Preaching Help; Critique My Sermon

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I'm sorry, but I have to head out to work in a few minutes. I did read the first couple of paragraphs and I noticed you used the word "would" a great deal.
 
Structure-wise, it is well balanced on the amount of material on each of your points. The intro could be more explicit in stating the overall theme the text is driving home.

Sylistic point, I think calling Paul a "killjoy" could be misunderstood. Though I know you intend to be ironic, it should be followed by a repudiation of that label, that in truth, preaching/Word is the ONLY SOURCE OF JOY that can be found in this world. It isn't in the whizbang methodologies of today, as that supposed joy is fleeting. As the disciples said to Jesus, "where can we go, Lord, you have the words of life"!

Also, generally speaking, the gospel message itself and Christ's cross could be more expanded upon.

On the conclusion, I think the rhetorical questions are fine. But I'm not sure I'd want to end the sermon with those questions hanging. You may consider answering them forcefully with some indicatives, calling the congregation to prepare their hearts, calling on all to trust in the Word and the Christ of the Word, their efficacy, to repent for being shallow, stony, to find true joy in the deep rooted soil that Christ has provided.........etc...............

Just some observations. Overall, good job.
 
It might be helpful to develop this aspect of the parable a little bit more
yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporary and when affliction or persecution arises because of the word immediately he falls away.”
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"Having no root in himself" It is required that all have root in themselves. Your parents root, or your pastor's root is good as an example, but you must have root in yourself, young or old.
What does it mean to have "root in yourself"
What might that look like in a young person?
" '' " '' ' in an older person?
How does that root manifest fruit/publically and privately?
Good works, prayer life, bible study,joy in the heart, mortifying sin?

:book2:
 
If you have a recording I'll gladly listen. I always try to listen to a couple of different sermons each week. I don't think there is full value in critiquing a 'script' - because unless you read it word for word, the sermon will be a little different. We also don't get to hear your emphasis or tone, which all matters. So if you have an MP3 please let us know!
 
JonathanHunt said:
If you have a recording I'll gladly listen. I always try to listen to a couple of different sermons each week. I don't think there is full value in critiquing a 'script' - because unless you read it word for word, the sermon will be a little different. We also don't get to hear your emphasis or tone, which all matters. So if you have an MP3 please let us know!
Click to expand...

Thanks I'll have it up on my blog in about 30 minutes.
 
By the way I noticed that my Pastor's sermon from a while ago was taped on the same tape and begins right after mine. So though the file is 36 minutes long my sermon is 24 minutes.

Just an FYI
 
My only critique is that you ought to convert it to mp3 the next time. :)

You have a very comfortable and understandable delivery. You provided excellent illustrations and made excellent application of the passage.

Interestingly, I was making some of the application you made when I taught on Acts 10 yesterday (Acts 10 | Central Baptist Church, Okinawa, Japan). I was pointing out how Cornelius was so expectant of the News he was about to receive.

Thanks for sharing the message.
 
Semper Fidelis said:
My only critique is that you ought to convert it to mp3 the next time. :)

You have a very comfortable and understandable delivery. You provided excellent illustrations and made excellent application of the passage.

Interestingly, I was making some of the application you made when I taught on Acts 10 yesterday (Acts 10 | Central Baptist Church, Okinawa, Japan). I was pointing out how Cornelius was so expectant of the News he was about to receive.

Thanks for sharing the message.
Click to expand...

Your Welcome and Thanks!!!
 
Semper Fidelis said:
My only critique is that you ought to convert it to mp3 the next time. :)

You have a very comfortable and understandable delivery. You provided excellent illustrations and made excellent application of the passage.

Interestingly, I was making some of the application you made when I taught on Acts 10 yesterday (Acts 10 | Central Baptist Church, Okinawa, Japan). I was pointing out how Cornelius was so expectant of the News he was about to receive.

Thanks for sharing the message.
Click to expand...

It's off topic, but Rich, could you quickly advise why you prefer the Mp3 over the format Ben uses?
 
mvdm said:
Semper Fidelis said:
My only critique is that you ought to convert it to mp3 the next time. :)

You have a very comfortable and understandable delivery. You provided excellent illustrations and made excellent application of the passage.

Interestingly, I was making some of the application you made when I taught on Acts 10 yesterday (Acts 10 | Central Baptist Church, Okinawa, Japan). I was pointing out how Cornelius was so expectant of the News he was about to receive.

Thanks for sharing the message.
Click to expand...

It's off topic, but Rich, could you quickly advise why you prefer the Mp3 over the format Ben uses?
Click to expand...

As an aside the only reason I use that format is because of the website I upload it to uses it. It is originally an MP3.
 
Should have posted this the other day while it was fresh in my mind, sorry for the delay.

Very nice delivery. You seem very comfortable. Your illustrations were appropriate to the text and I thought you made good application. I also thought that your point/illustration about what people do during the preaching of the Word was very bold. I believe you've demonstrated one of the chief marks of a good preacher, fear of God rather than fear of man.
 
Southern Presbyterian said:
Should have posted this the other day while it was fresh in my mind, sorry for the delay.

Very nice delivery. You seem very comfortable. Your illustrations were appropriate to the text and I thought you made good application. I also thought that your point/illustration about what people do during the preaching of the Word was very bold. I believe you've demonstrated one of the chief marks of a good preacher, fear of God rather than fear of man.
Click to expand...

Thanks Southern.
 
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