Breast Feeding: When to quit?

[Miss Marple]

"So in reply to Miss Marple we could discuss the extremes"

It's not so much that I want to discuss the extremes, as that I want to understand what criteria others use when deciding when to quit. They must all decide to quit at some time, so, I wonder what the decision making process is.

 

[JoannaV]

"So in reply to Miss Marple we could discuss the extremes"

It's not so much that I want to discuss the extremes, as that I want to understand what criteria others use when deciding when to quit. They must all decide to quit at some time, so, I wonder what the decision making process is.

I understand, I'm happy to try to do that.

A child will generally become less and less interested in nursing. For nutrition they will be turning more and more to other food. For comfort they will be comforted more by other means. They will become more engaged in their play. For various reasons a child will nurse less frequently. Often the end of the nursing relationship goes unnoticed: one day you realise that you haven't nursed in several days. Children will vary as to how the frequency decreases: some may only nurse at bedtime, some may only nurse in the middle of the night, some may only nurse in the afternoon, some may only nurse when they wake in the morning. The mother's involvement in weaning varies. Some may redirect their child's attention more than others. Depending on the mother's feelings she may feel less happy about nursing during the day or the night. Oftentimes pregnancy increases a mother's desire to wean and decreases an infant's interest in nursing. (Not always, and if one conceives quickly one might not want to wean.) Point is, it's rare that one would actually have to make the decision to quit cold turkey, you know? The mother and child will both generally over time for various reasons nurse less. Once the child does not need to nurse to stay hydrated the mother may at some point decide never to offer/initiate nursing.
There are some children who do not show any signs of weaning completely before a certain time and so in those cases it would maybe be more of a decision. For example, before starting school. In our culture that seems to be the big thing. By now we are talking about such a small percentage of the population that it is too case-specific for me to speculate.

I suppose if someone comes to motherhood steeped in the idea that a baby should wean once they are eating solids, the idea of nursing past 1 (or 6 months or whatever the idea she had) may leave her wondering when she should stop instead. But this is not a decision she needs to make at birth. She need not fear nursing into the 13th month of life if she chooses to. She does not have to have a plan. She can take it month by month. She can stop any time she wants, but need not fear that if she doesn't stop now she will end up still nursing "at some age she's uncomfortable with".

The short answer to your question perhaps, is that she decides she will quit when it is no longer mutually beneficial.

Of course there are cases where there is sin on the mother's part in extending the nursing relationship. I'm sure there are mothers who do try to keep their child a baby, and who only consider the benefit to themselves rather than the child. But generally this is not the case. Nowadays we want the textbook answer to everything, but life doesn't always run by schedules

 

[Dena]

Fascinating discussion, here. I do not normally spend time on the PB anymore, but my husband does, and he mentioned to me this thread, since he is well-aware of my great interest on the topic of breastfeeding (and has been trying to get me to write a book on the subject, as it pertains to Christian Worldview).

It has been my "in my spare time" "hobby" field of personal study for more than three years, now, so its always interesting to see discussions going on about the topic. I have completed the training/study, etc required to become a La Leche League Leader, but I just don't have the time to commit to being one...nonetheless, I continue to read, study, learn, and help women and the population at large as I am able.

It is sad that there is much misinformation on the subject of breastfeeding. Sad that our culture currently perpetuates these false notions of "ew, gross" and "this is not beneficial," etc, but at the same time, not at all surprising. It is good to see there are some on here who seem to be well-educated regarding this subject and also good to see the ones on here who are ignorant (probably at least mostly not their faults, just a product of our backwards culture) but who are willing to be educated accurately.

As some have said, its very important to separate the visceral responses and personal opinions from facts on the issue. "I think" or "I feel" or "It seems like to me" really aren't helpful in determining what is true, without examining the facts.

We assume that doctors, nurses, and the medical field at large are educated on the subject, so we tend to take their word for it, when it comes to breastfeeding. The truth is (yes, this is an actual fact), little to no time is spent in medical training on the subject of breastfeeding. So what happens is, false information/public opinion, etc, is passed from one medical professional to another, and it keeps getting spewed out worse and worse and then to the public, and the chain of misinformation continues. To get accurate information from medical professionals, we mostly need to look to see if they also have their IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) accreditation, which most medical professionals, do not. -- Or at the very least, see if they have been under the tutelage of someone who practices breastfeeding medicine. Things I hear all the time - and have seen in this thread, that are false statements, make me very sad ---- One has to quit nursing if pregnant, one can not nurse more than one child at a time, mother's milk becomes basically like water with no value to consume it any more after X amount of days/weeks/months/years. --- So sad that one of God's most brilliant creations is being lied about and squandered!

So much could be said here to correct false thoughts on the subject, but it is simply too big of an issue for me to tackle. So I will say, check your sources. Utilize your local La Leche League. I can give a host of book and website recommendations if anyone needs them or truly wants to be educated further.

On the subject of mothers nursing their children "too long" in order to fulfill some sort of personal need, I have to laugh. It would be crystal clear to anyone who ever even *attempted* to nurse a child who had outgrown the need/desire to do so anymore that it would literally be impossible to do so.

If we begin to educate ourselves to see that A) no child is going to be "forced" to nurse longer than they desire to do so and B) Breastmilk (and the act of breastfeeding) continues to provide excellent, optimum resources that are truly unparalleled to any other substance on Earth (yay, God!), for as *long* as it continues, the question really becomes "why are we in such a hurry to stop it?"