Hi Jeremy,
If I may, I'd like to offer a few suggestions. Video production is a major aspect of my work and something I do on a weekly basis, so perhaps this might be helpful.
First, good job. Looks like you're getting a good grasp of using the software. May I ask what program you were using? Are you on a Mac or PC. Some of the effects looked like Motion, but others I wasn't so familiar with. I assume, though, if you're using Motion then you're probably using Final Cut.
-I would agree with others on the intro. I would shorten it just a bit.
-Good job timing out the words with your pastor's message. That's always a hard thing to get right. One thing you might consider is intentionally lengthening pauses in the clip so that the frame doesn't change immediately after the last word appears. A couple of times the word appeared and then the frame jumped and I wasn't able to read it. You can do this in any video production program, which is one of the reasons these types of videos typically have some kind of ambient music going on the background, so that the pauses don't just sound like empty space. So you might consider some light, non-distracting music.
-One of the big rules of graphic design/videography which I work in is avoid too many fonts. I've done videos like this before and I never use more than two fonts. I typically have one main font that is for 90% of the text and then another one that contrasts to emphasize key words (i.e. "Bible, Christ, Gospel, Love, etc.") There were a couple of points in the sound clip where this could be really effective.
-Effects: They're so much fun, but like fonts, can be a distraction. Also like fonts, I rarely use more than two types of text effects in this type of video, one for 90% of the general text, and perhaps one more to accent or emphasize key words.
-The same rule applies for use of colors. Simplicity is better.
I hope I have not come across hyper-critical. Overall, excellent work, but keep working at it and keep progressing. Don't get discouraged. I pray you can continue to serve in this way.
Thomas