This Babylon Bee article is spot on

[LadyCalvinist]

Best Christmas Gifts For Christians Of Each Denomination

Christians can be hard to buy gifts for. You've gotta know what they're into, what kinds of gifts they'd consider sinful, and most of all, what denomination they're a part of. There's no holiday faux pas like accidentally gifting a John MacArthur book to a charismatic. Avoid embarrassment this...

babylonbee.com

 

[Northern Crofter]

I'm sure some will find offense, but at times you have to be able to appreciate satire and laugh at yourself. I do like imperial stouts and am parked pretty firmly on the outskirts of the TR camp, but I still found many of these jabs to be in the funny-but-true category. I did not realize that a cappella singing is the norm in Churches of Christ, and someone will have to explain the folding chair gift for the Russian Orthodox - I'm pretty sure I'm overthinking that one and will feel dumb after the explanation....

 

[Logan]

I think they

someone will have to explain the folding chair gift for the Russian Orthodox

I think they traditionally stand through the entirety of their services.

 

[Reformed Covenanter]

What would you buy @NaphtaliPress as a gift for Xmas?

 

[NaphtaliPress]

No white elephants or regifting; something very nice and expensive; don't expect any reciprocation.

What would you buy @NaphtaliPress as a gift for Xmas?

 

[JD]

I did not realize that a cappella singing is the norm in Churches of Christ

I spent about 8 months in a Church of Christ as a young man figuring things out. In my experience they are just as vigilant about instruments as the RPCNA.

 

[Jake]

I spent about 8 months in a Church of Christ as a young man figuring things out. In my experience they are just as vigilant about instruments as the RPCNA.

They have a sort of Regulative Principle of Worship, but they express it more simply and are heavily reliant on the New Testament alone for their doctrine of worship. They look for a command to do anything they do in worship, and lacking a command, will not use instruments. There are some who call themselves CoC who have adopted instruments, but traditionally CoC and a capella go hand-in-hand.

I also have a guess that part of it is because early CoC'ers were first Presbyterians (look up Alexander Campbell) who had been a capella singers, but I admittedly don't know the full history.

 

[Logan]

There are a couple of people from Church of Christ at work and my understanding is similar to Jake's: they are acapella because they pretty much discount the Old Testament and look strictly to the New Testament for practices. A little different from the Reformed understanding of acapella.

 

[MilitaryBrat2007]

The Baptist one should have been a Drinking Bird toy that fully immerses

 

[Phil D.]

I think for us redneck Baptists potluck (err... sorry... "covered-dish meal"... ) accessories are pretty spot-on...

 

[lynnie]

Did you know BB are prophets? Lol.

"Reality Is At Fault": Tucker Sits Down With Babylon Bee's Seth Dillon | ZeroHedge

ZeroHedge - On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero

www.zerohedge.com

According to Carlson, Dillon isn't just a humorist, but as a modern-day prophet based on the sheer number of times that Babylon Bee headlines have come true (we recommend reading the actual articles too - as they're absolutely hilarious).

"It turns out and we went through quite a few examples of the Babylon Bee's parody stories that have come true in dozens, scores, nearly 100 cases," said Carlson, who asked Dillon: "So when you see the news story that confirms what you thought was a pretty out there joke, what's your reaction?"

"I mean, we're getting accustomed to it at this point," Dillon replied. "It's reached a level where it's almost impossible to tell the difference between what's reported as facts by the news media and what someone with a dark sense of humor has made up.”

It's tough to beat reality.

 

[Edward]

@LadyCalvinist When did the Bee quit posting satire?

 

[Edward]

What would you buy @NaphtaliPress as a gift for Xmas?

Maybe a premium ticket to the Prestonwood Christmas show? $69 (plus processing fee) includes reserved parking; $25 more (plus processing fee) for the buffet. Maybe another $10 to cover the tolls.

 

[LadyCalvinist]

Edward, I don't know, I only recently started following them.

 

[Ploutos]

Maybe a premium ticket to the Prestonwood Christmas show? $69 (plus processing fee) includes reserved parking; $25 more (plus processing fee) for the buffet. Maybe another $10 to cover the tolls.

Director's cut of "Miracle on 34th Street"... nothing better captures the true meaning of Christmas.

 

[Northern Crofter]

They have a sort of Regulative Principle of Worship, but they express it more simply and are heavily reliant on the New Testament alone for their doctrine of worship. They look for a command to do anything they do in worship, and lacking a command, will not use instruments. There are some who call themselves CoC who have adopted instruments, but traditionally CoC and a capella go hand-in-hand.

I also have a guess that part of it is because early CoC'ers were first Presbyterians (look up Alexander Campbell) who had been a capella singers, but I admittedly don't know the full history.

That is interesting - I was raised amongst a lot of Amish and Mennonites in PA (and still live amongst them as many have moved to northern NY), and they, too, were a capella. The Baptist congregation I grew up in was probably 1/3 ex-Mennonite/Amish (including my mother) and it was common to drop the piano when singing certain hymns or stanzas. But I have noticed that the Mennonites, lacking any real written standards, have by and large abandoned the a capella tradition, seemingly in a single generation (whereas the Amish, still maintain the practice - but the ones I have spoken to have no Biblical explanation for doing so, being instead simply slaves to tradition).