Puritan Board Freshman
I had to be brought back to the basics of Grace this week. I had been doing pretty good, or so I thought. I was treating people of all walks in my life with fairness and compassion when needed. My prayer life was stuttering a bit but in the main was OK. I was attending church regularly, if via zoom due to covid. I had even started observing the sabbath with more rigor at the urging of some friends on the puritan board. Then God brought some people into my life who had considerably more social standing than I did and I began thinking "Wow, wouldn't it be cool to hang out with them?" and fell back into thought patterns and behavior that I had when I was in pursuit of high school royalty status in the mid 80's. I really thought I had beaten this. I didn't do anything overt to humiliate myself, but I was cringing inwardly at my fantasies. I am a 55 year old man with considerable intellectual accomplishments both professional and spiritual and I am doing this. I shouldn't even think that way. Strictly speaking my personal accomplishments are menstrual rags in the sight of God and I should be rejoicing in the rightousness and worth that Christ has imputed to me by faith. To put it bluntly I feel like an adolescent dork and felt the need to unburden among other believers who can reassure me that Christ's provision covers this situation as well. So start reassuring me.