To Whom do I Repent First?

[smhbbag]

We know in Matthew 5:23-24, we are to be reconciled and in good fellowship with our brothers before we worship God with them.

Does the same order apply if we're not about to enter worship?

Example: Tonight, I was inconsiderate to my wife and was concerned with myself more than her in a situation. As God convicted me of this, I went to be alone and repent with God, then apologized and reconciled with her.

Should I instead have gone to her first, and then to God?

 

[dcomin]

I don't think there is a hard and fast rule for this, Jeremy... but it seems to me that you did things in the right order. Taking the matter to God in prayer no doubt prepared your heart to express your repentance better to your wife. Praise God for the grace to be sensitive to the Spirit's conviction and to follow through with genuine repentance!

 

[CalvinandHodges]

I don't think there is a hard and fast rule for this, Jeremy... but it seems to me that you did things in the right order. Taking the matter to God in prayer no doubt prepared your heart to express your repentance better to your wife. Praise God for the grace to be sensitive to the Spirit's conviction and to follow through with genuine repentance!

agreed

 

[Semper Fidelis]

I agree that an order of repenting is not necessarily needed. I do think that, many times, in the break of an argument, while both husband and wife are still stewing, it's not a bad idea to pray instead of "going to corners".

I say this because prayer has a way of stripping your bare and revealing the sin that is in your heart and it is impossible for me to remain angry with my wife over slights when I'm praying to God before her.

 

[BJClark]

smhbbag;

Should I instead have gone to her first, and then to God?

I think you handled this correctly, there have been many times my husband and I have argued and I have walked away angry and just having that tension between us takes me to my knees..where God deals with me..so that I can go back and apologize..

I despise tension between us, but sometimes I need that time alone with God to get my heart right first, so that when I go back to the conversation, I can do so with a humble heart...and we can then discuss things and come to a win-win solution.

 

[BobVigneault]

I agree with the group that there is no real order in to whom we ought to repent first.

There is a contrast of behaviors that we see between Kings David and Saul and a principle that comes out of observing the contrast. You acted in accordance with this principle but I'll mention it anyway.

First read Sauls admission of sin in 1 Sam 15:24

Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice. 25 Now therefore, please pardon my sin and return with me that I may worship the Lord.

Now read David's cry for forgiveness in Psalm 51

Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.

Both men admitted sin but it was only David who realized that his sin was first and foremost against God; Saul only saw his own mistake and it's immediate consequenses. This is why that, regardless of the fact that both men sinned, David could be called a man after God's own heart.

We should all remember this - though we should ask forgiveness of whomever we wrong and make restitution when possible, that our sin is first against God and there can be no true forgiveness until we confess to Him.

 

[gwine]

Mat 5:23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,
Mat 5:24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

I realize that this may not be quite the same situation but I am wondering if these verses suggest an order.