LawrenceU
Puritan Board Doctor
Okay, I confess, In spite of my dashing charm, incredible good looks, and vast stores of knowledge I have a terrible weakness: the improper use of reflexive pronouns in my presence is like Kryptonite in the room with Superman.
Yesterday I had a meeting with a client in which the progeny of the loins of my employer decided to attend. (He, the nepotistic ninny, is the world's smartest person, capable of doing anything with almost nothing. Einstein's spirit wanders the room behind him saying 'Mea culpa' over and over.) Genius boy decided that he needed to make the presentation. (Yep, the one I've been working on for six weeks.) I bravely tried to explain to him that he really didn't have all the data down and could look foolish if they asked any questions. He forged on ahead.
During the entire presentation he used the reflexive pronouns, 'myself' and 'ourselves', as objective pronouns, and even nominatives over and over and over and . . . I really couldn't make any sense out of what he was trying to do. I tried to concentrate on what he was saying, knowing that I would have to bail him out when they began to ask questions. My mind was in tatters. My strength was failing. I was fearful for my life. (This brainchild graduated from college with a 3.78 supposedly.)
Thankfully the assault upon the English language ceased. The client, whom I know well, looked at me with a quizzical expression. Genius boy, closed his laptop, took a seat with a look of smug satisfaction and stated, 'As you can see . . .' I began to weaken again immediately. He was recapping his presentation! Sweat broke out upon my brow. I began to look for an exit.
I was only saved by the client interrupting him, 'Well, Lawrence has always taken care of us. I'm sure he can sort this out. Lawrence, can you step to my office for a minute?' So, we retired to his office. He laughed at the idiocy of the 'boy wonder' (his name). He said that it was obvious to him that he was an owner's son. He asked if he was correct. I affirmed his suspicions graciously.
As it turns out, the client is an English major as well.
So, do your part to make the world a safer place and to elevate your position in the eyes of others: study, or relearn if necessary, the basics of grammar.
And, pray that I will be relieved of this daily assault. I can feel myself weakening.
Yesterday I had a meeting with a client in which the progeny of the loins of my employer decided to attend. (He, the nepotistic ninny, is the world's smartest person, capable of doing anything with almost nothing. Einstein's spirit wanders the room behind him saying 'Mea culpa' over and over.) Genius boy decided that he needed to make the presentation. (Yep, the one I've been working on for six weeks.) I bravely tried to explain to him that he really didn't have all the data down and could look foolish if they asked any questions. He forged on ahead.
During the entire presentation he used the reflexive pronouns, 'myself' and 'ourselves', as objective pronouns, and even nominatives over and over and over and . . . I really couldn't make any sense out of what he was trying to do. I tried to concentrate on what he was saying, knowing that I would have to bail him out when they began to ask questions. My mind was in tatters. My strength was failing. I was fearful for my life. (This brainchild graduated from college with a 3.78 supposedly.)
Thankfully the assault upon the English language ceased. The client, whom I know well, looked at me with a quizzical expression. Genius boy, closed his laptop, took a seat with a look of smug satisfaction and stated, 'As you can see . . .' I began to weaken again immediately. He was recapping his presentation! Sweat broke out upon my brow. I began to look for an exit.
I was only saved by the client interrupting him, 'Well, Lawrence has always taken care of us. I'm sure he can sort this out. Lawrence, can you step to my office for a minute?' So, we retired to his office. He laughed at the idiocy of the 'boy wonder' (his name). He said that it was obvious to him that he was an owner's son. He asked if he was correct. I affirmed his suspicions graciously.
As it turns out, the client is an English major as well.
So, do your part to make the world a safer place and to elevate your position in the eyes of others: study, or relearn if necessary, the basics of grammar.
And, pray that I will be relieved of this daily assault. I can feel myself weakening.
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