11 Things You Will Never Hear On The PB

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Things we never will hear?

"I used the search function and found this thread on baptism so I didn't need to ask the same question for the 20th time. Wow!" :D
 
1. "Stop getting so wrapped up in all that head knowledge, and just focus on your heart."
2. "What's a dancing banana?"
3. "Of course I handle snakes."
4. "God made us wealthy so we could support the lower two-thirds."
5. "Sure, I know where you can find a Christian bookstore."
6. "I enjoy Zima and Swisher Sweets..."
 
What's wrong with Zima and Swisher sweets? The poor man's good life.:bigsmile:

[Edited on 7-1-2005 by Irishcat922]
 
"Just say that you want the 100 fold blessing when you sow your seed of $1000 and we'll send you free this packet of TULIP seeds."
 
"How to tell if you're backslidden or have entirely lost your salvation."

"I know what the Bible says on the matter, but my fortune cookie told me that...(insert theological error of preference)."
 
Now that we all agree on theonomy and the Christian's role in politics and civil disobedience...
 
"Oh, yes, I remember Dave Hunt writing a good book on this subject..."

"Have you accepted Jesus in your heart to be your personal Lord and Saviour? Pray with me..."

"And he walks with me and he talks with me..."

"When I went down for the altar call this morning..."

"So, bob, how are you with the Lord?"

"John who?"
 
I'm reading all these things. Am I on the PB? Where am I? I'm confused now. All these things I thought I'd never find here, and here they are, all in one thread.

I need to go back to bed and try getting up again. I'm just having a bad day, I think.
 
If you ask me how I know he lives, he lives within my heart.
new_lmaosmiley.gif
 
1) "I love doing my grocery shopping each and every Sunday."

2) "There's no better faith booster than a bumper sticker!"

3) "Alrighty...now where did I put the directions for my spiritual breakthrough? Ah yes, here it is: How to Reverse the Curse for dummies"

4) "I just don't really feel balanced...I know there's a book that can help with that. Ah, here it is, a Puritan Paperback, that will keep the dining table from wobbling! Finally, I can put that book to good use."

5) "Okay, got the lights down low...check! Spotlight...check! A little mood music...check! Neon lights....are those burnt out? Neon lights? There they are *click*...check! That takes care of it, all the necessary elements for church. Wow, God really loves our innovation, doesn't He?"
 
1. "Well if you look at what my Life Application Study Bible says about Romans 9 you will see things quite differently"

2. "N.T. Wright has revolutionized my thinking on Paul"

3. "On the cross, Jesus died for everyone of you, and made it possible for you to be saved."

4. "God did 99%, now you have to do that critical last 1% and pray to ask Jesus into your heart."
 
Did you know Arminius was Reformed too?

I'm not into all these "isms" - I just believe the Bible.

I was thinking we need to modernize our worship service so the gospel will be relevant to this generation.

This weeks youth group meeting is a hang-out-a-thon at the 7-11. Bring money for slurpees.
 
"Who cares about the Westminister Confession?"

"I hate using the cut and paste function."

"Did you figure that out all by yourself?"

"I was thinking the other day that maybe we Americans are a little full of ourselves."

"I'd love to talk about the Regulative Principle ad nauseum, guys, but I have a really hot date tonight."

[Edited on 1-18-05 by pastorway]
 
"Forget Creedalism."

"That's a very generous orthodoxy."

"She was my favorite priest!"

"Smile, Jesus loves you."

"Paul Owen is so intellectual, he really has a sense of Reformed thinking."

"Sunday, we just got our toddler off the bottle and into the grape juice and bread."

"We need more catholicity."

"I just got Gary North's blueprints for dominion."

"Well, I can't make you, God gave you a free will."

"Debating Calvinism was so good!"

"I guess I'll see you at Auburn Avenue Sunday?"

"We aren't under the law, but grace!"

"So I was out shooting some possums the other day, when all of the sudden, I saw a draught horse." (don't ask, I'm weird)

"Stop being such a Pharisee."

"Trinitarian, supralapsarian catholicity is essential to modern evangelism today."

"I just got that Isaiah commentary by Hagee, and...."

"Well, to quote the great Pope Leo X...."

[Edited on 1-8-2005 by ConfederateTheocrat]
 
Originally posted by ConfederateTheocrat
"I guess I'll see you at Auburn Avenue Sunday?"
Click to expand...

Draught Horse and I have said this to each other before. :lol:

He's going to kill me for admitting this, but we were there the Sunday before Christmas...
 
Originally posted by Ex Nihilo
Originally posted by ConfederateTheocrat
"I guess I'll see you at Auburn Avenue Sunday?"
Click to expand...

Draught Horse and I have said this to each other before. :lol:

He's going to kill me for admitting this, but we were there the Sunday before Christmas...
Click to expand...
:p:p:p
 
Originally posted by ConfederateTheocrat
Cat's outta the bag.
Click to expand...

Well, it's not like they preach the Federal Vision every Sunday. In fact, Steve Wilkins hasn't even been preaching the last two times I was there. And they do properly administer the sacrament of the Lord's Supper every Sunday. Besides, where else are we going to go in Monroe, Louisiana?
 
Now that all these things that you will never hear on the PB have been heard on the PB I am a bit suspicious.

It is my opinion that, like a rabbi eating a pork rind when no one is looking, many of you got some perverse pleasure out of sharing these wayward musings. Shame on you! I'll light a candle for you.
 
Originally posted by Ex Nihilo
Originally posted by ConfederateTheocrat
Cat's outta the bag.
Click to expand...

Well, it's not like they preach the Federal Vision every Sunday. In fact, Steve Wilkins hasn't even been preaching the last two times I was there. And they do properly administer the sacrament of the Lord's Supper every Sunday. Besides, where else are we going to go in Monroe, Louisiana?
Click to expand...

*....quietly slips into the shadows.........*
 
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