How to be certain with kinda-big decisions

[dog8food]

Some family and friends think I'm crazy. Others don't:

So in January I left on a working holiday visa to Australia. I had some work lined up that fell through. So I explored and budgeted by doing work exchange while looking for paid work. I did things I've never experienced before like volunteering on a farm or as a kitchen assistant at a camp. I had a big reliance on God and realized awesome ways in which He was carrying me. It was fun but I never found paid work.

I was at the point where I had enough money to buy a flight home, or use the rest of it in hopes of eventually finding paid work. Fear got the best of me and I came home, but for the same price of a one-way ticket, I purchased a return to Australia just in case. I was hoping to find quick work here (Florida) so I can save some and return to Australia. From early March to now I experienced the worst reverse-culture shock (maybe going from farm to city) and depression. At the same time I really have no home, I'm living off of family charity, it's been very difficult to find a job, and my car is unreliable (needs work I can't afford).

So I sold my car, other belongings and am now faced with two options. Option 1: I desire to return to Australia with what I have now. If I do more work-exchange I can buy at least 3 months to find paid work (I have more contacts now). I believe I'll be in a better mental state of mind than I am here. The labor felt so real and meaningful, and sharing the good news with other travelers was both challenging and rewarding for me. Option 2: Go back to live with mom... start from scratch. The thing is, this is probably what I'll end up doing after my journey anyway. Plus mom encourages me to do what I feel at peace about doing. I'm 29, I have my own qualms about living at home.

The dilemma: I always feel that God either says Yes or No to my decisions, yet I can't hear Him! I pray and study His Word hoping that a switch might just go off in my mind (I'm very indecisive). Therefore I often feel guilty about my decisions as if I'm always making the wrong one. Right now, I have no obligations or tie-downs here, so my gut tells me to go back to Australia and finish off my working visa (which can only be done once in a lifetime) and just work faithfully, and trust God more. Of course I feel kind of ridiculous about going, coming, and going back again, but I think it's just my ego that's sore, worried about what other people might think.

Sorry for the long-windedness of this post I basically just want to know how to feel a real peace about something...especially if you're someone like me who couldn't make a decision if your life depended on it.

 

[Kim G]

I'm not going to try to answer your question about the Lord's leading (I'll leave that up to more qualified people).

But regarding your future, you seem to lay out two options:
1) Go live with your mom, or
2) Go to Australia, then go live with your mom.

I'm married. My husband has a job, and we have two kids, a car, and a home. We're not going anywhere. You're single, have few possessions, and no job. I'd say, go to Australia while you can!

 

[Tim]

I pray and study His Word hoping that a switch might just go off in my mind (I'm very indecisive).

Diego, there is no switch that will signal you what to do. You will need to consider all the scriptural principles that apply to your situation. This includes asking older Christians for input (it is wise to consult a multitude of counselors). As long as an option is plainly lawful (i.e., not a sin) it is a valid option if believe it to be the best choice, given your goals, gifts, callings, exercise of charity, etc.

I encourage you to first consider your goals in light of scripture. There are many general principles that are common for young men. For instance, it is God's will for most people to marry. If you do not believe you are called to a life of singleness, then you need to consider what is your calling, your vocation. How will you move in a direction of earning a living and establishing a household? How many years will it take to achieve this readiness? Do you need to acquire more skills and training? Are you in a place where you will be able to meet your future wife? Have you settled on the sort of church in which you will attend and serve long term, building relationships along the way? Are you settled doctrinally? If not, you need to put yourself in a place where you can be discipled by the right men.

These are just examples, but they will apply to most men.

Then you just need to consider the little steps you need to take in order to progress in these areas. If joblessness is the most troubling thing to you, then you must go to the place where you have the best chance to acquire something good, regular, and relatively long term. If you are not currently supporting yourself, I frankly suggest that you have no business traveling to the other side of the world (what if you get stranded?). I hope that you will consider this friendly advice. I mean it to be challenging, but kind at the same time.

so my gut tells me to go back to Australia

And, let's try to scrutinize what your gut says, with scripture, okay? When you are uncomfortable, you should be able to point to a scriptural principle.

 

[Jeff Kerr]

If I can make a book recommendation, read Kevin DeYoung's Just Do Something. It's a superb resource for making non-moral decisions, which really aren't about being in God's will but about wisdom. It's a short book, it's inexpensive, and it's a quick read. I highly recommend it.

 

[Tim]

my working visa (which can only be done once in a lifetime)

Oh, and one more thing.... That particular legal/immigration status may only be once in a lifetime, but there are many ways to get to Australia, especially when you are older, more established, and richer. I can think of few Australian experiences you won't be able to also have in the future...you will be able to work, play, or do whatever you want!

---------- Post added at 10:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:38 PM ----------

Here is an excellent book:

Amazon.com: Manly Dominion: In a Passive-Purple-Four-Ball World (0978187973755): Mark Chanski: Books

---------- Post added at 10:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:44 PM ----------

It includes a great chapter on decision-making that interacts very much with the sort of questions you have been asking.

 

[ClayPot]

Greg Koukl has a teaching series called Decision Making and the the Will of God (which is based largely on the book of the same title by Gary Friessen). In it, he boils decision making down to three questions (in conjunction with lots of prayer, reading the Word, seeking counsel from others, etc.)

1. Is it moral?
2. Is it wise?
3. Is it in accordance with my personal preferences?

If all three of these are satisfied, then you are free to act with confidence of God's blessing. As I said, this is in conjunction with reading of the word, counsel from others, prayer, etc., this is not just a convenient formula. You really need to think through these things and trust the Lord's guiding when discerning the answer to these questions.

 

[jwithnell]

Brother, Tim is being helpful in encouraging you to consider the larger life questions rather than the immediate, smaller decisions. I generally encourage people who want to take some time to explore the world and their own capabilities, but at some point -- and at 29 you are likely there -- you need to consider the work, family, and church life that God is calling you to live as a believer.

Plenty of fields support those who want a less-conventional life: small, entrepreneurial agriculture or arts business, some areas of computing, or anything to do with graphic design. With few responsibilities to tie you down, you might also be in an idea position for short-term missions to see if that might lead to a calling for you.

I encourage you to look at the bigger picture. You may not be called to wear a suit, raise 2.3 kids and buy a 3-bedroom house in the suburbs, but you are called to live a useful life and to be committed to a local congregation where you can serve and be nurtured amongst God's people

 

[Tim]

This has been well articulated.

 

[dog8food]

How will you move in a direction of earning a living and establishing a household? How many years will it take to achieve this readiness? Do you need to acquire more skills and training? Are you in a place where you will be able to meet your future wife? Have you settled on the sort of church in which you will attend and serve long term, building relationships along the way? Are you settled doctrinally? If not, you need to put yourself in a place where you can be discipled by the right men.

These are good questions. I ask myself these often. Unfortunately, I'm such a big-picture person that I'm stunned with the possibilities, or scared, or both. It didn't help that I studied sociology, which led me to completely dissect every possibility that enters my mind. There's so many variables to consider when making decisions. I'm so overly-cautious I can't move--so it makes me appear lazy. I've spent years, 5 countries, personality assessments, counselors, and over 30 un-related jobs trying to find what might appeal to me, what my talents might be, and listening to what God might be calling me to do.

I understand what you mean, jwithnell, and I'm trying to use my no-tiedowns in a proactive manner. In Australia my mind felt free of obsessing about the future and I was learning new skills, even living in the moment. I experienced glimpses of Solomon's suggestions that one should enjoy the simple pleasures of daily life, such as eating, and taking enjoyment in one's work. Maybe I was happy knowing nothing was permanent. I like change. The reason I think it was good for me is because this type of work-exchange allows me to experience many different trades/lifestyles in the shortest amount of time. My end goal is always to find that earthly purpose.

I literally can start anywhere from here. I just can't find goals/talent/somewhere I'm needed/motivation/calling. I keep finding what I know I don't want. How does one in my position choose? So I keep praying, searching, and trying, failing, and trying again.

Thank you all for your help. I enjoy gaining new perspective.

 

[dog8food]

Oh, also, I believe I failed to elaborate one of my primary motivations for returning to Australia in particular: I have very little resources now, and the working holiday visa for Australia is desirable because of the potential to save much more than in the US (most casual jobs begin at $17 per hour). So if I were to find a job, not only would I be buying time to figure out my next move, but I'd also return with a much bigger financial cushion that I need to get started. I guess I can consider that a short-term goal.

 

[Edward]

Plus mom encourages me to do what I feel at peace about doing. I'm 29

I'll break with the crowd here. If you were 19, my answer would be different. But at 29, it's time for you to grow up and take some responsibility.

 

[kappazei]

I'll pray for you Juan Diego. I for one would appreciate an update.

You said in your initial post, "The labor felt so real and meaningful, and sharing the good news with other travelers was both challenging and rewarding for me." That's very telling. It sounds like you want to do this anyway. Remember, each decision has it's own consequences and rewards. I've heard it said about my youth pastor from way back, "He has a way of enjoying any job he was on." Now he's been a partner in a successful accounting firm for a number of years, making a difference in the market place. I think Tim Lindsay's advice sounds the best to me though. Just sayn'...

BTW; If you're willing to work hard, there's lots of jobs in the oilfields up in Northern Canada. For instance, I saw a news story about BC,s Peace River country, interviewing an owner of a construction company. He had dump trucks sitting idle cause there aren't enough drivers. Work hard for a couple of years, get some dough together, go back to school for training... Hey maybe it's time for you to do some research.

 

[kappazei]

Ok, that earlier post sounded harsh. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to imply that you're not a good worker.