Working Women

[Osage Bluestem]

Is it ok for a smart talented woman who is profitable and loves what she does to support her husband?

I know a situation where a woman is a CEO of her own profitable company and makes a huge amount of money. Her husband isn't nearly as talented and if he were the bread winner the family would be middle class to lower middle class.

She makes about $400,000 and up. He has the earnings potential of $40,000 or so.

There are two children, a hired nanny/degreed educator, maid, so on so forth, the husband dabbles in moding and selling classic cars.

Any issues with that situation?

 

[Scott1]

You likely will get much interest generated with this topic.

It's difficult to answer your post definitively because situations differ very much which is why I think it more helpful to focus on the biblical principles that apply generally to home.

The burden of providing for the family falls primarily on the husband. What's more the husband is responsible to protect his wife, as much as possible from the harshness of the toil of that kind of support.

A woman is not to place a career above God and family (neither can the man as head of household, though he bears the primary burden).

But there are plenty of occasional, incidental and exceptional circumstances which do not allow us to make a categorical imperative. This is made even more difficult to generalize when we apply monetary value comparisons (as in the original post).

Consider for example, a man struggling to launch a new business as self employed that might actually lose money the first two years while a wife's part time job actually earns more. I know even of medical doctors who struggled financially when they first began their practice, but later went on to earn big incomes.

 

[Osage Bluestem]

Issues:

Middle to lower class with parents parenting is better than riches with a nanny as a mom.

Women are not to be breadwinners. There may be occasions where it's necessary for a woman to work for a time if extreme things happen. If a nanny has to be hired than it sure seems like mum is neglecting her duties.

1 Tim. 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

The mother has a nursury built onto her office at the building she works at so the kids could be with her.

The nanny was hired primarily because she is a degreed educator and the parents both agreed that she would be a huge advantage to the children's education. The kids will probably be a grade or two ahead of everyone else if things go according to plan.

 

[Scottish Lass]

[ The kids will probably be a grade or two ahead of everyone else if things go according to plan.

Which is also often true when the children are homeschooled by the parents...

 

[Nathan Riese]

Let's go hypothetical here:

IF it is biblically wrong for the wife to be the breadwinner,
THEN this wife should hand over the job. End of story. Agreed?


Here are some things to consider practically:

1. WHO CARES how much money it is. If it's 20,000, or 20 billion, the amount is irrelevant if it's biblically wrong.

2. WHO CARES what the "class" status is. What's it matter if one is in the upper class or in the middle class? they ARE reformed, right? (you are too, right?)

3. Is $40,000 not enough to provide? Is there really a need for more income? What's the situation? are they in debt, etc.?

4. The logical slipperly slope does apply to this "situation"

(1) if $40,000 is adaquate provision,
(2) and if this situation is considered allowable,
(3) then so is any other wife working in any other family when the husband already makes enough to provide for the family,
(4) ANY family would benefit financially if both parents worked, so the "situation" you're presenting is more normative than exceptional.


So, In my humble opinion and in my conviction, YES, i see issues.

 

[Osage Bluestem]

Let's go hypothetical here:

IF it is biblically wrong for the wife to be the breadwinner,
THEN this wife should hand over the job. End of story. Agreed?


Here are some things to consider practically:

1. WHO CARES how much money it is. If it's 20,000, or 20 billion, the amount is irrelevant if it's biblically wrong.

2. WHO CARES what the "class" status is. What's it matter if one is in the upper class or in the middle class? they ARE reformed, right? (you are too, right?)

3. Is $40,000 not enough to provide? Is there really a need for more income? What's the situation? are they in debt, etc.?

4. The logical slipperly slope does apply to this "situation"

(1) if $40,000 is adaquate provision,
(2) and if this situation is considered allowable,
(3) then so is any other wife working in any other family when the husband already makes enough to provide for the family,
(4) ANY family would benefit financially if both parents worked, so the "situation" you're presenting is more normative than exceptional.


So, In my humble opinion and in my conviction, YES, i see issues.

Well, she's pretty smart and started the business herself and built it into a 20 million dollar a year company. Who could she hand it to? She is the sole person that knows everything about it, and has implemented her strategies to bring forth a hugh financial success that employs many people.

-----Added 11/23/2009 at 11:29:13 EST-----

This woman I am asking about is actually the owner and CEO of the company I work for.

 

[Scott1]

Having seen this sometimes among more materially wealthier people (e.g. "nannies"), and some of this in other cultures, I do not think an ordinary practice of sending young children away to someone else so mother can work outside the home can be sustained biblically. Nor does it seem practically wise.

I'm aware of situations where, for example, a married nurse worked all night two nights in a row, the children stayed with the husband then who took care of the children, then the wife had all the rest of the week, and all day times with her children. By doing this for a limited period of time, enough was saved to allow the wife to discontinue working altogether and pay for Christian schooling for the children (all without debt).

Even this would not be biblically right if the relationship priority, God and family was compromised.

 

[Notthemama1984]

Let's go hypothetical here:

IF it is biblically wrong for the wife to be the breadwinner,
THEN this wife should hand over the job. End of story. Agreed?


Here are some things to consider practically:

1. WHO CARES how much money it is. If it's 20,000, or 20 billion, the amount is irrelevant if it's biblically wrong.

2. WHO CARES what the "class" status is. What's it matter if one is in the upper class or in the middle class? they ARE reformed, right? (you are too, right?)

3. Is $40,000 not enough to provide? Is there really a need for more income? What's the situation? are they in debt, etc.?

4. The logical slipperly slope does apply to this "situation"

(1) if $40,000 is adaquate provision,
(2) and if this situation is considered allowable,
(3) then so is any other wife working in any other family when the husband already makes enough to provide for the family,
(4) ANY family would benefit financially if both parents worked, so the "situation" you're presenting is more normative than exceptional.


So, In my humble opinion and in my conviction, YES, i see issues.

Well, she's pretty smart and started the business herself and built it into a 20 million dollar a year company. Who could she hand it to? She is the sole person that knows everything about it, and has implemented her strategies to bring forth a hugh financial success that employs many people.

-----Added 11/23/2009 at 11:29:13 EST-----

This woman I am asking about is actually the owner and CEO of the company I work for.

If the business is 20 million, you don't hand it over. You sell the thing for 20 million and never work a day in your life. Who cares how much the husband makes at this point. 20 million can go a long long long long way.

 

[Scottish Lass]

[ Who could she hand it to? She is the sole person that knows everything about it, and has implemented her strategies to bring forth a hugh financial success that employs many people.

-----Added 11/23/2009 at 11:29:13 EST-----

This woman I am asking about is actually the owner and CEO of the company I work for.

And if a tragedy befell her tomorrow? I would argue that having no one capable to take over the company with a minimum of playing catch-up with the most recent financials is not wise.

As my husband just said, no one is irreplaceable.

 

[Notthemama1984]

I would also like to add that just because a woman makes more money than her husband is not necessarily unbiblical.

 

[rbcbob]

Is this a Christian home? The Word of God is clear and does not leave the matter up to personal/cultural preferences.

Titus 2:4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

1 Timothy 5:14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

 

[Notthemama1984]

Is this a Christian home? The Word of God is clear and does not leave the matter up to personal/cultural preferences.

Titus 2:4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

1 Timothy 5:14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

If a wife is performing all of these things, then why would it be wrong to work?

When my wife and I were first married, our lives were simple and it only took a few hours a day to complete all the wifey things. For a time she was contemplating getting a job out of sheer boredom.

 

[Marrow Man]

As my husband just said, no one is irreplaceable.

Let me qualify that -- no one is irreplaceable, except Jesus.

 

[Osage Bluestem]

Is this a Christian home? The Word of God is clear and does not leave the matter up to personal/cultural preferences.

Titus 2:4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

1 Timothy 5:14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

The woman is a Christian. She attends non-denominational bible churches. She has a Lutheran/Baptist background. She also listens to Christian praise music a lot.

The man has a Roman Catholic background but does not attend Church anywhere.

 

[MMasztal]

1 Tim. 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

I think this is a straw man argument, Joshua.

My wife has a PhD and is a VP in a large consulting firm. She makes much more than I do as a Christian school teacher (that's not saying much), but now even more than I did as chiropractor with a successful practice in years past.

Her drive came from experiencing her father dying when she was 15. She and her mother had to live on Social Security and her mother's earnings, who had been the stay-at-home-mom and didn't have the skills/experience to make a sufficient income to support a family. And their financial difficulties weren't a result of poor financial planning either. Her father had illnesses which precluded him from obtaining life insurance other than the small amount his company offered. Neither did they live and extravagant lifestyle.

She doesn't place her career above God or our family. Also, as you know, Proverbs speaks well of the industrious woman.

 

[Andres]

Is it ok for a smart talented woman who is profitable and loves what she does to support her husband?

I know a situation where a woman is a CEO of her own profitable company and makes a huge amount of money. Her husband isn't nearly as talented and if he were the bread winner the family would be middle class to lower middle class.

She makes about $400,000 and up. He has the earnings potential of $40,000 or so.

There are two children, a hired nanny/degreed educator, maid, so on so forth, the husband dabbles in moding and selling classic cars.

Any issues with that situation?

David,
The only argument I can find FOR this woman working is because they will be alot wealthier than if she does not. I find nowhere in scripture where wealth should be the factor in our decisions. On the contrary, I find several passages that deal with us guarding against allowing wealth drive our lives.

 

[ColdSilverMoon]

I would echo some of the other posts here: if her first priorities are truly God and home, then I don't have a problem with her working. If work trumps her taking care of the home, then she either needs to change her work situation or quit altogether.

 

[toddpedlar]

Issues:

Middle to lower class with parents parenting is better than riches with a nanny as a mom.

Women are not to be breadwinners. There may be occasions where it's necessary for a woman to work for a time if extreme things happen. If a nanny has to be hired than it sure seems like mum is neglecting her duties.

1 Tim. 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

The mother has a nursury built onto her office at the building she works at so the kids could be with her.

So? They can't be with her as mom, but as someone whose "more important" work needs to be interrupted when Sally skins her knee. This is not a good situation in the least.

The nanny was hired primarily because she is a degreed educator and the parents both agreed that she would be a huge advantage to the children's education. The kids will probably be a grade or two ahead of everyone else if things go according to plan.

So what? Where they will be ahead of everyone else is totally irrelevant.

What the family makes together with her income is also completely irrelevant when it comes to judging whether this is a good situation or not.

 

[Awenwonder]

There is a good book that brings alot of solid biblical perspective to this issue. "So Much More" by Anna and Elizabeth Botkin. It does not preclude a woman working but really does a good job of getting the reader to think about what it really looks like and means to put God, husband, and family first before working outside the home. I would recommend reading this book to get a firmer grasp on the biblical principles behind this issue.

I don't believe it is inherently wrong for a wife to work as it is certainly demonstrated in Prov 31 but this issue has really been a tool of Satan to destroy families and churches over the last century. "Screwtape Letters" by CS Lewis speaks to Satan's strategy of keeping the Christian family too busy to keep our priorities based upon biblical/God's priorities for u

If anyone is considering having their wife work beyond the responsibilities of the family (which are considerable, many minimalize what it really takes to keep a family going), I would plead with them to spend alot of time in ernest prayer and waiting/listening to God. Prepare your heart to be sensitive to what God really wants for your family and listen carefully with the ears/eyes of your heart wide open. This is a serious issue for a family to decide. Don't take it lightly.

 

[rbcbob]

Is this a Christian home? The Word of God is clear and does not leave the matter up to personal/cultural preferences.

Titus 2:4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

1 Timothy 5:14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

If a wife is performing all of these things, then why would it be wrong to work?

When my wife and I were first married, our lives were simple and it only took a few hours a day to complete all the wifey things. For a time she was contemplating getting a job out of sheer boredom.

Titus 2:4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

1 Timothy 5:14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house οικοδεσποτεω, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

[/QUOTE]

οικοδεσποτεω is a very strong word in the original [rule, master a household] and informs us of her sphere of labor and domain.

 

[Notthemama1984]

Is this a Christian home? The Word of God is clear and does not leave the matter up to personal/cultural preferences.

If a wife is performing all of these things, then why would it be wrong to work?

When my wife and I were first married, our lives were simple and it only took a few hours a day to complete all the wifey things. For a time she was contemplating getting a job out of sheer boredom.

Titus 2:4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

1 Timothy 5:14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house οικοδεσποτεω, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

οικοδεσποτεω is a very strong word in the original [rule, master a household] and informs us of her sphere of labor and domain.[/QUOTE]

I was not trying to point out that it isn't work or isn't hard to be a wife and mom. I am just saying that I am not seeing anything immoral for a woman to work in her free time.

 

[he beholds]

I would say that the situation described in the OP does not sound like an ideal home, but that perhaps the family actually does thrive as a Christian one anyway.

I doubt that I personally could best glorify God, best honor my husband, and best care for my children with the demands of running a company, but I cannot say FOR SURE, that another woman can't. (Though I have my doubts.)

 

[lynnie]

I don't think the amount of money a woman makes is a justification for what she does. The question is if she is in the will of God about what she is actually doing. A good prostitute can legally pull in 2,000-3,000 a night (so I heard on TV, I've no experience in that area!). I don't think relative salaries should have ANY bearing on the debate.

 

[Montanablue]

This is a little off topic, but I think it might be good to move this thread into the Coffee Shop, since we're discussing the family situation of David's boss. You never know who could drop in...