Though not specifically Puritan works, for possible help I humbly offer the following as what has helped me and my four homeschooled covenant children (and our church) continue to slowly work through the loss of our Proverb 31 woman a little more than six months ago:
Heaven, by Randy Alcorn. I had been thinking about posting on this thread and after getting compassionate counsel from a friend and minister in the PRCA yesterday, he mentioned he has read this book and says it is well worth the read. He and I both agree there are important disclaimers/corrections to give (as I do with my children along the way). It is a huge book (about 500 pages) and sometimes we wonder if it could have been done in half the space as there is a lot of overlap, but we often find in family worship when we use it (we're not terribly far from being half way through) that there are tremendous nuggets that provide incredible hope and healing, some of which I've reflected in my preaching to the saints' great benefit, and so we still continue reading it. I found this book at a Goodwill Store just before we left for a family healing sabbatical respite for a month in the mountains not long after we buried our helpmeet. We began studying it to govern our thoughts and emotions and increase our faith to walk by it and not by sight (the context of that verse has also been helpful) and it continues to be a tremendous encouragement to us, also reminding us to ultimately be thinking of the New Heaven and Earth and the Resurrection as our main focus on heaven, a helpful one (still, his section on the "Present Heaven" early on was of great use). After my minister friend said he had already read the whole thing and noting there isn't much out there on heaven (and he is well-read in the Puritans) and said it is well worth the read, I thought I should make this post. The book, while sometimes quoting some I would have suggested to refrain from so doing, does share insights from the Puritans.
Grieving, Hope and Solace: When a Loved One Dies in Christ, by Albert N. Martin. My friend mentioned above was not familiar with the book but was very familiar with the minister and was eager to get the book. I also waited on posting to this thread until I had read it (just did this week). It was very helpful for me to identify with this man as a minister who watched his wife die and how it effected him including in how he handled it from the pulpit. But it is written for a wide audience, not just those grieving the death of a loved one. I read this not long after six months of our loss, and it seemed like it was a very good summary of all we had worked through with Scriptures and practical nuggets (felt like a confirmation and an affirmation). I am likely to get a number of copies of this for pastoral work and just as a friend for those who lose a loved one in the Lord (but it also has a good witness in it to those one might give it to who may not be Christians and whose lost loved one may not have been, so it's good for evangelism too). Very helpful. I am thankful to have learned of it from a man who visited our church while in America who is with the FPCS. He saw an ad for it and thought of me and my family and recommended it (very kind and compassionate; he also lost his mother at age 15). One nugget I appreciated that he shared from his wife anticipating her death was she referred to their burial plots they bought (as they were facing what was likely coming) as their "Resurrection Beds".
Westminster Larger Catechism Q&A 86. This has been the most help to me and my family, as it has been for me to minister for the funerals of saints for their families in our church. Certainly a Puritan source and undoubtedly consulted, but let me just say from my own experience nothing has helped me more facing deaths. So very pastoral for comforting the grieving as well as guiding the ailing. Let me list it here for convenient reference:
What is the communion in glory with Christ, which the members of the invisible church enjoy immediately after death? A. The communion in glory with Christ, which the members of the invisible church enjoy immediately after death, is, in that their souls are then made perfect in holiness, and received into the highest heavens, where they behold the face of God in light and glory, waiting for the full redemption of their bodies, which even in death continue united to Christ, and rest in their graves as in their beds, till at the last day they be again united to their souls ...
My own imperfect works facing and enduring our helpmeet's death (including recently paying our first respects with flowers at her grave site since burying her six months to the date she went to glory after they finally got the headstone placed--a long story):
A series of sermons, "Jennifer Van Leuven". Often very raw working through various heartaches with the loss of the church's "first lady". See especially, "Keep Hoping in Heaven", with the Scripture on my wife's gravestone, Psalm 73:24, and "Keep on Running to the Cheers of Heaven", which reflects polished insights on Hebrews 11 from Randy Alcorn's book mentioned above. It also includes my wife's graveside burial service (we did not have a funeral service).
"A Devotion on Death: Facing Death and Cancer". A repose during a Wednesday Night lecture series through The Revelation during which time my wife was diagnosed with what proved to be Stage IV Colon Cancer that had spread to her liver with six tumors by the time we found out (she was 35 at the time and our fourth covenant child was not yet a year old). It was based on Revelation 21:4. During the message, we stopped and listened to a message by RC Sproul Jr about losing his wife to cancer. We did not include his message in our online message but we do provide the link to go listen to it: it too is a helpful resource.
"Eternal Life with God: You Can Only Imagine!". Also during The Revelation lecture series during which time our hearts were heavy over what would happen to our wife and mother and sister in the Lord (and thus to us). Thankfully, the Lord provided a few more years from that time with us so she could see her youngest brother marry and hear her youngest son say "Mamma" and many more words. We didn't know at the time if we would get these gifts, for which we are thankful.
Though not as directly related, also during and recently after our situation with my wife, the following very much overlap and have proved helpful recall for us:
Sermon Series through Psalm 23. For my youngest daughter during a transitional period of "Special Requests" by the congregation for Scriptures to be preached. The link begins where the series begins (within the larger series named above). There is much within on walking through the valley of the shadow of death with the benefit of reflecting several books by men who were literal shepherds as well as pastors.
Lecture Series through Thomas Watson's, The Art of Divine Contentment. During this study we have often referred to our loss and most recently dealt with it when he deals with the first apology (argument) in chapter ten against contentment given by Christians, the loss of a child to death (we applied it to our situation and how his advice, though hard to learn, was helping to gain more contentment for grief that would glorify God (as Rev. Martin also challenges us to have in his book mentioned above). The fifth lecture (on chapter 10, part 5) especially deals with dealing with death. The first few lectures also spend a lot of time on seeing the classroom of learning contentment is being in the crucible of such affliction. I got this book to read (as I did) during our healing respite as I needed help with my discontentment, and as I mention in the beginning lecture it helped so much but I needed more, thus the impetus for the study (and because of course I thought it would benefit the saints greatly).
I hesitated to post due to these not being specifically Puritan works, but after my conversation with my minister friend yesterday I felt compelled to share, especially the first three resources. I share these (though not as specific to the original request) as I hope that I can provide some comfort to others as God has comforted us (2 Cor. 1:4). That thought helps us have more peace and a sense of purpose in God's providence.
I also just ordered the book by Kupyer mentioned above and am eager to meditate on it for my own continued healing and hope but also to be ready to use it as what looks to be a great resource for shepherding and comforting others.
Lastly, if I may, I'd like to share here an article I wrote recently for
Place for Truth in a series on women that was to honor my late-wife, Jennifer (Hovey) Marie and helped me cope and hope. It helps us to have offered this, and thankfully I have learned it has supported others, including men who have recently lost their wives:
http://www.placefortruth.org/blog/no-little-women-know-what-we’ve-got-she’s-gone
I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope. For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption. Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. (Psalm 16:8-11)
But God will redeem my soul from the power of the grave: for he shall receive me. Selah. (Psalm 49:15)
One more thing, my dearly beloved brethren, I can especially say: sing the Psalms!
