a mere housewife
Not your cup of tea
My husband doesn't want me to browse on the Puritanboard in future, as it's so hard on my back. So I wanted to say goodbye, and thank you-- especially for the prayers that have been given for my brother and his (wife?-- I'm not sure what relation they bear at this point) and their children, and for help I've received with different things.
Also, I thought you ought to know the sordid details of Bob Howe's true identity: he is an undercover agent, wears a false mustache and a unibrow (for symmetry), and fills himself out with packing peanuts in order to appear more imposing. He also chews a bubble gum with a bugging device, and in spite of interference is able to transmit a great deal of our member's only forums (he reads aloud), amidst lugubrious chopping noises, to headquarters... I'm not sure what the stated goals of his organization are, but I think they are out to establish a regime in which Virginia Hugenot would be suppressed. He confessed all of this to me some time ago, but unfortunately the confession was programmed to self destruct... His real name isn't even Bob, it's Segor or something. (I'm sorry to have to expose you, Segor, but you know that the organization demands quantity, not quality-- yet you have made many meaningful statements, and have not exploited the dancing banana and the dittohead. You have also frequently salivated during transmission. The director is displeased: he says you are not worthy to wear the unibrow, and wishes you to return the packing peanuts.)
Oh, and don't believe anything he says about me...
Also, I thought you ought to know the sordid details of Bob Howe's true identity: he is an undercover agent, wears a false mustache and a unibrow (for symmetry), and fills himself out with packing peanuts in order to appear more imposing. He also chews a bubble gum with a bugging device, and in spite of interference is able to transmit a great deal of our member's only forums (he reads aloud), amidst lugubrious chopping noises, to headquarters... I'm not sure what the stated goals of his organization are, but I think they are out to establish a regime in which Virginia Hugenot would be suppressed. He confessed all of this to me some time ago, but unfortunately the confession was programmed to self destruct... His real name isn't even Bob, it's Segor or something. (I'm sorry to have to expose you, Segor, but you know that the organization demands quantity, not quality-- yet you have made many meaningful statements, and have not exploited the dancing banana and the dittohead. You have also frequently salivated during transmission. The director is displeased: he says you are not worthy to wear the unibrow, and wishes you to return the packing peanuts.)
Oh, and don't believe anything he says about me...
and 
