A Musical Problem

[Theognome]

Ho boy.

When one of the sales directors (Candy Clay) where I work left the company to join another firm, we gave her a send-off party. Being the parody writer, I wrote a parody of 'Yesterday' by the Beatles about her for the occasion.

Two months later, I was asked to write another one for Jerry Weinholt, the VP of sales, who left the company- and that it had to be a Gordon Lightfoot song. I used 'Carefree Highway'.

Next, I wrote a 1 year anniversary song for our center to the tune of 'Margaritaville'.

Then, when AJ Stahl left, I wrote 'Chance to say goodbye' to the tune of 'Bad Moon on the Rise'.

But now, I've ben asked to write a song for the birthday party of our current VP of sales, Matt Hemmingway, by next Friday. Matt won the SIlver medal in the 2004 olympics in highjumping, is 6'7" tall, and has no perceptible sense of humor. None the less, I'm supposed to make this not only a funny song, but to use a 'heavy metal' or hard rock tune. Does anyone know a song of this type that has a title or important lyric that rhymes with Hemmingway? I'm drawing a blank.

Theognome

 

[charliejunfan]

thats hard....

 

[Theognome]

thats hard....

I know. I considered briefly using Dire Straight's 'Money for Nothing', but the lyrics just won't fit into standard HR policy.

Theognome

 

[Theognome]

I just got a suggestion to use Aerosmith's 'Walk This Way', but the song is just too big and Matt doesn't offer a whole lot of subject matter (He's a decent enough fellow, be he's as outgoing as a refined garden slug). I pray someone here can throw me an inspiration.

Theognome

 

[VictorBravo]

I just got a suggestion to use Aerosmith's 'Walk This Way', but the song is just too big and Matt doesn't offer a whole lot of subject matter (He's a decent enough fellow, be he's as outgoing as a refined garden slug). I pray someone here can throw me an inspiration.

Theognome

I know the title doesn't work, but after reading your description of him, my first thought was "Born to be Wild." Heh, at least it has "highway" in it.

 

[VirginiaHuguenot]

Would "Any Way You Want It" by Journey work?

 

[Theognome]

I know the title doesn't work, but after reading your description of him, my first thought was "Born to be Wild." Heh, at least it has "highway" in it.

Indeed. I'll pull the lyrics and check it out.

As it happens, I just considered the Beatles song, 'Eleanor Rigby'. It's not an exact match, but it fits in syllables and the song is easy to parody. I'll try them both.

Theognome

 

[Theognome]

Would "Any Way You Want It" by Journey work?

Ooh! I'll check out the full lyrics. Thanks!

Theognome

 

[Theognome]

Okay. I came up with a version of Eleanor Rigby. Here's how it came out...


Ah, look at all his employed people
Ah, look at all his employed people

Matthew Hemingway left Athens with an award that most folks would adore
In his sock drawer
Wound up in Denver, thought he looked like a gaunt version of Boris Karloff
They pawned him off

All his Employed people
Will they leave him alone?
All his employed people
Would just get on the phone…

Showed up in KC folks did their best not to stare or to point or to laugh
Dwarfs a giraffe
Look at him working. Closes his door with his music and desk that is bare
Is he all there?

All his Employed people
Will they leave him alone?
All his employed people
Would just get on the phone…

Matthew Hemingway today’s his birthday and that’s why we’re all standing here,
Where is the beer?
Now he’s in KC now he knows why we’re so different from where he has been
Air was too thin

All his Employed people
Will they leave him alone?
All his employed people
Would just get on the phone…


I'll see what I can do with the Journey song tomorrow.

Theognome