Wisdom With Our Words

[Ryan&Amber2013]

Hello friends. I hope all is well. Please share some wisdom you have gained through your experience.

I always want to use my words perfectly, but at times it seems certain types of people can take things I say the wrong way. I know this isn't always my problem, as some people's emotional/phycological problems make them unsteady in life.

I never have ill intentions when speaking to anyone. I always try to speak to others in a friendly, thoughtful way, and I like to be silly and light-hearted. I'm always trying to be conscious about how I come across to others, and I enjoy carrying conversations with people, so I am comfortable with talking.

Is it best to be friendly and outgoing, and joke a bit with people, or is it best to be a quiet and reserved person, making sure we don't offend anyone or come across the wrong way?

It's sad that I even have to discuss this, but this is what our world is coming to. I just want to make others happy, but knowing I may make some emotionally unstable person upset over my outgoingness is really discouraging. And I'm not speaking of anything sinful, like inappropriate talk.

How do you go about this? Thanks so much!

 

[Ethan]

Is it best to be friendly and outgoing, and joke a bit with people, or is it best to be a quiet and reserved person, making sure we don't offend anyone or come across the wrong way?

I think most people can appreciate joking around but if conversation is consistently revolving entirely around jokes then it may get cumbersome for some. As the preacher says, There’s a time for everything. I don’t think quiet and reserved is something an outgoing person necessarily needs to aim for but general observance of how interactions go with certain types of people can certainly help determine how future encounters might play out and when you need to tone it down.

 

[arapahoepark]

Hello friends. I hope all is well. Please share some wisdom you have gained through your experience.

I always want to use my words perfectly, but at times it seems certain types of people can take things I say the wrong way. I know this isn't always my problem, as some people's emotional/phycological problems make them unsteady in life.

I never have ill intentions when speaking to anyone. I always try to speak to others in a friendly, thoughtful way, and I like to be silly and light-hearted. I'm always trying to be conscious about how I come across to others, and I enjoy carrying conversations with people, so I am comfortable with talking.

Is it best to be friendly and outgoing, and joke a bit with people, or is it best to be a quiet and reserved person, making sure we don't offend anyone or come across the wrong way?

It's sad that I even have to discuss this, but this is what our world is coming to. I just want to make others happy, but knowing I may make some emotionally unstable person upset over my outgoingness is really discouraging. And I'm not speaking of anything sinful, like inappropriate talk.

How do you go about this? Thanks so much!

Trying to balance both personalities as a teacher and an introvert has been something I am giving a lot of thought to. I have to be careful with my sarcastic humor, though I have introduced it innocently enough that students know what I mean.
I haven't struck a balance where I can advise across the spectrum. Truthfully, I lean toward keep to yourself when in doubt. Might be why I haven't got a lot lf dates under my belt but, whatever. Not that my humor is inappropriate, I just try to make it so obviously sarcastic and if I can't then I won't this day in age. Might make me a crotchety guy among a bunch of people who giggle over every little thing but, like I said, whatever.

 

[Ryan&Amber2013]

Thanks for the thoughts. I think I narrowed down my circumstances, and maybe what's most important in this area right now is trying to figure out how to speak around toxic people. By toxic I mean someone who has a very unhealthy emotional/mental life, who does not perceive things and act as a mature person would.

If a person like this is regularly in my life, do I change who I am when around them, or just keep being my normal self and realize their problem isn't mine and I shouldn't concern myself with their inward sin?

 

[Ethan]

If a person like this is regularly in my life, do I change who I am when around them, or just keep being my normal self and realize their problem isn't mine and I shouldn't concern myself with their

Proverbs 26:4-5 comes to mind. It’s probably a cop out answer but I think even for an individual like that there is a time to be yourself and a time to show restraint.

 

[Ben Zartman]

I find it far better to be mostly quiet until whomever it is becomes comfortable around me. While perpetual quietness can be seen as creepy (that guy just sits there and stares!), it's far more common to hear people complain of someone talking too much.
Some folk are just going to be grumpy no matter what, and you can pick up that clue and stop trying to engage. There's plenty of people I simply don't bother trying to talk to.
Some people may just be socially awkward and need to be drawn out gently without either loud ribaldry or super-serious probing questions. I usually ask about what they do for work, and then get details about that. It's sufficiently impersonal that it doesn't seem like you're prying into their personal lives, while letting them get comfortable around you.
The last thing you want to do is just talk about yourself--that really turns 'em all off.