How much is too much?

[Mindaboo]

Buggy's thread on "Chewing More Than I Can Swallow" really got me thinking. I often feel that way too. I am always taking on more work. I find myself wrestling with how much is too much. I can't find a place in scripture where it says that we are to stop serving others, instead I find that the scriptures teach we are to give all we have.

Just this week I was asked to babysit by four different people, to work the church nursery, and help out in a Sunday school class.

When is it appropriate to say no? Or is it?

 

[Vonnie Dee]

YES!!! It is absolutely appropriate to say no at times. As a wife and mom, I believe your first realm of service it to your household. If you are giving so much to other people, even church people, that you are not fulfilling your role at home, that is too much. If you don't have time to get the rest you need to be healthy, that is too much. If you are working the nursery and Sunday school, and not having time to be taught on Sunday, that is too much.

 

[Andres]

Buggy's thread on "Chewing More Than I Can Swallow" really got me thinking. I often feel that way too. I am always taking on more work. I find myself wrestling with how much is too much. I can't find a place in scripture where it says that we are to stop serving others, instead I find that the scriptures teach we are to give all we have.

Just this week I was asked to babysit by four different people, to work the church nursery, and help out in a Sunday school class.

When is it appropriate to say no? Or is it?

When is it appropriate to say no? When you feel overwhelmed, which you sound like you are. Your friends will find other babysitters and the church will find more workers. Take a break sister and don't let people abuse your kind, servant's heart.

 

[py3ak]

I think the 4th Commandment gives some practical guidance: if you can't fit it into six days, then it's too much, because you are given six days to deal with your work.

It's also worth bearing in mind that Christ, "I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do" even though there were still people unhealed.

 

[jambo]

You need to be firm and say no. Some people will in fact take advantage of your good nature.

Too much is too much when your own family life and relationships suffer. Too much is too much when you become tired and ineffective. Too much is too much when you don't have time for the things needful. You only realise that too much is too much after you have burned yourself out.

The gospel writers record times when Jesus withdrew (sometimes by himself other times with the disciples) to secluded spots. There was still much preaching and healing to be done but the time spent aside resting and being recharged was essential.

 

[JBaldwin]

I have struggled with this on and off over the years. You can take on too much, and stretch yourself too thin. At some point, you are no longer able to the best you can, and I don't think that is pleasing to God either. Here is my solution. When I am beginning to feel like I'm taking on too much, I go to a quiet place with a pen and piece of paper. I write down everything I'm doing from cleaning the house to helping at church, family, committees or whatever. Then I pray and ask God to help me prioritize and to enable me to see what can be dropped or given to someone else to do. Then I number everything 1, 2, or 3. One is absolutely necessary, two is important, but can be done last, and three is at the bottom. Then I take action.

It is amazing how quickly things straighten themselves out when I do this (and I've done it many times). What I'm finding is that I do it less and less, and it is getting easier and easier to tell people no or to suggest that someone else do it. At home, my kids usually end up with more chores, and at church, I often find folks with gifts who haven't been using them.

 

[Idelette]

Yes, I completely agree with others here! I think often mothers feel that they need to be ministering within the church or to others....and to some extent that is true. But, your main ministry is to your family, that is where God has called you. Your first priority is to your family and if you still have the time and energy left to do more then you can. But, I wouldn't feel obligated, and I wouldn't feel bad declining to help others.

I used to say "yes" to everyone that needed help, and it honestly became more than I could handle! I've learned to say "no" since then. And honestly, it's not only for myself. I can't fully serve others if I'm stressed out and overwhelmed or sick all the time. (which is exactly what was happening) So, I've learned to do just as much as I feel that I am able to do while still maintaining the work that God has given me.

 

[Mindaboo]

Sometimes I think people assume because I am at home with my kids that I have that time. I don't.

I literally have from 1-7 extra kids in my home every day. Summer is coming and my family will spend all summer doing school to make up for the time we lost taking care of others.

Thanks, Yvonne. I appreciate your words. I actually thought a lot about you as I typed my original post. I think maybe we are a little alike in this area.

 

[EricP]

When I first was saved a dozen years ago, and finally read the bible from start to finish, one of the things that impressed me about the gospels' description of Jesus' life was that He was never in a hurry--everything had its time, and he was never rushed, never gave in to urgent demands that would have deflected Him from His Father's business. He MUST have said "no" to many things that to us would have sounded good and important ("come and help Lazarus!!"). All of us have to learn to say "no": the tough part is knowing the godly "when". Pray lots, and really mean it when you say "I'll pray about it". No immediate answer from God often means it was a something best left undone! And no matter what our church positions might be, God really does want us to honor our spouses and families!