CatherineL
Puritan Board Freshman
When do you / your wife go back to regular church attendance after a new baby?
When to go back to church after a new baby?
- Thread starter CatherineL
- Start date
- Status
Marrow Man
Drunk with Powder
We probably aren't the best ones to ask, since our new baby stayed in the NICU a month before coming home. And even then she was rather fragile, and Anna didn't bring her to church for a few more weeks (we were specifically told not to have her in large groups of people until March at the earliest because of her susceptibility to a particular disease). We did try having me call home via cell phone at the beginning of the service so mom and baby could worship at home. I think we did this for two weeks. The following week, Anna brought Grace to the church kitchen (where there is a PA speaker coming from the sanctuary) so that both of them could get used getting ready, sitting an hour + together, etc. Then the following week, Anna brought Grace to the service itself -- this was also the service where Grace was baptized.
Ideally, we would have had Grace in the service, though, as soon as it was possible.
Ideally, we would have had Grace in the service, though, as soon as it was possible.
he beholds
Puritan Board Doctor
With our first and second, we all went when they were about a week and a half (had to check my baby calendars to see). With our third, we waited until he was a month old, but that was largely due to being snowed in! It was also harder to conceptualize trying to have all three kids with us in the pew, so I think we were intimidated.
However, I definitely miss more church as a mommy to little ones than I did even as a college student : (
(No offense, and good job, to those college students who attend faithfully!)
However, I definitely miss more church as a mommy to little ones than I did even as a college student : (
(No offense, and good job, to those college students who attend faithfully!)
SolaScriptura
Puritanboard Brimstone
Catherine -
People are different. Some have (in my opinion) pretty weak constitutions and have a pretty low threshold for discomfort before they consider themselves to be "miserable."
My wife for years expressed frustration, but now she has either learned or she has adapted, but unless you have a significant fever or are throwing up or something like that, then you go to church... being tired because you had a bout of insomnia? Deal with it. Have a bad headache? Take some ibuprofen. Etc.
So when it comes to returning to church after delivering, my expectation for my wife is: As soon as you can get to, and then sit through, the service without causing something to rip, tear, bleed, etc., in the process. And when do I have a good idea of when that is? As soon as I notice that she's able to sit in one place for an extended amount of time, or walk around with ease, or go somewhere - anywhere - in the car without discomfort to the degree that she has noticable difficulty.
People are different. Some have (in my opinion) pretty weak constitutions and have a pretty low threshold for discomfort before they consider themselves to be "miserable."
My wife for years expressed frustration, but now she has either learned or she has adapted, but unless you have a significant fever or are throwing up or something like that, then you go to church... being tired because you had a bout of insomnia? Deal with it. Have a bad headache? Take some ibuprofen. Etc.
So when it comes to returning to church after delivering, my expectation for my wife is: As soon as you can get to, and then sit through, the service without causing something to rip, tear, bleed, etc., in the process. And when do I have a good idea of when that is? As soon as I notice that she's able to sit in one place for an extended amount of time, or walk around with ease, or go somewhere - anywhere - in the car without discomfort to the degree that she has noticable difficulty.
DMcFadden
Puritanboard Commissioner
Our first was back in the dark ages and the ped doc said wait 6 wks to go out in public. By our third, my wife was in the choir (sorry folks, it was an evangelical Baptist church) the next Sunday. She was back in church the next Sunday after our fourth and fifth as well.
I waited about three weeks. I also held the baby the whole time as I recall.
Over the years I have talked to numerous parents whose kids got sick from being in the nursery on a regular basis. I have come to the conclusion that no matter what guidelines are issued, even in writing and even marked on the door on a big poster, little darling with snot running down like this gulf oil gusher will be in there. Fevers will be in there. Many parents will not keep their sick kids out of the crowd, and church authority will not enforce even the most basic guidelines.
Do I sound cynical? I would call it brutal reality. Depending on your situation you can stay home 2 weeks, or from November to May. If you can hold the baby the whole time, try and do so.
Over the years I have talked to numerous parents whose kids got sick from being in the nursery on a regular basis. I have come to the conclusion that no matter what guidelines are issued, even in writing and even marked on the door on a big poster, little darling with snot running down like this gulf oil gusher will be in there. Fevers will be in there. Many parents will not keep their sick kids out of the crowd, and church authority will not enforce even the most basic guidelines.
Do I sound cynical? I would call it brutal reality. Depending on your situation you can stay home 2 weeks, or from November to May. If you can hold the baby the whole time, try and do so.
CatherineL
Puritan Board Freshman
Since we are on our fourth, my husband has wanted us to stay home a bit. Our older 3 are pretty well trained to sit in the service, but we're used to a tag-team operation since they still need some correction (especially our 2 and 3 year olds). I've missed three weeks since I had Jack late Saturday night, and I'm missing church. An older lady at our church told me she didn't like to see new moms until at least a month, so I was curious what most people do.
Btw, we have no nursery at church so that makes things simpler (avoiding the snot gushers) but also more intense in a way - its just us with the kids, no back up even for the older ones.
I'm all out of thanks - thanks for the input everyone!
Btw, we have no nursery at church so that makes things simpler (avoiding the snot gushers) but also more intense in a way - its just us with the kids, no back up even for the older ones.
I'm all out of thanks - thanks for the input everyone!
)
Scottish Lass
Puritan Board Doctor
If a baby is born in the winter during RSV season (the virus Tim couldn't remember above), my medical friends recommend keeping baby home for 4-6 weeks or until the first of April, whichever comes first. Babies that are especially susceptible (though all winter babies are at risk) include preemies, those with lower birth weight, those with any respiratory issues, multiples, and siblings of those who have had RSV.
RSV in adults and older kids isn't much more than a cold; most don't even know they have it, but it wreaks havoc on an infant and can be fatal. You know those kids/people who get every respiratory bug every year, plus allergies? Many of them likely had RSV as children, and that's the long-term effect. We were especially careful with Grace since our insurance denied the last in the series of shots to help prevent RSV.
About RSV
RSV in adults and older kids isn't much more than a cold; most don't even know they have it, but it wreaks havoc on an infant and can be fatal. You know those kids/people who get every respiratory bug every year, plus allergies? Many of them likely had RSV as children, and that's the long-term effect. We were especially careful with Grace since our insurance denied the last in the series of shots to help prevent RSV.
About RSV
LAmom
Puritan Board Freshman
I'd say it is completely up to the mom and how she feels with healing, nursing, etc. I personally have only waited to the following Lord's Day (given, for 2 of my kids I was still in the hospital). I never made anyone use hand sanitizer, wash their hands, or not allow them to hold my babies. My four have survived! I say do what your instincts tell you. A recent mom I know that had twins withheld coming for awhile since they were preemies and seemed to be catching colds easily. She did what was best for her babies in her mind. I understand juggling 4 kids, it was harder with my 4th since my husband is the pastor and I do it alone. Nursery was started quickly for me to help with my 2yo!!
toddpedlar
Iron Dramatist
As has been noted previously, mileage varies. We never missed more than one Sunday - I think the minimum was 4 days and the most might have been 10. On the two that my wife and the baby missed a week, I took the others so that my wife had the time at home without disturbance. I really don't see a whole lot of reason to miss out more than a couple weeks unless the labor was complicated and the mom needs a significant time to heal.
Our practice has been to stay on our normal attendance schedule unless there's a medical reason preventing it. We look forward to attending Church, and wouldn't want to give it up just because there's a new baby in the family. That's worked for our first eight so far.
OTOH, if a woman believes herself not to be up to attending immediately after having a baby due to the difficulty of her labor or some post-delivery complications, we wouldn't presume to be in a position to dispute that judgment, so long as it's consistent with how she treats other similar activities.
OTOH, if a woman believes herself not to be up to attending immediately after having a baby due to the difficulty of her labor or some post-delivery complications, we wouldn't presume to be in a position to dispute that judgment, so long as it's consistent with how she treats other similar activities.
Romans922
Puritan Board Professor
As soon as possible. It is different for every woman, but whenever she is feeling strong enough to go. Shouldn't put off worshipping with God's people for any unnecessary reason. If she feels a little bit weak but strong enough to go, I would encourage her to go. Although, it is the family's husband's decision.
My son was born on May 6th, he went for the first time May 24th and was baptized that morning.
My son was born on May 6th, he went for the first time May 24th and was baptized that morning.
- Status
Similar threads
