I am a dork

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dnlcnwy

Puritan Board Freshman
I had to be brought back to the basics of Grace this week. I had been doing pretty good, or so I thought. I was treating people of all walks in my life with fairness and compassion when needed. My prayer life was stuttering a bit but in the main was OK. I was attending church regularly, if via zoom due to covid. I had even started observing the sabbath with more rigor at the urging of some friends on the puritan board. Then God brought some people into my life who had considerably more social standing than I did and I began thinking "Wow, wouldn't it be cool to hang out with them?" and fell back into thought patterns and behavior that I had when I was in pursuit of high school royalty status in the mid 80's. I really thought I had beaten this. I didn't do anything overt to humiliate myself, but I was cringing inwardly at my fantasies. I am a 55 year old man with considerable intellectual accomplishments both professional and spiritual and I am doing this. I shouldn't even think that way. Strictly speaking my personal accomplishments are menstrual rags in the sight of God and I should be rejoicing in the rightousness and worth that Christ has imputed to me by faith. To put it bluntly I feel like an adolescent dork and felt the need to unburden among other believers who can reassure me that Christ's provision covers this situation as well. So start reassuring me.
 

Ryan&Amber2013

Puritan Board Junior
Haha! It definitely seems like the Spirit of God is leading you out of that temptation. Remember, so much of life is vanity. Jesus has the best counterculture teachings, that those who want to be first will be last, and the greatest will be the least, being the servant of all. Keep pressing on brother! Have a great day!
 

dnlcnwy

Puritan Board Freshman
Haha! It definitely seems like the Spirit of God is leading you out of that temptation. Remember, so much of life is vanity. Jesus has the best counterculture teachings, that those who want to be first will be last, and the greatest will be the least, being the servant of all. Keep pressing on brother! Have a great day!
Thanks. None of this will matter a year from now, and yet... Jesus said to proclaim the message to all people and I wouldn't mind an opportunity to discuss salvation with anybody. I just don't want to come off as a groupie. These people are surrounded by an entourage already, you know? I don't want an attitude of "I choose to be last" to metastasize into an avoidance of celebrity altogether as a covert way of sending the message "I have my pride, you people do not matter to me." They matter to God just like you and I do and he desperately wants them to hear the salvation message just like he wanted us to hear it. I just don't know how to do this without bumping up against my own idolatrys.
 

moral necessity

Puritan Board Junior
Time is irrelevant to God. Did he not know of your upcoming failure when you were at your best? He did, and he sustained your faith to return from just such an occasion. "Peter, Satan has demanded to sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith would not fail, and after you return, to strengthen your brothers..." God's is always favorable to us in Christ, so return in that confidence, and be at peace.

Satan's one-two punch is to lead us to stumble, and then to despair.
Be on your guard against both.

Blessings!
 

greenbaggins

Administrator
Staff member
Daniel, my advice to you would be to meditate on the teeter-totter that is the fear of man and the fear of God. The two fears form a zero sum game. The fear of man is folly, and the fear of God is the beginning, middle, and end of wisdom. You fear God in wanting to evangelize them. You fear man if you give in to the temptation of the groupie stuff. The underlying issue of your desire for groupie stuff is the fear of man, the desire to want acceptance in a peer group. Fear of God here, of course, is not terror, as I'm sure you already know, but rather awe. Of whom are you in awe?
 

dnlcnwy

Puritan Board Freshman
Daniel, my advice to you would be to meditate on the teeter-totter that is the fear of man and the fear of God. The two fears form a zero sum game. The fear of man is folly, and the fear of God is the beginning, middle, and end of wisdom. You fear God in wanting to evangelize them. You fear man if you give in to the temptation of the groupie stuff. The underlying issue of your desire for groupie stuff is the fear of man, the desire to want acceptance in a peer group. Fear of God here, of course, is not terror, as I'm sure you already know, but rather awe. Of whom are you in awe?
Thanks greenbaggins. I guess one aspect of the situation that none of us has yet addressed is respect for man. I fear God, I was taught that from my youth. But these people have others hanging off of them and trying to present ideas to them as a quick path to their own celebrity almost from birth. How are they to distinguish me from any of the syncophants who try to suck up to them 24/7? That or they get hostility from anti-fans who resent their status. I want to transmit respect to them by leaving them alone unless and until I detect a readiness to hear what I have to say. The trick is detecting when they are ready. I am not a mind reader. And always at the back of my mind is the admonition from James I think not to show favoritism to the priviledged. But on the other hand we are to be all things to all people in hopes that we might save some. Can anyone suggest some verses about how the early church reached out to the Roman elite?
 

lynnie

Puritan Board Graduate

KMK

Administrator
Staff member
I'm just excited to hear the word 'dork' again. It is such an awesome word from the 80s. It is sublime.

It means "a stupid, inept, or foolish person...but in good way." I miss it.

From the Urban Dictionary: A phrase you say when a person you love is doing/ saying something totally stupid, but you love it and them for it.
 

Pergamum

Ordinary Guy (TM)
Life hack: I usually try to make friends with losers so that it makes me feel better about myself.
 

VictorBravo

Administrator
Staff member
Life hack: I usually try to make friends with losers so that it makes me feel better about myself.
Ha, I do almost the same thing. But I claim to do it to make them feel better--then I can feel proud of myself....

I'm a self-important narcissist, too. Only disguised as a dork.
 

dnlcnwy

Puritan Board Freshman
You might enjoy reading this timeless piece by CS Lewis. Not bible verses, but much wisdom. I'm posting 2 links because I don't know which would be easier for you to read, or print out and read later. Probably the second is better. Thank God he gave you the conviction of sin to see it- that is a blessing even if it does not feel like one.


Absolutely dead on commentary and advice. In fact for the sake of other friends of mine outside this circle I an going to post this thread on my facebook page.
 
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