Understanding Membership Vows

[bigsisfarmer]

In recent times, my husband and I have been in discussions with the elders of our church for a separate issue. Through this, based on the reaction we received, we determined to worship at a different church until this could be resolved. We informed our eldership of this, and have been attending a local PCA church. To be clear, the issue we were discussing was not a matter of our family being under any discipline.

Recently my husband and I were called for a meeting in which we were told that we were breaking our membership vows. Particularly this part:

"Do you promise to participate faithfully in this church's worship and service, to submit in the Lord to its government, and to heed its discipline, even in case you should be found delinquent in doctrine or life?"

The sum of their argument is that we took vows for this particular congregation/denomination. If we were not attending, even for a short period of time, we were in sin for breaking the vows we took before God.

If it helps, I never actually took vows (my membership was added when I got married), and my husband was 15 or so when he took his. So we definitely were not aware of this obligation.

I do not have a problem with membership vows in general, but I am asking if this particular aspect of the vow is biblical? Or if it's been taken in a wrong way by our eldership?

We asked them if there was any biblical basis for this, and they could not answer.

 

[Edward]

The parallel PCA vows are
-Do you promise to support the church in its worship and work to the best of your ability?
-Do you submit yourselves to the government and discipline of the church, and promise to study its purity and peace?

From what you have said, I don't find the position of the church leadership on membership vows unreasonable. I don't understand what part of that you have an issue with. Do you question church discipline? Do you think the Lord has not appointed elders to rule over the church? Do you think one has no duty to attend worship and financially support their local church to the best of their ability?

If you think that the church leadership is out of account with scripture on the root issue, Presbyterians have process for raising and dealing with that. And if you are out of accord with the denomination, then departure may be needed. But that isn't the question here.

I do question the "membership by marriage' idea. That does suggest a patriarchalism I would have problems with.

Edit to add - looked at the denominational affiliation 2 US congregations and one in the former Dutch Guiana - I always have concerns about micro denominations so I'm not sure how well process would work in that context. Sometimes there is a reason other than regional demographics that small churches are small.

 

[bigsisfarmer]

The parallel PCA vows are
-Do you promise to support the church in its worship and work to the best of your ability?
-Do you submit yourselves to the government and discipline of the church, and promise to study its purity and peace?

From what you have said, I don't find the position of the church leadership on membership vows unreasonable. I don't understand what part of that you have an issue with. Do you question church discipline? Do you think the Lord has not appointed elders to rule over the church? Do you think one has no duty to attend worship and financially support their local church to the best of their ability?

If you think that the church leadership is out of account with scripture on the root issue, Presbyterians have process for raising and dealing with that. And if you are out of accord with the denomination, then departure may be needed. But that isn't the question here.

I do question the "membership by marriage' idea. That does suggest a patriarchalism I would have problems with.

It sounds like my questions were misunderstood, so I'll try to rephrase and go into more detail.

I do not question church discipline when administered biblically. I am not sure if this is a biblical administration of discipline in this particular case.

The Lord has appointed Elders to rule over the church, but I am not sure if this is an overreach on the Eldership's part. To put it frankly, to bar your members from even visiting another church seems to be an overreach for me. To accuse us of actively sinning by attending another congregation seems very strange.

We should attend to the best of our ability, but if there was a reason barring our ability to worship, then there should be no issue in us attending another church until the issue can be resolved.

The core issue is a complicated matter. It was questions we brought up (respectfully) and were met with dismissal, hostility, and accusations of creating division. When we brought up how we felt we weren't being shepherded, the hostility we encountered was extreme. This is why we determined to worship somewhere else as we continued to seek resolution with our eldership. We clearly communicated this.

We are unsure how that could be taken as breaking a vow before God and a covenant between the church. We are unsure if a vow of the nature is even biblical.

I hope that helped to clarify...feel free to ask questions.

Side note - through this we realized that the church is very patriarchal in action (as anything I said was completely ignored). However, I do think the reason why I was simply added to membership was because the elders didn't want to take the time to go through the vow taking process. That seems to be a recurring issue looking back at our time at this church.

 

[paranymph]

Without knowing the situation, the 2LCF 26.13 says

No church members, upon any offence taken by them, having performed their duty required of them towards the person they are offended at, ought to disturb any church-order, or absent themselves from the assemblies of the church, or administration of any ordinances, upon the account of such offence at any of their fellow members, but to wait upon Christ, in the further proceeding of the church.

They cite Matt 18:15–17, the process of discipline, and Eph 4:2–3, bearing with one another patiently.

This may help:

19. Resolving Conflict in 2LCF 26.13 | SermonAudio

John Giarrizzo | Gilbert, Arizona

www.sermonaudio.com

 

[bigsisfarmer]

Without knowing the situation, the 2LCF 26.13 says


They cite Matt 18:15–17, the process of discipline, and Eph 4:2–3, bearing with one another patiently.

This may help:

19. Resolving Conflict in 2LCF 26.13 | SermonAudio

John Giarrizzo | Gilbert, Arizona

www.sermonaudio.com

Thank you, this really helps.