Shepherding a Child's Heart - Baby Whipping #2

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They are against anyone that agree with spanking. Granted, I have found that I am more AP on things than most (babywearing, co-sleeping, BFing, CDing, etc)...this is the one issue that I can't completely abandon. There are times for it and times for alternatives.
 
What age do they condone whipping a child? I knew a couple who followed Growing Kids God's Way that whipped their baby who was under a year old. That is crazy. I don't believe babies can distinguish yet. I believe this is just the blind leading the blind in this area. You can't start any discipline until the child is able to start communicating on some level of understanding.
I didn't know Tripp's book also advocated that. Is this true?
 
That was one thing I did not like about the Ezzos. They were stictly authoritarian. They separated any emotional attachment one might have with their child...it was a case of the children must make the parents look good (kinda like in the military). I took major issues with them on their nursing schedule (sorry, MOST newborns NEED to eat more than every 3-4 hrs and NEED to eat at night, especially if they are nursing). And there is ALOT to be said for baby-wearing (which the Ezzos are against also). They have a "their way for ALL babies or it's being done wrong" theory. We had 'friends' that led the class we took...we eventually lost them as friends as we weren't doing things their way.

The Pearls also believe in spanking before 1yr. :um:

[Edited on 1-17-2006 by LadyFlynt]
 
Originally posted by LadyFlynt
That was one thing I did not like about the Ezzos. They were strictly authoritarian. They separated any emotional attachment one might have with their child...it was a case of the children must make the parents look good (kinda like in the military). I took major issues with them on their nursing schedule (sorry, MOST newborns NEED to eat more than every 3-4 hrs and NEED to eat at night, especially if they are nursing). And there is ALOT to be said for baby-wearing (which the Ezzos are against also). They have a "their way for ALL babies or it's being done wrong" theory. We had 'friends' that led the class we took...we eventually lost them as friends as we weren't doing things their way.

The Pearls also believe in spanking before 1yr. :um:

[Edited on 1-17-2006 by LadyFlynt]
Click to expand...


Hi Colleen, just by way of correction, the Ezzo's schedule did not have you nursing every 3-4 hrs. It was every 2 1/2 hrs. It was a 3 hour cycle that was complete after the feeding. And as for sleeping through the night that did, in my case, just start happening naturally with all but one child. That child was the closest one I have to a strong willed child. She eventually slept all night but it took longer with her. She did not want to give up the middle of the night feeding. Middle of the night feeding are more comfort than food. It is a fact that your milk supply is at its lowest in the evening and overnight.

Parents need rest and cannot be getting up all night every night. It is a recipe for disaster if you have a grumpy, worn out parent. Especially when you have successively more children and the older children still aren't sleeping all night and then the infants on top of that. Not to mention if you have a 14 month old trying to sleep with you when you have new infant. There has to be In my humble opinion some order especially in essentials like schedule or you will have chaos.

I firmly believe that directing the schedule and keeping on top of feedings and diaper changings and naps with a baby makes them far less fussy. They don't have to fuss because you are anticipating them. This is just logical. If they have to fuss and they see that gets you moving then you have the baby directing and not vice versa. This will lead to manipulation being learned way too early and will cause issues down the road.

You will spank much less if you are boss right from the start. I never read much else of the Ezzo's published works so I won't defend them on anything except the feeding/changing/nap schedule. I think it is pure genius and when you think about it, very intuitive. I don't remember any spanking before age one. I spanked hands or bottoms when there was clear rebellion whatever the age. I remember the sign language but I never did that and wished I had once I learned my son had ASD (autism spectrum disorder).
 
Traci...

no offense was intended...but I was a nanny for an Ezzo child. I had to write down the times for EVERYTHING, EVERYDAY...plus how many oz's, etc. She wasn't allow more or less than a certain amount. It was drastic. I do believe common sense needs to be in play. 2 1/2- 3 hrs, depending on how you are counting (from beginning to beginning of feeding or from end of one to beginning of another) and they do encourage a stretch to 4hrs a bit prematurely, In my humble opinion. (BTW, my children were nursing every 1 1/2hrs at first and they needed it...regardless of what the Ezzo's say...Drs can back up that some babies do need this and have actually had children with issues when not permitted to eat that often "because the Ezzo's said").

Also, their info on breastfeeding is not totally accurate...it depends on the mother and child. My heaviest milk production was a night. I also know that my children were less fussy than their daughter at night. I also disagree with their view on when to intro solids and wean...in fact their info goes against the code established by the WHO. I ended up quiting that job later because they had an issue with me nursing my son at 1yr.

BTW, I put an end to being exhausted by a method of co-sleeping. Baby down in own crib after last evening feeding. Hubby and I to bed. When baby woke for 2am feeding...baby stayed in bed with me (with all the safety protocols in place on top of which I am a very light sleeper)...then baby also nursed in the early morning without me dragging myself out of bed, instead I could remain in semi-slumber. With this method, I have also NEVER had a problem shifting a child directly to crib only (when middle of the night feedings ended).

[Edited on 1-17-2006 by LadyFlynt]
 
I schedule my child beatings every 3 hours.... because little children need a schedule.


Seriosly though, there is nothing more annoying than other parents who have their own parenting agendas to push on young couples.

We have a 15 month old and we had people swearing by such-and-such method.

They almost argued with the force of a theological debate as to why attachment parenting was not disciplining children enough.

Trying to be polite I heard one couple out a little bit on their own approach but then finally lost my patience and said, "Look, raise your children how you want and we will raise ours like we want..." In disbelief I was not even then left alone, but they launched into a diatribe of how "You shouldn't raise them how you want, you should raise them how God wants...and God wants discipline...."


A newborn sleeps better with mommy, and mommy also sleeps better sometimes with baby next to her breast instead of a room or two away.
A 2 month old cannot reason. A four month old needs nurture, not discipline. A 6 month old is only beginning to see action/consequences.


When it comes to health food, homeschooling and parenting, Christians get way to invested into their own unique views.
 
Excellent, Trevor! :up: What works for one, doesn't always work for another. Even with children within the same family. And of course there is always the pros and cons of any given "technique"...especially when dealing with a parent that goes off the cliff one way or the other (case in point, the family I worked for...btw, I loved this family and had a good relationship with them before my own children were born...I actually was blessed with a christian family to work for!).
 
Check out Paul Manata's blog entry, "I'm A Christian, But I disagree With Jesus Christ!" January 17, 2006

[Edited on 1-18-2006 by puritancovenanter]
 
Originally posted by LadyFlynt
Traci...

no offense was intended...but I was a nanny for an Ezzo child. I had to write down the times for EVERYTHING, EVERYDAY...plus how many oz's, etc. She wasn't allow more or less than a certain amount. It was drastic. I do believe common sense needs to be in play. 2 1/2- 3 hrs, depending on how you are counting (from beginning to beginning of feeding or from end of one to beginning of another) and they do encourage a stretch to 4hrs a bit prematurely, In my humble opinion. (BTW, my children were nursing every 1 1/2hrs at first and they needed it...regardless of what the Ezzo's say...Drs can back up that some babies do need this and have actually had children with issues when not permitted to eat that often "because the Ezzo's said").

Also, their info on breastfeeding is not totally accurate...it depends on the mother and child. My heaviest milk production was a night. I also know that my children were less fussy than their daughter at night. I also disagree with their view on when to intro solids and wean...in fact their info goes against the code established by the WHO. I ended up quiting that job later because they had an issue with me nursing my son at 1yr.

BTW, I put an end to being exhausted by a method of co-sleeping. Baby down in own crib after last evening feeding. Hubby and I to bed. When baby woke for 2am feeding...baby stayed in bed with me (with all the safety protocols in place on top of which I am a very light sleeper)...then baby also nursed in the early morning without me dragging myself out of bed, instead I could remain in semi-slumber. With this method, I have also NEVER had a problem shifting a child directly to crib only (when middle of the night feedings ended).

[Edited on 1-17-2006 by LadyFlynt]
Click to expand...


Oh my, it sounds like that couple was taking it a bit far. As I said, I only like the one aspect of their approach. I basically glean from several different parenting books what I think is well-grounded, sound, useful advice.

I would never push my opinions on anyone but I might give my opinion on a message board when the subject comes up for discussion. :P The pushing of opinions goes both ways. Some people are loosey goosey and some like and even need structure. For me structure is comforting. Chaos can make me lose it. I am a better parent with structure. I am not a strict authoritarian but I do stake out my ground as mom and hold to it.

I am sometimes the one who is too easy sometimes and ends up making mini pizzas so me and my kids can waste a whole day watching mom play Tomb Raider and eating in the living room. :lol:

I was terrified to have the babies in bed with me. I was so exhausted a few times that I did fall asleep nursing in the middle of the night and woke up with a start. Everyone is different. I agree that parenting styles are going to vary and no one should stridently hold to one style for everyone. That would never work.
 
Yes, there are some that should NEVER go to sleep with a baby (my hubby being one of them...the babes were never placed near him or in between us!). In my case, like I said, I was a very light sleeper and would have "checked" on the baby several times throughout the night if they weren't with me...co-sleeping spared my sanity.

I agree...there are those that go overboard both ways. I'm more structured in some areas than many APers, yet also more AP than many authoritarian types...if that makes sense. A friend of mine and I both noticed also, that as we've had more children and our children get older we are a bit more AP (not loosey goosey, though...LOL).
 
Originally posted by Puritanhead
"Let the beatings begin!"
-My dad, twenty years ago
Click to expand...

"Go get the oar Randy", Dad.

maybe that is why I went in the NAVY.:lol:

[Edited on 1-18-2006 by puritancovenanter]
 
"Your problem is I didn't beat you enough!" MIL to BIL right outside of church...overheard by a mennonite family who simply cracked up laughing as it was obvious it was said in jest.
 
Actually, it never worked for my mom... spanking that is... she said when I two to three years old, she took me over the knee and literally laid the smack down... I had trashed my room and refused to clean it up. I do remember doing crazy stuff like writing with crayons on walls.

With each time, was the inquisitive plea for repentance on my part. And every time, I would let out the defiant "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!"

She finally gave up, and even felt bad. Too this day, she says she hopes I have kids as bad as I was. I respond, "How could you wish that on anyway?" She called me Bam-Bam, as in the Flintstone's because I would break everything, and hurl large objects down the stairs.

My mom is probably convinced that it is possible for small children to goto hell after she had me.
 
You know what they say? It is easier to talk to people about their sin than to talk to them about their children. Consequently, you do not even want to hear when I start spanking my children.;)
 
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