Question to the Pastors

[BJClark]

Do you send Cards or Call the members of your congregation on their Birthday?

Our former pastor sent Birthday cards with a Bible verse and a short prayer of encouragement, and our present Pastor calls and sings Happy Birthday and encourages us with a Bible verse as well.


I know my children loved the cards from our former pastor, and is one of the things they mentioned they would miss when He retired. They've never recieved lots of birthday cards from family so that one card really made them feel important to the Pastor. Knowing He cared enough about them to take the time to pray and search out a verse and say a short prayer just for them.

And knowing the new pastor call's people on birthday's they are looking forward to that.

So I was just wondering if any other Pastors do the same thing for the members of your congregations.

 

[BJClark]

joshua

Nobody said it had to be 'on key' and anyone can sing Happy Birthday.

Assuming the Pastors can sing...

 

[DTK]

Originally posted by BJClark
Do you send Cards or Call the members of your congregation on their Birthday?

Our former pastor sent Birthday cards with a Bible verse and a short prayer of encouragement, and our present Pastor calls and sings Happy Birthday and encourages us with a Bible verse as well.


I know my children loved the cards from our former pastor, and is one of the things they mentioned they would miss when He retired. They've never recieved lots of birthday cards from family so that one card really made them feel important to the Pastor. Knowing He cared enough about them to take the time to pray and search out a verse and say a short prayer just for them.

And knowing the new pastor call's people on birthday's they are looking forward to that.

So I was just wondering if any other Pastors do the same thing for the members of your congregations.

Dear Bobbi,

I am glad to hear that your former pastor did that. Is it possible that his secretary stayed on top of that sort of thing for him?

I have never done that, although here and there I have bought gifts for some young people whom I thought were discouraged and needed a little extra encouragement of love. Generally, I do not send out such cards for fear that, in the very practice, I might miss someone and "catch the devil" for it. What most lay people don't know is that a Pastor (at least from my own experience, and the experiences of other pastors I know) is often cornered and read the riot act for something such and such a person thinks he should have done and/or neglected to do. When people ask me what aspect of the pastorate bothers me most, my response has now become uniform, uncommunicated and unrealistic expectations of people. I have found that people most often get angry with a pastor over expectations, whether they're uncommunicated or not, and whether they're unrealistic or not.

Pastors do have the responsibility to love and care for their flock. However, they can't be expected to scratch every perceived itch, or to meet every particular expectation that a person has formed. If I may say so, it would be in the best interests of your children (especially in future years) to explain to them that not every pastor is as observant and sensitive in one particular area that he may be in other areas. You don't want your children to grow up feeling hurt and put off by pastors because they failed to meet some particular expectation, especially if there is no particular biblical command for that expectation. Any given pastor may express his love for the children of his congregation through other means. May our Lord be pleased to bless your children with every spiritual blessing, and cause them to grow up loving God's servants who labor as those who must give account for their souls.

Just my thoughts,
DTK

 

[BJClark]

DTK,

His secretary may have given him a list of all the birthday's in a given month, but he personally wrote out each of the cards.

It was actually one of the things mentioned at his retirement ceremony, about his 'chicken scratch' and how some people went to his secretary and asked her to decipher it.

I learned a long time ago, pastors are just people and they will disappoint you sometimes, just like others do.

We have been members of a few churches over the years and no other pastors have done that, so it's not something they 'expect' from all pastors. It's just something these pastors do, that mean a lot to them.

[Edited on 12-5-2005 by BJClark]

 

[turmeric]

Good grief, where did he find the time? Was it a very small church?

 

[BJClark]

He made the time whether in the evenings at home, or setting aside time during his day to get it done, knowing him he probably scheduled it into work day.

With our new pastor, he calls when he can, Last week was my son's birthday and he called my son in the evening, mine was over the weekend, and he called me today on his day off. On my husbands birthday, he called from his cell phone, and as my husband was at work, I gave him his work number and he called him there.

It's not a mega-church, but we have over 600 families, and you consider he calls everyone, including the children, so yeah, that's a lot of people.

Good grief, where did he find the time? Was it a very small church?

 

[Pergamum]

Ha!

"It's not a mega-church, but we have over 600 families"


Man oh man.....sounds like a Mega-church from what I am used to!

 

[BJClark]

trevorjohnson,


I just noticed your in Indonesia, so yes, I can see how it could be considered a Mega-Church from your perspective.

However, I live on the outskirts of a city with over a Million people. So to say we have over 600 families really isn't a lot, there are much larger churches in our area, one of which consists of some 4 city blocks.

(I stand corrected, "In 1993, the congregation moved into its present auditorium which seats nearly 10,000. This magnificent worship center is a part of a church campus that covers more than 9 city blocks.")

This to me is a Mega Church

Mega Church

[Edited on 12-6-2005 by BJClark]

[Edited on 12-6-2005 by BJClark]

 

[Gregg]

Originally posted by BJClark
He made the time whether in the evenings at home, or setting aside time during his day to get it done, knowing him he probably scheduled it into work day.

 

[Puritan Sailor]

Originally posted by DTK
What most lay people don't know is that a Pastor (at least from my own experience, and the experiences of other pastors I know) is often cornered and read the riot act for something such and such a person thinks he should have done and/or neglected to do. When people ask me what aspect of the pastorate bothers me most, my response has now become uniform, uncommunicated and unrealistic expectations of people. I have found that people most often get angry with a pastor over expectations, whether they're uncommunicated or not, and whether they're unrealistic or not.

I'm just curious David, since a may be in your shoes soon, how do you handle these "cornering" situations?

 

[DTK]

Originally posted by puritansailor

Originally posted by DTK
What most lay people don't know is that a Pastor (at least from my own experience, and the experiences of other pastors I know) is often cornered and read the riot act for something such and such a person thinks he should have done and/or neglected to do. When people ask me what aspect of the pastorate bothers me most, my response has now become uniform, uncommunicated and unrealistic expectations of people. I have found that people most often get angry with a pastor over expectations, whether they're uncommunicated or not, and whether they're unrealistic or not.

I'm just curious David, since a may be in your shoes soon, how do you handle these "cornering" situations?

Patrick,

I think this is a fair question. But since it detracts from the thread, I will begin another thread in the "Pastoral Concerns Forum" and address it. So look for it there. It has always been difficult for me, when faced with such confrontations, and it's taken me years just to come to the place to where I can begin to think I might have some light on such encounters. One of the greatest helps to me has been none other than Calvin himself. I'll try to post a little bit on it tonight or tomorrow with the invitation for other pastors to share their insights. Thank God that the Sun of wisdom does not rise and set on the head of one man alone, but on the corporate heads of many men with whom God has gifted His church.

This is one area that seminary left me utterly unprepared to face.

DTK

 

[Puritan Sailor]

Thanks! I look forward to it.