Questions about Family Planning

[bigsisfarmer]

Is there scriptural basis for family planning or the lack thereof?

Are there cases where it is wise to family plan? (for example if funds for a family could not support another child?)

Should a couple fully look to Christ to open and close the womb, or should families have good stewardship with their funds?

This is not a discussion of chemical birth control (especially abortifacients).

 

[Pomopu]

My intuition is to say the Christian couple has a vast array of options available to them in regards to number of kids, timing of kids, etc. Not sure if I could articulate a defense of that intuition. But I guess that's why it is an intuition.

Hmm. Maybe this is why, as I pondered: with the coming of Christ, the primary focus of every Christian isn't, shouldn't be, on expanding one's physical progeny. But one's spiritual progeny! So that's freeing, I think there is great liberty in knowing the focus of the NT is less so on one's physical relations, more so on the new community we've entered into? I don't know. Just some thoughts.

 

[Northern Crofter]

Is there scriptural basis for family planning or the lack thereof?

I think you can only extrapolate from the general wisdom of Scripture (there is plenty about "planning" in Proverbs, for example). When folks appeal to places like Genesis 38:9 or 1 Corinthians 7:5, it always seems like a reach to me (and usually a reaching to proof-text a held conviction rather than being the basis for it).

Are there cases where it is wise to family plan? (for example if funds for a family could not support another child?)
Should a couple fully look to Christ to open and close the womb, or should families have good stewardship with their funds?

Both of these statements seem to contain false (or at least prejudicial) dichotomies. If you can - and should - trust God to open and close the womb, you can - and should - trust Him to provide accordingly.

This is not a discussion of chemical birth control (especially abortifacients).

I'm very glad to hear that, but maybe you should have started out with this important caveat - I think it would be helpful if you defined what you mean by "family planning."

 

[bigsisfarmer]

By family planning I mean somewhat planning the timing and spacing of kids. Either through abstinence or through tracking ovulation.

I think trusting the Lord to provide and being good stewards work hand in hand, and are not exclusive. You can trust fully that the Lord will provide if He gives you a child, but also wait to have a child because you want to be a good steward of what you have. Obviously, no matter what you do, the Lord can decide to give you another child.

This isn't a matter of trusting the Lord or not, only if family planning falls under the umbrella of good stewardship? If that makes sense.

 

[PaulCLawton]

Is there scriptural basis for family planning or the lack thereof?

Are there cases where it is wise to family plan? (for example if funds for a family could not support another child?)

Should a couple fully look to Christ to open and close the womb, or should families have good stewardship with their funds?

This is not a discussion of chemical birth control (especially abortifacients).

When asked this question in person, I usually say that there have been times in my life as a father of eight (soon to be nine DV) that leaving "family planning" entirely to the Lord has been very difficult, including now to be frank. However, I am a simple man, and so I always conclude with the conviction that God can always grant you more money, and more love and patience.

 

[RamistThomist]

Hypothetically, if a couple isn't actively having sex on what they believe to be the wife's most fertile days, then they are engaged in family planning of some sort.

 

[bigsisfarmer]

Hypothetically, if a couple isn't actively having sex on what they believe to be the wife's most fertile days, then they are engaged in family planning of some sort.

My question is how biblical this would be for a couple to do so.

 

[Andres]

Should a couple fully look to Christ to open and close the womb, or should families have good stewardship with their funds?

You seem to pose this question as if these two options are in opposition. The answer is yes to both.

 

[bigsisfarmer]

You seem to pose this question as if these two options are in opposition. The answer is yes to both.

Could you go into more detail and provide any Scriptural evidence? Sorry, but I can't just take your "yes to both" as surety without any Scriptural backing.

 

[RamistThomist]

My question is how biblical this would be for a couple to do so.

I am not making a judgment whether FP is good or bad. I am just saying that everyone, no matter how quiverfull they are, engages in some form of it.

 

[PaulCLawton]

Hypothetically, if a couple isn't actively having sex on what they believe to be the wife's most fertile days, then they are engaged in family planning of some sort.

Due to the fact that you are clearly a bright fellow, a careful thinker, and a clear communicator I hesitate to say this; but this is completely and obviously untrue. A man and wife simply not coming together during that period (or not even being aware of when that might be) is not "family planning" at all. Actually, quite the opposite: it's simply living freely and not worrying about either planning or preventing conception.

To say it another way, eschewing "family planning" is not the same thing as "militant fecundity" (to use a term coined by a disgraced quiver-fuller) but rather it is to do what comes naturally, and leaving the results to the Lord.

 

[RamistThomist]

Due to the fact that you are clearly a bright fellow, a careful thinker, and a clear communicator I hesitate to say this; but this is completely and obviously untrue. A man and wife simply not coming together during that period (or not even being aware of when that might be) is not "family planning" at all.

If they are unaware of her most fertile time, then, per the argument, they should be fine. But if they know she is most fertile at t1 and choose not to breed at that moment, then on the most legalistic glosses, they erred.

Of course, I don't think they sinned, but I am just drawing out the implication of some"quiverfull" types.

 

[PaulCLawton]

If they are unaware of her most fertile time, then, per the argument, they should be fine. But if they know she is most fertile at t1 and choose not to breed at that moment, then on the most legalistic glosses, they erred.

Of course, I don't think they sinned, but I am just drawing out the implication of some"quiverfull" types.

So yes, avoiding conception is "family planning", I don't think that was in doubt.

 

[Taahanni]

I have a good friend who has had severe physical complications with her current (third) pregnancy: she has had to use a catheter several times and has nerve damage to her bladder (i.e. she cannot feel when she has the urge to urinate). This damage could become permanent if she does not keep track of time and when she last went to the bathroom. She and her husband both wanted to try for four kids, but after this experience, they decided three is enough. My friend is hardly able to play with her two children and has to put them in front of a TV more than she likes because she is physically incapable of tending to them all day. I absolutely do not blame them for wanting to stop at three. I think taking care of our bodies and being physically available to the children already in our care is part of good stewardship.

 

[PaulCLawton]

I have a good friend who has had severe physical complications with her current (third) pregnancy: she has had to use a catheter several times and has nerve damage to her bladder (i.e. she cannot feel when she has the urge to urinate). This damage could become permanent if she does not keep track of time and when she last went to the bathroom. She and her husband both wanted to try for four kids, but after this experience, they decided three is enough. My friend is hardly able to play with her two children and has to put them in front of a TV more than she likes because she is physically incapable of tending to them all day. I absolutely do not blame them for wanting to stop at three. I think taking care of our bodies and being physically available to the children already in our care is part of good stewardship.

Of course it is, but the vast majority of family planning is not done for the health of the mother.

 

[Taahanni]

Of course it is, but the vast majority of family planning is not done for the health of the mother.

I am aware of this, and I agree the exception is not the rule, but I think the OP was asking if there is any Scriptural basis for family planning.

 

[Theoretical]

I am aware of this, and I agree the exception is not the rule, but I think the OP was asking if there is any Scriptural basis for family planning.

Part of the reason the extreme exception is an issue and has to be raised is that there's a fundamental difference between never and sometimes, especially in the ethical applications.

If the answer is never, then the couple either needs to decide that anything sexual is just completely off the table until well into menopause "since it all should lead to intercourse", that intercourse is 100% off the table but that they can do lesser "fooling around" things (historically that'd be hard to not be seen as Onanist in intent or twisted), or that the command to only abstain for a season of prayer doesn't apply to life-of-mother situations and to strictly trust God to provide, including the most-likely-you'll-die-in-childbirth-angle. Note, this view would likely treat a hysterectomy in the situation Taahanni's described as having birth control intent and thus being prohibited (vs. an independently medically necessary hysterectomy - say for something like uterine cancer - which would be a problem in a celibate woman just as much as a married one having sex).

Functionally, most couples that didn't have a heartless husband, a wife more willing to take the risks than miss out, or some combination therein in the situation in the pre-Birth Control-is-Permissible past likely ended up in situation 1 for devout folks and 2 for less devout, likely ending up in 1 after some "oops" scares where passions took over. [All of this is in the context of observant Protestants and Catholics]

If the answer is sometimes, then it becomes a question of wisdom and application to the couple, with the extreme circumstance being the clearest case for it.

 

[moral necessity]

Is there scriptural basis for family planning or the lack thereof?

Are there cases where it is wise to family plan? (for example if funds for a family could not support another child?)

Should a couple fully look to Christ to open and close the womb, or should families have good stewardship with their funds?

This is not a discussion of chemical birth control (especially abortifacients).

It might be good to peruse some older threads on this topic...

Contraception and the Bible

My wife and I are working though the issue of "family planning" together. We have two wonderful children and plan to have more. The question is whether it is Biblically permissible to use contraception to (attempt to) control the timing of births. Up until this time we have used natural...

www.puritanboard.com

Blessings!

 

[Ploutos]

Part of the reason the extreme exception is an issue and has to be raised is that there's a fundamental difference between never and sometimes, especially in the ethical applications.

This was one of those sentences that aptly puts into words something that I've felt strongly about. I have sometimes thought of myself as "theologically asymptotic" in that you might be able to persuade me that a particular course of action is advisable 90% of the time, 95% of the time, 98%, 99%, etc... But you will not convince me that it's a blanket rule 100% of the time.

 

[Ed Walsh]

Should a couple fully look to Christ to open and close the womb, or should families have good stewardship with their funds?

Yes, I think so.

You will search the Scripture in vain for any person to be rebuked for having more children than they could take care of.

I find very few to be open-minded to the view I shared above.

 

[Ed Walsh]

This isn't a matter of trusting the Lord or not, only if family planning falls under the umbrella of good stewardship? If that makes sense.

So where exactly in the Bible do we get the Scriptures that would support having children as a matter of good stewardship?

Where also do we get the idea that we are somehow supposed to control our procreation according to our own wisdom? Is it not true that when the Bible speaks about having children, it always speaks in terms of the number and timing of children as the prerogative of the Lord?

Genesis 30:22-23
[22] And God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb. [23] And she conceived, and bare a son; and said, God hath taken away my reproach:

Genesis 29:31-35
[31] And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren. [32] And Leah conceived, and bare a son and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction; now, therefore, my husband will love me. [33] And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Because the LORD hath heard that I was hated, he hath therefore given me this son also: and she called his name Simeon. [34] And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Now this time will my husband be joined unto me, because I have born him three sons: therefore was his name called Levi. [35] And she conceived again, and bare a son: and she said, Now will I praise the LORD: therefore she called his name Judah; and left bearing.

 

[Ploutos]

Yes, I think so.

You will search the Scripture in vain for any person to be rebuked for having more children than they could take care of.

The absence of a narrative instance of this doesn't mean that there's not a principle that can't be drawn from Scripture. It seems possible that 1 Tim. 5:8 could come into play here, for starters. And to the extent that we can avail ourselves of the resources of creation to alleviate the effects of the fall, we should do so - this includes taking into consideration the preservation of life and well-being and the care of our spouses.

Now at what point will that look like the culture's attitude toward family planning? Or at what point would that provide a Scriptural warrant for carefully-manicured families where we wait until we can have that new home or that second vehicle? I would say never.

But that's different from saying that there is never any reason to exercise a degree of prudence here.

 

[Contra_Mundum]

I think some people just want a law (a verse?) that makes this whole issue "go away." But in fact, that's what the biblical category of wisdom is all about. "Planning" is a normal part of life, to be done with prayer and faith, Jas.4:15. Indeed, children are God's good gift and we may expect his help for us if he sends them, no matter how "inconvenient" they may seem. He also sees fit to not-give children to some couples who very much would like one of their own, and who might very well make good parents. God does open and close the womb, but that text does not mean that would-be parents should never "try" to conceive, any more than it compels reluctant marrieds to have sx purely in order to attempt progeny. It simply means God is in charge, despite what exactly our private aims may be.

Wisdom for one couple may look very different from another. We should not judge one couple or another, but to their own master they stand or fall. We live by faith, or we live like unbelievers; but married sx life will not typically function as a litmus test of faith.

I feel very free to opine on this matter, as like a poster above I have comparatively lots of children. When this past week I mentioned the size of my family to an acquaintance (who presents as an unbeliever), the reply came back, "Wow. You should get a hobby...." I've lived and pastored long enough to know there is no reason everyone needs to adopt my family as their model or ideal. A husband and a wife should, as partners in the grace of life, aim wisely for what they believe God has equipped them to handle. Then, leave the actual results to God's providence and supervening wisdom.