How cheerful should we be?

[ColdSilverMoon]

Something that has been on my mind lately is how "cheerful" we should come across to others at work, school, etc. I'm normally a very optimistic person with an upbeat attitude, but there are times when I get grumpy or annoyed (especially when I'm on call at 3 am) and I let that show to others around me, often unintentionally.

My question is should we as Christians always try to put on a happy face and seem cheerful regardless of how we really feel? Or do we allow our true grumpiness, sadness, tiredness, etc show as long as we don't sin? Or is being anything less than positive and cheerful a sin?

 

[CharlieJ]

You need to be extra happy 6 days a week so you can be properly straight-faced on Sunday.

I don't think there is any sense in faking an emotional state. I do think that many times our poorer moments are caused by sin (worry, inappropriate frustration, thanklessness), but Christians suffer, get sick, and get tired. There are ways to show true joy and contentment in God without being "chipper." For some people, that's just a default personality state.

It is wonderful, though, that God gave us emotions and personality ticks to serve as windows into our spiritual state. My wife and I can tell when the other has been neglecting personal devotions, based on how we go through the day.

 

[OPC'n]

I think we are to be content in all circumstances. It's very hard to do that after 3-5 12h night shifts! I uses to be worse at being content than I am now. My patience use to wear very thin and I was always grumpy to others at work when I was tired. However, God started convicting me of this and showed me that it was during these times that I was to still hallow His name. The only way to for me to hallow His name is to reflect who He is by what I say and do and by His grace He helps me. Obviously, I'm not near to perfection but slowly and surely He's changing me. Here's another thing I was doing: I was doing better at work, but then doing worse at home or in my car etc. He again had to remind me that I was hallowing His name not for others but for His glory and if I did it for His glory I would do it no matter where I was or with whom I was or even by myself. When I pray for Him to help me to hallow His name, I'm praying for Him to so change my nature (getting rid of my old one so my new one can grow and over take me) that the only thing that springs forth from me is a reflection of Him. So it's not a matter of putting on a fake smile, but instead refusing to allow my old nature have its way and allowing God's sanctification to shine forth. Stuffing down sin doesn't get rid of it... bringing it out stomping on it and choosing Him does. Hope that all makes sense...just got done doing 3 12hr night shifts and I usually don't make too much sense afterwards!

 

[BobVigneault]

Depends on how your cheerfulness is communicated. Some folks, if they seem to be overly cheerful when circumstances are trying... well, that's just creepy.

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

These should be the attributes and traits that control our countenance. These things should transcend our outward expressions of emotion.

Joy is not 'happy cheerfulness, joy is the assurance that all things are being brought to a good end.

 

[Scott1]

Good question.

Hard to answer because of the subjectiveness of terms like "cheer" and "grump."

God has wired different people differently.

I remember a study series on personality types by Dr. Tim Lahaye (I am aware he is dispensational and has exploited end-time speculation through his books, movies, etc. but regard him as a brother in Christ). Melancholic, phlegmatic, sanguine and choleric and about 12 combinations thereof.

A "melancholic" type, if we accept these descriptions, is not less spiritual because they are not as openly or spontaneously "happy" than a "sanguine." God has wired his creatures many different ways, and even made opposites attract. So, there is nothing inherently sinful at all about being of the basic temperament God has made you to be.

The thing I have come to realize studying God's Word is that God does call us, in sanctification to more like Christ (and less like those individual temperaments). So, as God's grace is applied, through the ordinary means of grace (Word, prayer, sacraments), a melancholic becomes more optimistic maybe... and a sanguine more careful perhaps.

Nothing wrong with that.

Asking God for grace to deal with people you do not want to, doing things you do not want to do is a basic part of the Christian life and one by which God grows us for His Honor and His Glory.

 

[Solus Christus]

While we should definitely strive to find contentment in all things like sjonee pointed out, you have to consider that if you do not feel happy is it the best thing to fake it? This doesn't seem like a very good idea. Of course, that isn't to say that we should then wear our hearts on our sleeves either. There's a balance. I'm reminded of the fact that Christ openly wept with Lazarus' death. He certainly didn't try to put on a "happy face" during this rough time.

Incidentally, this also brings to mind a discussion I had at church recently. My friend asked whether or not we imagine Christ smiling (while he was on Earth). I realized that I tended to picture Jesus being stern faced, always being serious. It's easy to find points in Scripture where he was mad (chasing out the money changers), frustrated (many times, but one place was with Peter, James and John in the garden), and even scared (also in the garden). But he was (and is) human. Which I admit I sometimes forget. So I'm sure there were times in his life where he laughed, and enjoyed the company of his beloveds.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Jesus was not all "smiles and sunshine". He expressed his feelings honestly, but not to the point of grandstanding. I like the way Bob put it: It all depends on how your cheerfulness is communicated.

 

[Contra_Mundum]

I think we should understand that if the world thinks we have the "wrong" attitude, then we are probably right.

When the world is "giddy" (as they are today), Christians are perfectly fine to be grieving. We are grieving for the world, that is celebrating and sinning. When they are uproarious and "living it up," we should be "going to the house of mourning."

Likewise, when they are in despair (as they soon will be), for instance if the whole nation has lost their jobs, their investments, their bank accounts, their health, and all are moping, and angry at anyone who is "ridiculously cheerful at a time like this!" Christians will be noteworthy for their "joy in the Lord," as they refuse to be weighed down by the millstones around the worldlings' neck.

 

[Theognome]

I'm generally a happy, go-lucky and cheerful person in just about any circumstance- the kind of person Bawb finds creepy.

However, no matter how cheery I might be, I never use smilies. So there.

Theognome

 

[py3ak]

A guy at work told me to cheer up and smile. I told him that I could be happy without wanting anybody else to be. That cheered him up.

I have a healthy aversion towards people who impose cheerfulness on you. What a great way that is to make people mad.

 

[MrMerlin777]

Personally,

I think it's more important that people be "genuine" as opposed to cheerful. I've encountered some people that have come accross with all of the sincerity of a stereotypical used car salesman.

If someone is a genuinely cheerful person that is fine, but one should not "put on airs" just to keep up appearances.

 

[Jon Lake]

Personally,

I think it's more important that people be "genuine" as opposed to cheerful. I've encountered some people that have come accross with all of the sincerity of a stereotypical used car salesman.

If someone is a genuinely cheerful person that is fine, but one should not "put on airs" just to keep up appearances.

Donald knocked it out of the park! I am (only grumpy before my morning coffee) in general I am upbeat but not (hopefully) in a bad used car-lot way, it comes to being genuine, how God wired us, we must be true to God and self.