Self-Awareness

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greenbaggins

Puritan Board Doctor
Why is it so hard for us to be self-aware?

I am always amazed sometimes at how ignorant we all are when it comes to pointing the finger at ourselves. If you believed us, there's really no sin in any of us. It's always someone else's fault. Either that, or the circumstances in which we find ourselves are at fault. It's no longer "the world, the flesh, and the devil," but "the devil, the others around me, and my circumstances" that completely accounts for my "failures" (heaven forbid we should use the word "sin").

I see this blinkered existence in countless people, especially when they're called on something that they've done wrong. What is always the reaction? "You're unloving," "If you hadn't done this first, then I wouldn't have responded this way," "God made these circumstances the way they are, and I couldn't help myself," etc. Blame-shifting. Never mind the fact that no one and nothing outside of ourselves can force us to do any sinful act. The most that can be said is that other people and/or our circumstances provide the opportunity for temptation. The sin comes ONLY from our own hearts.

But we are born casuists. A casuist is another name for someone who is spectacularly good at finding loopholes. It was said of W.C. Fields while on his deathbed that he was frantically reading the Bible. One of his friends asked him what he was doing, and he replied, "Looking for loopholes." Well, I'm here to say that the law of God doesn't have any loopholes. It skewers us no matter how hard we try to squirm out of its grip. The only answer is to acknowledge our skeweredness and put our trust and confidence in the One Who was skewered for us (literally).

But what I really want to address is our attitude towards our own sin, and what our reaction is to when it is uncovered. Usually, our reaction is plainly due to the fact that we were found out, and that our mask was stripped off of us. No more. We usually aren't that sorry for the actual sin committed. We aren't sorry that we've offended God. We're like the kid who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar and who says "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" desperately, in order to avoid the punishment. He isn't sorry at all that his hand was in the cookie jar. He was sorry he got caught. He (and we also) want sin without sin's consequences. But when our sin is exposed, we need to be thankful. There is that joy that comes from the relief of not having the guilt of that sin rotting away in our bones. There is a relief of purity. If only we could think of that when we are confronted. I am convinced sanctification could be a bit easier if we take that attitude, rather than be offended when our hypocrisy is revealed for all to see.
 
For self-examination I think it's worth extending it to false accusations. Today I was accused of two serious sins by another pastor and both were false (no, really!), but what is my reaction? My reaction should be:

  • It's sad that this slander has happened
  • The person slandering me needs help for the sake his salvation
  • Although I haven't done these sins, I've done others as bad or worse so there is no cause for me to feel self righteous; in fact I should use this to stir me to greater repentance and humility

Instead I'm tempted to think:

  • How dare they slander me?
  • I am innocent
  • How can I make them regret this?

Only by grace can we be enabled to self-aware humility. "Out of the depths we cry to you, O lord! If you, Lord kept a count of our sins, who could stand! But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with fear, serve you."

Even not self-aware we can be saved through the blood of Christ, but one of the evident fruits of repentance is greater self awareness leading to ever greater repentance through the power of the Holy Spirit. Let us grow up into Him who is our head, and run the race as victors rather than as ones only just escaping through the flames.
 
Thank you, Lane (and Paul). You are absolutely right. I was reading Psalm 51 last night after I repented of my attitude in one of the threads here and I found it striking how David took responsibility for his actions while at the same time recognizing that it was God and only God who can give needed forgiveness and a clean slate. We can't unwork our bad works; we can only repent of them and trust in the Lord that in His great faithfulness and mercy he would wash and cleanse us for His glory. Praise our Sovereign God.
 
Corollary to this problem of self-awareness is that of cultural blindness.

Put another way by example, how could some Southern Presbyterians have been such great theologians, yet be blind to, or worse yet, unrepentant of, racism? The inconsistency is more than mere inconsistency, yet it would also be wrong to simplistically reject their theology precisely because of their ethical or moral behavior.

[Is there a "baby with the bath-water" smilie?]

So the lesson learned is to ask what sins I might be blind to--how am I trapped by my own culture, by my own time and place in history?
 
Thank you, Rev. Keister. You example of a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar reminds me of a story I heard from a RB pastor here in my country. He said that he once interviewed a guy who wanted to be a member of his church. The guy was throughly interviewed, and was almost accepted as a member. But right before the church accepted him to their membership, he was asked the question, "If there was no hell, would you still come to Christ?" The man answered immediately and unhestitatingly, "Of course not!" Because of his answer, the guy was not admitted. Like the kid in your example, the guy wanted sin without sin's consequences. Sadly, I've met people who are actually like that. Some of them are my friends/classmates.

-----Added 8/13/2009 at 02:58:02 EST-----

Corollary to this problem of self-awareness is that of cultural blindness.

Put another way by example, how could some Southern Presbyterians have been such great theologians, yet be blind to, or worse yet, unrepentant of, racism? The inconsistency is more than mere inconsistency, yet it would also be wrong to simplistically reject their theology precisely because of their ethical or moral behavior.

[Is there a "baby with the bath-water" smilie?]

So the lesson learned is to ask what sins I might be blind to--how am I trapped by my own culture, by my own time and place in history?

Until last year, I did not know that there is an implicit and non-institutional form of racism that exists in my country which most of my countrymen (in my opinion) are not aware that it in fact exists. (I will not explain it further here.) I learned that I have been trapped by the time and the place in the history of my country in which I live. I belonged to the majority group and so I did not see the plight and sufferings of minority groups which also live in the same land as I do. They were being oppressed and discriminated by my countrymen for the simple (and utterly silly) reason that they look different from the rest.

How did I discover then that there was something wrong in the general attitude of the bulk of the populace against these minority groups? It suddenly dawned on me that a consistent 5-point Calvinist is opposed to anything that is racist. A serious look into into the depravity of man, and the work of the Trinity - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - in saving the elect forced me to think through what my culture has taught me over the years. My culture has taught me to categorize people on the basis of color. But God now taught me to be color-blind. I now learned that the Church of Christ is made up of people from every tribe and language and people and nation (Rev. 5:9). Of course, it would be easy to blame my culture for this. But the unescapable fact is that I myself have committed the sin and am liable to God for it.

I thank the Lord that He opened my eyes to the error of my ways and enabled me to repent of this sin. Soli Deo Gloria!
 
Corollary to this problem of self-awareness is that of cultural blindness.

Put another way by example, how could some Southern Presbyterians have been such great theologians, yet be blind to, or worse yet, unrepentant of, racism?

Wayne,

Indeed, racism is a grievous sin. However, at times, our own modern cultural blinders make us think that things are racism which are not (for example, observations on overall cultural or sub-cultural practices marking a particular ethnic group).

Cheers,
 
. . .at times, our own modern cultural blinders make us think that things are racism which are not (for example, observations on overall cultural or sub-cultural practices marking a particular ethnic group).

So it's not racist to say that rap music is just bad? :)
 
Jeremiah 17:9

9The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Timely.

I had a discussion with someone who was rationalizing their sin on the basis of their own material convenience and pride. Didn't want to do it but the Lord brought this person and their story right to me- I prayed for grace, was discomforted but clearly, calmly stated what I wanted to yell...

The Christian life is about suffering, doing the right in God's sight and being willing to suffer for it. To seek pleasing God above all else, to take up your cross and bear it daily for the honor and glory of our Lord, looking toward spiritual reward.

Matthew 10:38

38And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

This is not the way of this world, and too often not the way of many of God's people. I can only marvel at His mercy on our self-centered, self seeking, self destructive, self justifying, idolatrous ways.
 
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