Puritanhead
Puritan Board Professor
Considering my great-great-great-great grandfather got his leg blown off by deem-Yankees, and because my southern forefathers were regarded as a "grapes of wrath to be trampled under foot" this parody of the Unitarian, Julia Ward Howe's battle hymn is rather humorous.
Mark Twain's parody of the Battle Hymn of the Republic
written approximately 1900
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Mine eyes have seen the orgy of the launching of the Sword;
He is searching out the hoardings where the stranger's wealth is stored; He hath loosed his fateful lightnings, and with woe and death has scored; His lust is marching on.
I have seen him in the watch-fires of a hundred circling camps; They have builded him an altar in the Eastern dews and damps; I have read his doomful mission by the dim and flaring lamps -- His night is marching on.
I have read his bandit gospel writ in burnished rows of steel:
"As ye deal with my pretensions, so with you my wrath shall deal; Let the faithless son of Freedom crush the patriot with his heel; Lo, Greed is marching on!"
We have legalized the strumpet and are guarding her retreat;* Greed is seeking out commercial souls before his judgment seat; O, be swift, ye clods, to answer him! be jubilant my feet! Our god is marching on!
In a sordid slime harmonious Greed was born in yonder ditch, With a longing in his bosom -- and for others' goods an itch.
As Christ died to make men holy, let men die to make us rich -- Our god is marching on.
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BTW Don't ask me to sing the Battle Hymn of the Republic at church... I'll just sit in my pew and twiddle my thumbs...
Mark Twain's parody of the Battle Hymn of the Republic
written approximately 1900
-----------------------------------------------
Mine eyes have seen the orgy of the launching of the Sword;
He is searching out the hoardings where the stranger's wealth is stored; He hath loosed his fateful lightnings, and with woe and death has scored; His lust is marching on.
I have seen him in the watch-fires of a hundred circling camps; They have builded him an altar in the Eastern dews and damps; I have read his doomful mission by the dim and flaring lamps -- His night is marching on.
I have read his bandit gospel writ in burnished rows of steel:
"As ye deal with my pretensions, so with you my wrath shall deal; Let the faithless son of Freedom crush the patriot with his heel; Lo, Greed is marching on!"
We have legalized the strumpet and are guarding her retreat;* Greed is seeking out commercial souls before his judgment seat; O, be swift, ye clods, to answer him! be jubilant my feet! Our god is marching on!
In a sordid slime harmonious Greed was born in yonder ditch, With a longing in his bosom -- and for others' goods an itch.
As Christ died to make men holy, let men die to make us rich -- Our god is marching on.
-------------------------------
BTW Don't ask me to sing the Battle Hymn of the Republic at church... I'll just sit in my pew and twiddle my thumbs...