."
 
Thanks Jacob for posting that. If it originated with your friend then he is a genius. Great stuff indeed. A list for this board would have to include those who spiritualize cigar chewing and brew guzzling.

Bob
(a moderate defender of the faith, pseudo-intellectual and sanctified brew guzzler.)
 
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