I found these words from Durham's commentary on Revelation to be quite a tonic. There is a place for unlimited patience, and there is a place for absolute intolerance. The answer is not balance, as though it were a question of adjusting ingredients, but for each to work in its own proper sphere.
The call for meekness and gentleness does not mean giving quarter to false teaching or false teachers; and the requirement for militancy in no way mitigates our calling to be patient, gentle, and humble under the greatest provocations.
Patience in suffering and impatience against corruptions and corrupt men can well stand together. This people is said to bear and suffer; and yet it’s said they could not bear. The reason is, because their patient suffering, or bearing, in the one word relates to their enduring of crosses; and their not bearing, or suffering, in the other word relates to the corrupt men and their zeal against them. It were a good thing to knit these two together, not to let our zeal wear away our patience, nor our patience prejudge our zeal. There is a kind of zeal, that puts folks always to do to the end they may shun suffering, that is not good; and there is a sort of patience and meekness that wants zeal and sharpness in reference to the purging of Christ’s house—a patience that can bear with ill men: and this is no more to be commended than the former. This angel is commended that he eschewed both, and had both patience and zeal in exercise, running in their right channel, and put forth toward their right objects. And would God these were more seen and discernible in our practice: the one would make our zeal to shine, and the other would make our patience and humility praise-worthy. And if they be not joined, our zeal shall be carnal; and our patience, lukewarm: and neither of these will be commended of Christ.
The call for meekness and gentleness does not mean giving quarter to false teaching or false teachers; and the requirement for militancy in no way mitigates our calling to be patient, gentle, and humble under the greatest provocations.