brandonadams
Puritan Board Sophomore
Brothers and Sisters,
I could really use some help with an important issue. My sister adopted two children from Haiti several years ago. They are 4 years old now. Due to problems with the process, she wasn't able to get them out until they were a year old. She went down to visit them several times during that year, and each visit, she could see the babies getting worse. They seem to have developed what is called Reactive Attachment Disorder:
Reactive attachment disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Now, I am strongly opposed to psychotherapy. I agree with and have appreciated much of the work that the Bobgans have done in showing the problems and incompatibility of psychotherapy and Christianity. I believe there are significant and obvious problems with the assessment and labeling of RAD.
That being sad, my niece and nephew do manifest the symptoms of RAD. Not being a parent myself, it's hard for me to be wise in this situation. I would much sooner account the behavior to the depravity of man, to the fact that they are little vipers in diapers, than to say it is the result of how they were treated as an infant.
My sister is slowly coming to understand Reformed theology, and she has a desire to learn more, so she is open to correction about all of this and she is open to bringing her view of the issue into alignment with Scripture.
Now, part of the problem is that RAD theorists/practitioners claim that the diagnosis is so difficult and that the actual symptoms manifest themselves in the fact that the children are highly manipulative and deceptive, that no one but the parent can truly recognize it. The result is that parents become very defensive and resistant to any attempts to disprove the theory or explain the behavior in any other way.
There is a Christian woman who has made it her life's work to be a RAD therapist and to help parents with an issue that on one else can supposedly understand. Much of the therapy is called "attachment therapy" and is highly controversial. She has "camps" for RAD kids where they bring in specialists to deal with them. The camps are very expensive. My sister has gotten to the point where she feels it is necessary to send them to this camp and in order to do so, she is taking money out of their college savings. That's how serious the issue is.
To get a better idea of what I am talking about and dealing with, you can read the woman's (Nancy Thomas) letter that parents of RAD kids are supposed to give their teachers:
Teacher Resources | Letter For Teachers | Nancy Thomas Parenting | Attachment.org
Here is a sampling:
I contacted Nancy Thomas to ask for references for her claims. Her assistant replied:
As for the Hitler claim, the best I could find was this ridiculous article that claims the Holocaust was the result of Hitler being spanked as a child.
Adolf Hitler: How Could a Monster Succeed in Blinding a Nation? - The Natural Child Project
So anyways, I am looking for any help that anyone can give me. If anyone is familiar with RAD, please let me know. Other than that, I would really appreciate even just some testimonials of childrearing that I can share with my sister to let her know her children are not incurable monsters, that other parents struggle with discipline. And I do have to note that I think it is worse than just typical child behavior.
I would also appreciate the best material available on what the Bible has to say about child-rearing.
Thank you,
I could really use some help with an important issue. My sister adopted two children from Haiti several years ago. They are 4 years old now. Due to problems with the process, she wasn't able to get them out until they were a year old. She went down to visit them several times during that year, and each visit, she could see the babies getting worse. They seem to have developed what is called Reactive Attachment Disorder:
RAD is characterized by markedly disturbed and developmentally inappropriate ways of relating socially in most contexts. It can take the form of a persistent failure to initiate or respond to most social interactions in a developmentally appropriate way—known as the \"inhibited\" form—or can present itself as indiscriminate sociability, such as excessive familiarity with relative strangers—known as the \"disinhibited form\".
RAD arises from a failure to form normal attachments to primary caregivers in early childhood. Such a failure could result from severe early experiences of neglect, abuse, abrupt separation from caregivers between the ages of six months and three years, frequent change of caregivers, or a lack of caregiver responsiveness to a child's communicative efforts.
Reactive attachment disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Now, I am strongly opposed to psychotherapy. I agree with and have appreciated much of the work that the Bobgans have done in showing the problems and incompatibility of psychotherapy and Christianity. I believe there are significant and obvious problems with the assessment and labeling of RAD.
That being sad, my niece and nephew do manifest the symptoms of RAD. Not being a parent myself, it's hard for me to be wise in this situation. I would much sooner account the behavior to the depravity of man, to the fact that they are little vipers in diapers, than to say it is the result of how they were treated as an infant.
My sister is slowly coming to understand Reformed theology, and she has a desire to learn more, so she is open to correction about all of this and she is open to bringing her view of the issue into alignment with Scripture.
Now, part of the problem is that RAD theorists/practitioners claim that the diagnosis is so difficult and that the actual symptoms manifest themselves in the fact that the children are highly manipulative and deceptive, that no one but the parent can truly recognize it. The result is that parents become very defensive and resistant to any attempts to disprove the theory or explain the behavior in any other way.
There is a Christian woman who has made it her life's work to be a RAD therapist and to help parents with an issue that on one else can supposedly understand. Much of the therapy is called "attachment therapy" and is highly controversial. She has "camps" for RAD kids where they bring in specialists to deal with them. The camps are very expensive. My sister has gotten to the point where she feels it is necessary to send them to this camp and in order to do so, she is taking money out of their college savings. That's how serious the issue is.
To get a better idea of what I am talking about and dealing with, you can read the woman's (Nancy Thomas) letter that parents of RAD kids are supposed to give their teachers:
Teacher Resources | Letter For Teachers | Nancy Thomas Parenting | Attachment.org
Here is a sampling:
RAD children are often involved in the Juvenile Justice System as they get older. Left untreated, such children can maim, kill and torture without conscience or feeling. They can start fires, kill pets and terrorize their families. It has been said that untreated RAD children grew up to be such persons as Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, Adolph Hitler, the teenagers who shot up Columbine High. They feel no remorse, have no conscience and see no relation between their actions and what happens as a result because they never connected with or relied upon another human being in trust their entire lives.
I contacted Nancy Thomas to ask for references for her claims. Her assistant replied:
Nancy says that Dr. Ken Magid wrote a book in the late 1980's, \"High-Risk
Children without a Conscience.\" When the book came out he was interviewed
often. Either the Denver Post or the Rocky Mountain News did an article
on him. This is where she got her information. Also, the students who
did the shooting at Columbine were laughing while they were shooting.
That is why she says they did not have a conscience.
Hope this helps.
As for the Hitler claim, the best I could find was this ridiculous article that claims the Holocaust was the result of Hitler being spanked as a child.
Adolf Hitler: How Could a Monster Succeed in Blinding a Nation? - The Natural Child Project
Like every other child, Hitler was born innocent, only to be raised, as were many children at the time, in a destructive fashion by his parents and later to make himself into a monster. He was the survivor of a machinery of annihilation that in turn-of-the-century Germany was called \"child-rearing\" and that I call \"the concealed concentration camp of childhood,\" which is never allowed to be recognized for what it is.
So anyways, I am looking for any help that anyone can give me. If anyone is familiar with RAD, please let me know. Other than that, I would really appreciate even just some testimonials of childrearing that I can share with my sister to let her know her children are not incurable monsters, that other parents struggle with discipline. And I do have to note that I think it is worse than just typical child behavior.
I would also appreciate the best material available on what the Bible has to say about child-rearing.
Thank you,