Introducing quiet time Coffee

[RamistThomist]

It's hard to wake up in the morning, but we are required by Evangelical custom to have a quiet time in the morning. Since Evangelicals are so easy to milk for money and votes, I decided to introduce a new item: quiet time coffee!

I hope to make millions. How shall I go about introducing this item?

 

[VirginiaHuguenot]

(HT: Tony Reinke)

 

[turmeric]

You gotta convince 'em that Hudson Taylor drank it, or somebody like that. Make it a mellow Sumatra or something. It should already be ground, and there should be Scripture verses on the bag.

 

[Pilgrim's Progeny]

You should advertise that all proceeds in excess of manufacturing costs will go to missions. Then buy a corporate jet with the proceeds to distribute your millions, in your three-piece suit and diamond rings, while riding in your motorcade. They will be sure to buy it!

 

[py3ak]

You should market it along with a line of coffee mugs, coasters, and all imaginable coffee apparatus.

Maybe you could call it: Scriptural Grounds Coffee. I would also have missionaries pray over the plantations you get your beans from.

 

[ZackF]

It's hard to wake up in the morning, but we are required by Evangelical custom to have a quiet time in the morning. Since Evangelicals are so easy to milk for money and votes, I decided to introduce a new item: quiet time coffee!

I hope to make millions. How shall I go about introducing this item?

I enjoyed Margarita quiet-time after a hard days work. I just concentrate better.

 

[Beth Ellen Nagle]

Call the beans Great Awakenings (cough)

 

[RamistThomist]

Call the beans Great Awakenings (cough)

That's actually real good. Granted, most evangelicals have no idea what the great awakening is, but is still good.

 

[turmeric]

You can have the coasters done by Thomas Kincaid.

 

[Ivan]

Call the beans Great Awakenings (cough)

Granted, most evangelicals have no idea what the great awakening is, but is still good.

Time they learn!

 

[Abd_Yesua_alMasih]

You could use cheap two cent labour from some far off Third World country and say you are giving them jobs - plus it keeps overheads down so you can give to missions. Win-win...

 

[kvanlaan]

Not sure how to go about it exactly, but be sure to include the words "missional" and "community" in the marketing thereof - it's sure to be a hit with the Emergent crowd without putting off the evanjellybellies. Two birds in hand, just like that!

 

[blhowes]

Sounds like a pretty funny thread, but I'm hesitating jumping in. If evangelicals are known for having quiet times and for being associated with missionaries like Hudson Taylor, aren't those good things?

 

[panta dokimazete]

(HT: Tony Reinke)

 

[RamistThomist]

(HT: Tony Reinke)

That would work wtih Reformed people, but not for evangelicals, for two reasons:

90% have no idea who Calvin is.
the 10% that do don't like him.

 

[turmeric]

I'll take some of that Calvin coffee!

 

[Ivan]

(HT: Tony Reinke)

That would work wtih Reformed people, but not for evangelicals, for two reasons:

90% have no idea who Calvin is.
the 10% that do don't like him.

The stats are a bit different in the SBC.

90% have no idea who he is.
10% like him

...at least that's what Lifeway reseachers have found.