Evangelistic Dating?

[dudley]

He had requested a dispensation from his bishop to be married in the Presbyterian church of his fiance in a Presbyterian ceremony.

If I understand you correctly, it appears to be a Presbyterian church where the elders didn't subscribe to the Westminster standards, or at least took a large exception to one of the paragraphs.

I think you might have misunderstood me.The young man was a Roman catholic and requested permission from the rc bishop to be married in the Presbyterian church in a Presbyterian ceremony. The Presbyterian church does adhere to the Westminster standards. However he is now going to become a Presbyterian and he is no longer a roman catholic.

Perhaps so. Are you saying that at the time he went to his Bishop, the Presbyterian church where he wanted to marry had not agreed to host the event, and that the Presbyterian pastor had not agreed to perform the wedding?

Edward again I think you are misundersatnding what I am saying...the Roman catholic diocese requires a Roman catholic to get permission to marry in a Protestant church. The Presbyterian pastor did agree to perform the wedding.
The matter is mute now however because the young man has decided to leave the Roman catholic church and become a Presbyterian. He will make a public affirmation of faith on March 7th in the Presbyterian church.

 

[Mushroom]

The Presbyterian pastor did agree to perform the wedding.

I think the point Edward is making is that a Presbyterian Pastor and Session who held to the WCF would not marry a Presbyterian woman to an RC man. Whether the point is moot now or not, that Session is guilty of an aggregious violation of our standards in yoking a member under their care as shepherds to what by all outward appearances was a wolf at the time of the wedding.

 

[dudley]

The Presbyterian pastor did agree to perform the wedding.

I think the point Edward is making is that a Presbyterian Pastor and Session who held to the WCF would not marry a Presbyterian woman to an RC man. Whether the point is moot now or not, that Session is guilty of an aggregious violation of our standards in yoking a member under their care as shepherds to what by all outward appearances was a wolf at the time of the wedding.

I think I am still being misunderstood. I will try to explain the situation one more time....The Presbyterian minister and our session were most welcoming to the couple. The Roman catholic church was making it difficult for the catholic young man to marry in a Presbyterian ceremony with only a Presbyterian minister and no catholic priest. He was a practicing and regular mass going Roman catholic and was wanting to please his fiance by having the ceremony in her church, our Presbyterian congregation. He was going to remain Roman catholic. Because we welcomed him with open arms he came to our family class after the couple made the catholic pre canna conference in the catholic church. He was impressed by our family class after the 3rd session and was invited to worship with us the following Sunday. He did and was also inspired by the service. He decided to join our inquirers class and study the Westminster confession of faith and the catechism of the Presbyterian church.
A few weeks ago he did say in the class that he accepted the Protestant doctrine of Justification. He did not realize it that day it took about a week more for him to realize he had become a Protestant by accepting that belief.
He was approved for acceptance in the Presbyterian church after a meeting with the Elders last Wednesday. His name will be announced and published to the congregation this Sunday and Feb 28th. He will make a Public affirmation of faith at the 11 Am service on March 7th and also be admitted to the Lords Supper as a Presbyterian at the same service which is our monthly celebration of The Lords Supper. It was the fact that our Presbyterian church and minister were very welcoming and that the rc church was not that he is now becoming a Presbyterian.

 

[Edward]

I think I am still being misunderstood. I will try to explain the situation one more time....The Presbyterian minister and our session were most welcoming to the couple. The Roman catholic church was making it difficult for the catholic young man to marry in a Presbyterian ceremony with only a Presbyterian minister and no catholic priest. He was a practicing and regular mass going Roman catholic and was wanting to please his fiance by having the ceremony in her church, our Presbyterian congregation. He was going to remain Roman catholic.

OK, I did understand your original post correctly. If it was a Presbyterian church in a confessional denomination, based on the facts as recited here the pastor should have been brought up on charges before the Presbytery. The fact that it appears that it may work out well in the end doesn't excuse the plan to go forward with the wedding in the church while it was his intention to remain in Rome. The priest appears to have had a better grasp of things than did the Presbyterians.

 

[dudley]

The Presbyterian church was more than willing to marry the couple in the Presbyteria

Edward the Presbyterian church was more than willing to marry the couple in the Presbyterian church in a Presbyterian ceremony even if the young man remained a roman catholic. It was the catholic church that was making it difficult.

 

[py3ak]

Edward the Presbyterian church was more than willing to marry the couple in the Presbyterian church in a Presbyterian ceremony even if the young man remained a roman catholic. It was the catholic church that was making it difficult.

Dudley, that's exactly the problem. A Presbyterian minister should NOT be willing to marry a Presbyterian girl to a papist fellow. It's cause for thankfulness that young man is now a Presbyterian; but until he renounced the papacy the young lady should have been strongly discouraged from any kind of romantic involvement with him.

 

[Sweaty Deacon]

I would agree with most here that "evangelical dating" is wrong. I have seen this first hand with some very good friends of mine. Their daughter befriended a very nice Jewish boy in college. She was the oldest daughter, a real daddy's little girl, apparently thought she could handle this relationship and minister to the young man. long story short, she fell in love, wanted to get married. Dad said no way, many long nights in his study both with Bibles open presenting their positions from Scripture. Daughter, who is just as sweet as she could be, certainly was not holding close to the 5th commandment. Daddy, thankfully had God on his side, and time and distance, which God used in this instance to make the boy's heart go wander rather than grow fonder.

In my own life, I grew up in the SBC. I met a girl who was from the PC(USA). At the time neither of us were going to church regularly. When we decided to begin to start going back to church, she couldn't take that the SBC wouldn't recognize her sprinkling as sufficient baptism, and I couldn't take the PC(US) squishy doctrine. We went down a long and painful road that I was convinced was irreconcilable. Thankfully, God had other plans and changed both our hearts. I learned that I was always a Calvinist in my heart, and my wife learned that she wasn't the liberal her sister said she ought to be.

Back to the OP, I don't think evangelism and dating mix. God may use the situation, yes. But on the whole, it is fraught with peril and would best be left alone

 

[dudley]

Edward the Presbyterian church was more than willing to marry the couple in the Presbyterian church in a Presbyterian ceremony even if the young man remained a roman catholic. It was the catholic church that was making it difficult.

Dudley, that's exactly the problem. A Presbyterian minister should NOT be willing to marry a Presbyterian girl to a papist fellow. It's cause for thankfulness that young man is now a Presbyterian; but until he renounced the papacy the young lady should have been strongly discouraged from any kind of romantic involvement with him.

I can agree with you on that point. I am also thankful he has renounced the papacy and roman catholicism. When he joined the inquirers class I had a feeling he would be become one of the elect of God and be freed of the bondage of popery as I too was.

 

[Edward]

It was the catholic church that was making it difficult.

And they deserve credit for that.

At this point, I'm just hoping that we are talking Cumberland or PCUSA. (Acknowledging that there are faithful folks in each).

 

[Susanna]

Could the non-believer, while they remain unbelieving ever understand the very best part of the Christian? Would one spouse (any spouse) ever wish for their own spouse not to "get" the very best part of who they are at the deepest level?

I've never been married but I'm thinking there's nothing that can replace that "knowing" of one another. I'm sure there are many kinds of "knowing" one another that are great but it might be like the difference in "believing" in God and in "knowing" God. Those who "know" God would never wish to just "believe" again, though they're thankful they did come to believe ... "knowing" is irreplaceable, inexchangeable, unmatch-able (if that's a word). Matchless.

 

[Susanna]

1 Cor 7:39
2 Cor 6:14
Deut 7:3
Neh 13:25
Eph 5:7, 11
1 John 1:6
Acts 26:18
Exodus 34:16
Josh 23:12, 13
1 Kgs 11:
Ezra 9:2
Eph 3:6
Gal. 3:29
1 Cor 3:23