Brother, first thank you for being bravely vulnerable so that the saints can support you. I concur with all the advice above (and look forward to reading the suggested link to John Owen's work).
I was planning to especially share this post with you tonight after I preached the last section on Matthew 6, "Take No Thoughts ... Instead, Behold, Consider, Seek", which I will entitle "Keep Changing the Way You Think", but my son got very sick overnight and I had to stay home today to care for him and the church backed me up with video sermons (he's beginning to do better: stomach bug). I thought it best to share the rest on my heart to offer you in the mean time per above, and I will post a link to that sermon after I preach it next week, Lord-willing. But here are two sermons related to it that will set it up and might also be helpful in the mean time:
"Focus On Your Father", an introduction to Matthew 6:19-34 in the Sermon on the Mount.
"Let Home Be Where Your Heart Is", Matthew 6:19-24.
I have often said over the last two years of our family and church's difficult providence that Christ's command not to worry about tomorrow is a most merciful one and sometimes the only way I pull off tackling anxiety and getting peace (simply because I must obey I can leave it be with that).
Related to the above, we just began a Wednesday Night study through
Thomas Watson's, The Art of Divine Contentment that is very much intended to help us through what you are expressing. I highly recommend reading the book.
Here is a link to the series of our audio lectures based on Watson's book we just began two weeks ago.
I also am doing a weekly e-devotion with supplemental readings to Watson's book (cliff-notes, if you will) from
Jeremiah Burroughs', The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment that I also highly recommend you get (which I began reading while preaching on the 10th Commandment a while back with a WLC series and said to church friends, "This book is going to change my life.").
Here is where I offer the e-devotions series re: Burroughs' work on contentment publicly on the church's website as our "Pastor's Posts". Watson's book I advise starting with as it is pastorally pithier than Burroughs' (in my humble opinion).
As my family and church have had to get through a very painful trial together, we've been spending a lot of time on this need for contentment in the midst of heavy storms by guiding our emotions by controlling our thinking in subjection to King Jesus. So I also offer the following resources that have come out of serving our own needs dealing with melancholy and the need to steer our thinking as potential encouragement for you (the impetus also for our Wednesday study with Watson per above):
"We Carry Heavy Burdens, But for Christ We Carry On", sermon on 2 Corinthians 4:7-10.
"Hold On Through the Hurt by Hoping in God", sermon on Psalm 42:5 (note the refrain of verse 5 in verse 11 and again in the fifth verse of the next Psalm:
Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance).
"Faith is Not a Feeling", sermon on Hebrews 11:1-12:13.
"Take Yourself Up to the Rock", sermon on Psalm 61:2.
Lastly, this Pastor's Post shares wisdom from Christiana's lesson in
Pilgrim's Progress, Book II:
Melodious Companionship through Melancholy.
May Christ the Lord grant you more of His peace and abundant life that is not of this world but that passes all our understanding, and may He help you learn Paul's lesson in all things and in every state.