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Miriam was the chief instigator, v.1 "And Miriam and Aaron, [she] spake against Moses." Hence she is the one who is judged harshly, v. 10. But as Robertson says,Numbers 12:2-9, ASV 1901
And they said, "Hath Jehovah indeed spoken only with Moses? Hath he not spoken also with us?" And Jehovah heard it. Now the man Moses was very meek, above all men that were upon the face of the earth.
And Jehovah spake suddenly unto Moses, and unto Aaron, and unto Miriam, "Come out ye three unto the tent of meeting." And they three came out. And Jehovah came down in a pillar of cloud, and stood at the door of the Tent, and called Aaron and Miriam; and they both came forth. And he said, "Hear now my words: if there be a prophet among you, I Jehovah will make myself known unto him in a vision, I will speak with him in a dream. My servant Moses is not so; he is faithful in all my house: with him will I speak mouth to mouth, even manifestly, and not in dark speeches; and the form of Jehovah shall he behold: wherefore then were ye not afraid to speak against my servant, against Moses?"
And the anger of Jehovah was kindled against them; and he departed.
God alone will determine who shall speak for him, and where, how, and by whom he procaim his Word.In the end, the objection against Moses' marriage seems to be a pretense.... By criticizing his marriage, they attempt to bring Moses down so that they can exalt themselves to a position of greater prominence.
"The insatiability of the human spirit for position and power becaomes even more apparent when it is realized that envy burns in the souls of Miriam and Aaron even though they both have their own positions of prominence.... In fact, later scripture indicates that both Aaron and Miriam were of critical importance in God's salvation of Israel. They were sent along with Moses to lead the nation (Mic. 6:4). Aaron and Miriam should have been humbled because of their privilege of being the instruments of God's revelation. But only Moses manifests the kind of humility that they should have displayed.
(pp 34-35).