Chicks that can't cook?!?

[Mushroom]

It is my experience that country gals always know how to cook whilst the city and the suburban girls are more into the malls.

I'm a big city girl and I know how to cook very well!

Yeah, but that's a Texas big city, and that makes all the difference. All my female cousins in Texas know how to cook, and quite a few along with careers. Going home to visit is always a culinary extravaganza.

 

[calgal]

Guys, another thought for you. Statements like "What is THAT (with the ewww face)", "I don't like <insert food although it usually refers to feta or any "exotic" ingredient>" and lastly "You don't cook like mom did" tends to make us less than willing to experiment......

 

[jwithnell]

I have given "The Joy of Cooking" at many bridal showers after hearing the grooms-to-be say: "she can't cook!" I've seen this come about in two ways. Believe it or not, some girls grow up with their mothers cooking up a storm and can't get near the kitchen. Others grow up in families where meals are no big deal and everyone grazes on take out. Neither situation produces a good cook!

Joy is definitely a good starting point since it is a cooking encyclopedia as well as an excellent cookbook. (I got it when I was about 13 and taught myself to cook since my mother wasn't so great at it!)

I'm making sure my boys and girls know how to cook and also how to do basic repairs around the house. My 15-year-old son is quite proud of making pizza from scratch!

 

[MrMerlin777]

I'm waiting for the corresponding "Dudes that can't hunt and gather?!?" thread.

Thanks for the laugh brother, I needed that.

 

[Vonnie Dee]

I resemble that remark!

I must say that I grew up in a home where I did learn how to cook and clean. My working mother was the queen of roasts, crockpots, and pressure cooker meals. I am not really fond of these. While I could duplicate her skills, I don't favor them.

I am also a working mom. We do eat out and prepackaged food more than I would like us to. However, I am capable of putting together a real Sunday dinner or holiday meal. During the week, I like to do the "semi-homemade" thing.

In defense of women that are career oriented. I will share my own confusing "coming of age" story. I grew up in a home where my parents encouraged me to "be all I could be". I joined the Air Force and went to college. I thought I was on the right (parent pleasing) track. When my sons were born, my father asked, "When are you going to quit your job?" I was flabbergasted. What did he mean quit my job when I had goals to accomplish? He said that he meant for me to do all that career stuff only until I became a mom. After that I was supposed to turn it off and devote myself to being a wife and mother. That was hard.

He turned out to be right. I have come to a balance that works for my family and that my DH and I agree on. We did not have the boys in day care. When they went to school, I went with them as an employee of the school. I have been working in school every since.

 

[brianeschen]

Thanks Mrs. Baldwin. She can cook, it is really just a matter of confidence. Her Mom really is a bad influence on her in this way.

My wife had a really hard time cooking as well as low confidence. I have found that a steady stream of encouragement from me and the children has done wonders for her confidence. "Your the best cook in the world," coming from the children goes a long way. "This is delicious!" "Thanks for the good food!" etc. It does take time, but now my wife does not only cook well, she knows it.

 

[Simply_Nikki]

I must say that I grew up in a home where I did learn how to cook and clean. My working mother was the queen of roasts, crockpots, and pressure cooker meals. I am not really fond of these. While I could duplicate her skills, I don't favor them.

I am also a working mom. We do eat out and prepackaged food more than I would like us to. However, I am capable of putting together a real Sunday dinner or holiday meal. During the week, I like to do the "semi-homemade" thing.

In defense of women that are career oriented. I will share my own confusing "coming of age" story. I grew up in a home where my parents encouraged me to "be all I could be". I joined the Air Force and went to college. I thought I was on the right (parent pleasing) track. When my sons were born, my father asked, "When are you going to quit your job?" I was flabbergasted. What did he mean quit my job when I had goals to accomplish? He said that he meant for me to do all that career stuff only until I became a mom. After that I was supposed to turn it off and devote myself to being a wife and mother. That was hard.

He turned out to be right. I have come to a balance that works for my family and that my DH and I agree on. We did not have the boys in day care. When they went to school, I went with them as an employee of the school. I have been working in school every since.

I also grew up in a home where college was not an option it was mandatory, learning a career skill that would, most importantly, "earn me lots of money" were/are my parents wants for me. My mother also was a full time working mother, raising a family in Los Angeles made it almost necessary that both my parents work. I love my mother, and I think despite her working full time (which i sometimes regret) she did a great job raising me. She wanted to make sure that I could take care of myself, working, cooking, cleaning, etc. Her mother was actually an excellent cook, cooked every single day, and my mom would always tell me you learn by watching and helping, so that's what I did.

Neverthless until recent years with my desire to be married, she and other family members always seemed to put marriage and family as a 2nd calling that comes after having a good education a good career and makin good money. They would always tell me I don't have time for boyfriends, that I should focus on school first. I almost felt like getting married and having a family should be treated like an after thought, not with careful planning and preparation. When I realized that I would love to be a stay at home mom (if possible) I was actually afraid of telling my parents because I thought they would think it a waste of my talent and a waste of their money (undergraduate school costs a lot), especially since I was always told that sending me to college was an investment, I didn't want to ruin their hopes on a return.

So please hear me correctly, I'm not knocking women who work, sometimes this is necessary to support the family. I'm attacking the idea that skills like cooking and cleaning and taking care of the household are beneath women and therefore no conscious effort should be taken to actually learn these crafts. You'd be surprised how many women (including Christian women) I knew going to college who's first priority was getting a good job and making good money. Marriage was to them just an after thought, something they weren't really anticipating happening in the near future, therefore they neglected really thinking about the preparation for taking on the roll of mom and wife. I'm sure my experience is not just anecdotal, but is a real problem in the thinking of today's Christian women.

 

[Ex Nihilo]

Neverthless until recent years with my desire to be married, she and other family members always seemed to put marriage and family as a 2nd calling that comes after having a good education a good career and makin good money. They would always tell me I don't have time for boyfriends, that I should focus on school first. I almost felt like getting married and having a family should be treated like an after thought, not with careful planning and preparation. When I realized that I would love to be a stay at home mom (if possible) I was actually afraid of telling my parents because I thought they would think it a waste of my talent and a waste of their money (undergraduate school costs a lot), especially since I was always told that sending me to college was an investment, I didn't want to ruin their hopes on a return.

Nikki, I think this is a very accurate assessment of what goes on even in conservative Christian families. I think maybe some see the alternative as not encouraging their daughters to get an education at all. But there is some middle ground of encouraging girls to develop their talents, including academic talents, in preparation for marriage and motherhood, not as an alternative or better calling.

 

[charliejunfan]

We need a Reformation of the church as a whole!

This problem of women not knowing how to cook is only a result of a much larger problem of the church losing the reformed/covenantal approach to the family. Our churches need a reformation in how we view the family and relationships, Men need to be taught by the church what it is to be a Spiritual/financial leader, women need to be taught the workings of a godly home where she is under her husbands headship(don't stone me lol). For instance lets look at the covenant approach to marriage in terms of headship, the father has headship over his daughter as her protector thus if one wants to court her he should first ask the father, after this the father asks his daughter what she thinks then gets to know the young man and later makes his final decision, this example presuposes many things, first being that the daughter is still in the household under her fathers headship(or mother or whatnot if her father is dead regardless she should be under some form of protection and headship), second that the father actually cares about the daughters well being and godliness, third that the guy wanting to court is a respecter of his headship. ill write more on this subject later im being kicked of the computer lol

 

[Theoretical]

Thanks Mrs. Baldwin. She can cook, it is really just a matter of confidence. Her Mom really is a bad influence on her in this way.

My wife had a really hard time cooking as well as low confidence. I have found that a steady stream of encouragement from me and the children has done wonders for her confidence. "Your the best cook in the world," coming from the children goes a long way. "This is delicious!" "Thanks for the good food!" etc. It does take time, but now my wife does not only cook well, she knows it.

Plus here's the other thing, even the simplest of homemade meals are seriously wonderful things in our rushed world. The personal touch, especially from someone who wants his/her family, friends, and others who will be having the meal to enjoy it makes them memorable.

I'm a serious foodie and enjoy sophisticated meals and delicious restaurants, but some of my best memories and tastiest meals have been from enjoying even simple, basic meals that friends and family have prepared. I'm sure others would agree with me, especially since home cooking is comparatively pretty rare.

 

[Theoretical]

Here's some thoughts I've developed as I've taught myself to cook, building off the skills my dad (who is an extraordinary cook) has taught me. I deliberately wanted to experiment and learn a lot on my own, so many of these ideas come from lots of trial and error. It's mostly a repost from the guy's side "Wife Problems" thread that I think could be good for the PB community as a whole.

A local classical music station has a program called "Theme and Variations", which fits its title musically. I applied the same idea to a lot of my early cooking especially. It helped me feel comfortable experimenting, and may be of some help.

For instance, I love Italian dishes with sausage, bell peppers, and a spicy marinara sauce.

Here's some variations:

• Crumbled or sliced sausage
• Mild or Hot sausage
• Green vs. Red/Yellow/Orange Bell Peppers
• Sauteeing the sausage in white wine or sherry vinegar
• Add cream and vodka for a rich, complex sauce instead of a bold, spicy sauce
• Various other fresh ingredients (don't feel guilty using pre-made sauces, as they can be quite good).
• Serving over pasta or separate
• Lining up bell peppers, sausage, and onions on a skewer and grilling them, with a spicy marinara dipping sauce (haven't tried this yet)
• Stacking thin slices of roasted bell pepper and slices of cooked sausage, putting them in rows, pouring the sauce over it, topping it with mozzarella cheese and sticking it in the oven at 350 until the cheese is browned
• Of course, these ingredients also work for pizzas. Pillsbury's pizza crusts in a can work quite nicely and are easy to use.

Furthermore, some cuisines have crossover skills and techniques, and I've especially found this to be true for Tex-Mex and traditional American Italian cuisine.

Another good idea is to use a pre-made sauce (of whatever type) and modify it, one time with a few extra herbs, another with some wine or vinegar, and maybe some additional vegetables (such as more garlic or some fresh tomatoes). As you get more comfortable knowing how various foods interact, you can try different things.[/QUOTE]

 

[Grymir]

I'm a professional chef, but my wife is the best cook in the whole wide world! Mid-West comfort food galore. Her wet burritos are to die for! She just sprinkles her magic wifey dust into her food and can make Hamburger Helper taste like a gourmet meal.

I do agree that home cooking is a lost art. Sad. I'm alway afraid I'll walk into the grocery store and all you can buy is prepared food. YUCK!

 

[BJClark]

sailorswife;

I didn't really know how to cook meals when I got married (I had always enjoyed baking growing up but had never been taught to actually make a dinner). Most women today are not taught these basic skills in the home. I had to call my mom after I got married to ask her for recipes. That and "Better Home and Garden Cook Book" saved me. I still can't believe how clueless I was or why I didn't make the effort to learn when I was living at home. My son and daughter will definitely be learning these skills as they grow!

you know, when I was growing up, my mom didn't teach us to cook either, she worked outside the home, and our dad was in the Military and gone six months out of the year. My older sister took on the role of cooking when our mom was working late.

That being said, I did take cooking classes at school, and I could read a recipe book, so learning to cook wasn't a problem, just had to make sure I had what the recipe called for. And like yourself, I too called my mom on occasion to get some of her recipes, just as she called her mom or my dad's mom and did the same.

For the most part I haven't stood in the kitchen with my kids teaching them to cook either, and they too have taken cooking classes at school. I do allow them to go in and cook. My oldest daughter loves to experiment with various recipes, in other words she doesn't follow the 'directions', she likes to add different spices and use different types of meat to cook various things. And she's a really good cook.

All of my kids know how to clean the house, and do laundry, including my son, he also took a cooking class at school, as he may not find a wife as soon as he leaves home, and may live on his own for awhile before marriage and will need to know those skills as well, so it's not just women today who need to know these skills...men should know them as well..my son has an awesome example in his stepfather who helps with all of those things..around the home..

How many of you 'roosters', when you were boys stood watching and learning from your dad how to use a grill? Or power tools, hand tools? I learned those skills as child, as well as how to develop film, how to make jewelry, how to work with leather, how to garden, fire a weapon, care for chickens, how to pitch a tent, how to start a camp fire and various other skills some of which I use today, others I don't.

 

[LadyFlynt]

I didn't focus on a career and was a nanny. I still couldn't cook. I had a stepdad that was manly in every way, but STAY OUT OF HIS KITCHEN! When he was TDY (military) then we became subjected to McD's and Tuna Helper...the only thing my mother could make was pumpkin pie. A neighbour friend taught me to boil water, boil potatoes, and how to fry an egg. When I married, I spent many evenings on the phone with my MIL and a cook book on the counter. Shake n Bake was my friend on some nights. Later my BIL married, his wife taught me everything I know about chicken. I learned to bake on my own...love to bake bread. My husband enjoys cooking, but I still do the majority of it. There are some things I'm really good at cooking (my MIL will go off her diet if I whisper the word "lasagna") and other things that I'm still learning. My children have grown up around the stove, learning to cook as age appropriate. I'm determined that none of them (male or female) ever have to struggle with cooking like I did. They actually argue over who gets to cook or help.

 

[BlueEyedU2Fan]

This problem of women not knowing how to cook is only a result of a much larger problem of the church losing the reformed/covenantal approach to the family.

I disagree. I think the problem is the way society has moved away from these things. I'd love to stay at home and work on my skills as a homemaker and caretaker, but it just isn't practical in today's society.

 

[LadyFlynt]

It's impractical not to know how to cook.

Sometimes we have to go with what is impractical in society because it's what best and practical for our homes. (oh, and I'm not against a woman working)

 

[turmeric]

This problem of women not knowing how to cook is only a result of a much larger problem of the church losing the reformed/covenantal approach to the family.

I disagree. I think the problem is the way society has moved away from these things. I'd love to stay at home and work on my skills as a homemaker and caretaker, but it just isn't practical in today's society.

It's a conspiracy by McDonalds and Swanson's Frozen Foods, et al to make us buy fast food and spend money eating out instead of cooking. Learning to roast a chicken is an act of resistance! To the barricades, women!!

 

[Honor]

I don't think that the church has anything to do with it... as I see it it solely depends on the mothers ability to cook... my mother can't cook very well at all... she cooked almost every night when we were growing up but when I got older I found out was GOOD food was and it wasn't confined to restaurants. When my husband and I got together I wanted to cook... so I determined to teach myself. I quickly found out that i had the "magic touch" when our friends would drop by up to 6 times a week right at 6 o'clock....My husbands approach was all ways this... "you try anything you want (as long as there are no onions in it) and IF you mess up we'll order domino's... no harm no fowl." He is a constant form of praise and loves to brag about my cooking....even letting the guys at work taste his leftovers lunch.
I think that the mothers and fathers are the ones responsible for the children if they can and like to cook then they pass on that knowledge and love to their children....

However... I am more shocked at the men that can't cook. How attractive is it to an unmarried young lady to find out her fellow can't even grill cheese? my husband can follow a recipe, and do a mean Hamburger Helper, but I know some guys who can't even do that!!!

 

[calgal]

This problem of women not knowing how to cook is only a result of a much larger problem of the church losing the reformed/covenantal approach to the family.

I disagree. I think the problem is the way society has moved away from these things. I'd love to stay at home and work on my skills as a homemaker and caretaker, but it just isn't practical in today's society.

I found Rachel Ray's "30 minute meals" take a lot longer than she says they do and having 2 working adults (DH and I) at home means first one home makes supper. I would like to prepare food and freeze it but we have one small freezer and a broken freezer that makes that a bit challenging.