Caroline
Puritan Board Sophomore
Well, again... it depends on the couple. As far as my husband and I are concerned, however, we work together on these things. People may like that or not like that, but it is our relationship. My husband and I don't build our marriage around the opinions of other people. If they don't like it, they can choose someone else for these church leadership offices. If they are too uncomfortable around me, then I will find other friends.
I don't think it is a gossipy desire to know (I purposely avoid asking my pastor things that might compromise confidentiality about other people if he answered them), but it is just the way my marriage is. That doesn't mean everyone's marriage has to be that way, but some definitely are.
I do think that it is often wise for officers to talk to spouses about some things (how much depends on the particular people involved and the nature of the relationship). Pastors are expected to offer counsel to women and to manage the education of children in Sunday school. Sometimes it can be really helpful to have a female perspective on these things. Even in matters of budgets and so on, it is good to have the input of the women. Otherwise, men's programs tend to get the bulk of the money and women get very little, because the men have no idea what the women would like to do.
However it happens, there needs to be some communication.
I don't think it is a gossipy desire to know (I purposely avoid asking my pastor things that might compromise confidentiality about other people if he answered them), but it is just the way my marriage is. That doesn't mean everyone's marriage has to be that way, but some definitely are.
I do think that it is often wise for officers to talk to spouses about some things (how much depends on the particular people involved and the nature of the relationship). Pastors are expected to offer counsel to women and to manage the education of children in Sunday school. Sometimes it can be really helpful to have a female perspective on these things. Even in matters of budgets and so on, it is good to have the input of the women. Otherwise, men's programs tend to get the bulk of the money and women get very little, because the men have no idea what the women would like to do.
However it happens, there needs to be some communication.
