This actually appeared on craigslist

[Anton Bruckner]

GOOD STUFF

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST


PostingID: 432279810

ORIGINAL INQUIRY

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

* It's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other
commercial interests.

 

[No Longer A Libertine]

Hopefully a joke but if not I can't act terribly surprised. Gold digging is just a nicer term for prostitution and it is as old as the fall itself.

 

[Southern Presbyterian]

I have no words....

 

[reformedman]

Half way down I felt kind of ill, it was disgusting. Poor child is delusioned.

 

[Anton Bruckner]

Half way down I felt kind of ill, it was disgusting. Poor child is delusioned.

Frank you live in the Tri State area. You should be accustomed to this

 

[PuritanCovenanter]

Don't most women think this way who are outside of Christ?

 

[sotzo]

Don't most women think this way who are outside of Christ?

Not in my experience. Most unbelieving women I know would say that is an atrocious post.

 

[LadyFlynt]

#1 the people she's reaching out to probably do NOT read Craig's List.

#2 she needs a wake up call and priority check

#3 maybe she needs to quit gold digging and start on some self improvement...and I mean REAL self improvement. Go earn the 500K yourself if you want it so bad.

 

[Barnpreacher]

Don't most women think this way who are outside of Christ?

I agree with you, Randy. Nothing really shocks me coming from the mouth (or keyboard) of an unbeliever. God help us as believers to stay humble to the wonders of God's grace saving us from this type of mindset.

 

[Pergamum]

When most people are looking for a mate, of course they are going to look for a pretty and able mate who will make their lives more comfortable. This girl is just honest. I don't see it as particularly more atrocious than any other secular person. HOw do I get abetter life, she is asking and she says a rich young guy as a key to this.

Most cultures at most times in history have not married for love; they have married to elevate their social status or unite families, etc.

If she is honest, a spectacularly beautiful girl who is classy, articulate and can keep a good home and hearth is worth at least 2 million!

She is doing the best she can in the confines of her secular worldview. I hope she can be happy in this life, if not the life to come.

 

[Barnpreacher]

She is doing the best she can in the confines of her secular worldview. I hope she can be happy in this life, if not the life to come.

Question 1. What is thy only comfort in life and death?

Answer: That I with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ; who, with his precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him.

Brother, she can't be happy in this life outside of the Lord Jesus Christ.

 

[Pergamum]

Ah,

..but sinners are often happier in this life than the saints.

Saints are blessed even when miserable and Christians are often even called to suffering, but the wicked grab what fleeting pleasures they can while they can. THus, they are, on the norm, happier often than Christians in this life.

 

[Peter]

She is doing the best she can in the confines of her secular worldview. I hope she can be happy in this life, if not the life to come.

Brother, she can't be happy in this life outside of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I believe this is true.

Ah,

..but sinners are often happier in this life than the saints.

Saints are blessed even when miserable and Christians are often even called to suffering, but the wicked grab what fleeting pleasures they can while they can. THus, they are, on the norm, happier often than Christians in this life.

You said yourself, saints are blessed even when miserable. Saints SHOULD be happy even when suffering. Infact, they are happy even when they don't experience the joy that should accompany it. Money, of all creatures, is most obviously without any inherent value. Wealth is an intermediate good for obtaining other goods. Things necessary for life which itself is necessary for the good life can be bought with money, however, better things such as moral and intellectual virtues and the true good of the soul, God, cannot be. Nonetheless, though not a good in itself, money maybe a thing that is preferable and the process of obtaining it can be an occasion to exercise virtue. Here it looks like the woman is failing.

 

[Timothy William]

How do any of us know this lady is not a believer? She nowhere states this in her message.

I find it difficult to get indignant about what she wrote. There are many women - and I am referring to those in the church, not the world - who would have certain, fairly strict criteria regarding the educational attainment and earning power of the man they are going to marry. Often the are encouraged in this by their Christian parents and even church leaders. They don't normally have such high standards, or make such blunt statements, but any number of Christian ladies effectively say "unless you have a university degree and a full time, permanent job and are earning at least $60,000 (US$50,000) then I'm not interested in marriage." If it is OK for a woman whose beauty, intelligence, education etc. put her in the top 40% of females to insist on a man in the top 40% of income earners, why is it not OK for a woman in the top 0.5% to use a similar criteria?

 

[Pergamum]

Being blessed is an internal state of peace even when the externals are stormy...like the deep of an ocean that is still even when the top is experiencing a storm. Therefore, the saints are often outwardly afflicted even while being internally blessed and "happy"....

Yet, the wicked are often the "happiest" people of all, yet have no internal blessedness.

Many sinners who are heading unknowingly to hell are doing so while not being troubled by it. ON the other hand, there are some awful gloomy and somber saints. (Ah, but none on the PB I bet, right! )

 

[JonathanHunt]

What strikes me about the post is how convinced she is that marriage is based solely on sex appeal.

 

[SRoper]

What strikes me about the post is how convinced she is that marriage is based solely on sex appeal.

To be fair she also mentioned sophistication and keeping house.

I guess I didn't find this post too shocking. It has long been the case that marrying well meant that you married someone who is well off (or who otherwise has high social status). Remember that Lizzie in Pride and Prejudice started having second thoughts about Mr. Darcy when she saw his estate. She just needed to see what that ten thousand pounds a year (about a million USD in today's dollars) looked like.

I have been told by several Christians that I should look for a woman who has at least graduated college. Isn't this standard just a difference in degree?

 

[VirginiaHuguenot]

She just needed to see what that ten thousand pounds a year (about a million USD in today's dollars) looked like.

Scott -- Please pardon this tangential question but do you by any chance have a resource to which I can refer which would convert currencies from past eras into today's American dollars? I'm looking for such a resource for my own research.

 

[turmeric]

At this point I wouldn't consider an uneducated man, simply because I'd run over him. I watched mom do this with dad, and I refuse to do this to a guy. It isn't healthy.

 

[Bandguy]

What is Craig's List?

 

[VictorBravo]

What is Craig's List?

An internet classified advertising site, focuses on various major cities. Sort of like a Thrifty Nickle for the internet.

 

[Timothy William]

At this point I wouldn't consider an uneducated man, simply because I'd run over him. I watched mom do this with dad, and I refuse to do this to a guy. It isn't healthy.

1) what counts as educated (other than the obvious, post count on the Puritan Board. )

2) assuming there are men in the world who are significantly better educated than you are (I don't know you, but this is true for virtually all of us) would you consider it fair and reasonable if one of them rejected you for being insufficiently educated?

 

[Blueridge Believer]

What strikes me about the post is how convinced she is that marriage is based solely on sex appeal.

To be fair she also mentioned sophistication and keeping house.

I guess I didn't find this post too shocking. It has long been the case that marrying well meant that you married someone who is well off (or who otherwise has high social status). Remember that Lizzie in Pride and Prejudice started having second thoughts about Mr. Darcy when she saw his estate. She just needed to see what that ten thousand pounds a year (about a million USD in today's dollars) looked like.

I have been told by several Christians that I should look for a woman who has at least graduated college. Isn't this standard just a difference in degree?

Look for a woman who is full of the Holy Ghost, who is concerned with godliness and holiness. Everything else is secondary.

 

[Barnpreacher]

What strikes me about the post is how convinced she is that marriage is based solely on sex appeal.

To be fair she also mentioned sophistication and keeping house.

I guess I didn't find this post too shocking. It has long been the case that marrying well meant that you married someone who is well off (or who otherwise has high social status). Remember that Lizzie in Pride and Prejudice started having second thoughts about Mr. Darcy when she saw his estate. She just needed to see what that ten thousand pounds a year (about a million USD in today's dollars) looked like.

I have been told by several Christians that I should look for a woman who has at least graduated college. Isn't this standard just a difference in degree?

Look for a woman who is full of the Holy Ghost, who is concerned with godliness and holiness. Everything else is secondary.

Brother Scott,

I don't know what kind of Christians are giving you the advice to look for a woman who has "at least graduated college", but I would take a notion at listening to the wisdom of Blueridge Baptist here if I were you. Proverbs 31 has nothing to say about a college education. That doesn't mean the virtuous woman was not smart, but she was godly first and foremost.

 

[VirginiaHuguenot]

Well said, brother James. The only truly "non-negotiable" as to a future spouse, is whether they be "in the Lord." Then fitness in other areas may be considered.

Here is some counsel from William Gouge, Domestical Duties, which may be of interest:

10. Of equality in estate and conditon betwixt those that are to be married together.

2. Some equality in outward estate and wealth is also befitting the parties that are to be married together, lest the disparity therein [espeically if it be over-great] make the one insult over the other more than is meet: for if a man of great wealth be married to a poor woman, he will think to make her as his maid-servant, and expect that she should carry herself towards him so as beseemeth not a yoke-fellow, and a bedfellow: so as such an one may rather be said to be brought unto bondage, than marriage. And if a rich woman marry a poor man, she will look to be the master, and to rule him: so as the order which God hath established will be clean perverted: and the honour of marriage laid in the dust. For where no order is, there can be no honour.

3. The like may be said of outward condition, that therein also there be some equality: that Princes, nobles, and gentlemen, marry such as are of their own rank: and the meaner sort such as are of their degree. Note what sort of wives Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob married, and it will appear that they had respect to this parity. Disparity in condition as well as in estate, is a means to make men and women swell and insult above that which is meet: yea and to twit one another in the teeth with their former estate and condition.

Contrary on the one side are the practices of such as affect to marry above their own estate and degree: thinking by such marriages to advance themselves. This is the only thing which many seek after in seeking wives and husbands; whereby it cometh to pass that they oft meet with the worst matches, and make their marriage a kind of bondage unto them. Great portions make many women proud, dainty, lavish, idle, and careless; a man were much better, even for help of his outward estate, to marry a prudent, sober, thrifty, careful, diligent wife, though with a small portion, than such an one. A proud back, a dainty tooth, and a lavish hand will soon consume a great portion; but a wise woman buildeth her house (Prov 14:1): and a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband (Prov 12:4). Many wives also that are married to very rich husbands, are more stinted and pinched in their allowance, than such as are married to men of meaner estate. It is not the means which a man hath, but his mind and disposition that maketh him free and bountiful to his wife.

Contrary are the marriages which men of great authority and ability make with mean women, yea their own maids many times, and those of the lowest rank, their kitchen-maids. And which women of noble blood, and great estate, make with their serving-men. Do they not herein betray much baseness of mind, and violence of lusts?

If it be said that such marriages are not simply unlawful, the rule of the civil law giveth a good answer, Always in marriages not only what is lawful, but what is honest and meet, is to be considered.

11. Of equality in piety and religion betwixt those that are to be married together.

4. The parity which is of greatest consequence betwixt parties to be married, is in piety. In which respect it is meet that as a Christian be married to a Christian, so one that in truth feareth God, to one of the same mind and disposition, as it is noted of Zachary and Elizabeth, they were both righteous before God, &c (Luke 1:6). A worthy couple: one worthy of another: being both alike in such excellent qualities, they could not but reap each from other much comfort, and profit every way.

This is one of the most principle points that are comprised under that proviso given by the Holy Ghost in choosing a yoke-fellow, in these words, In the Lord (1 Cor 7:39).

There is no such means to increase love, preserve peace, provoke unto all duty, make helpful one to another in all things, and at all times, as this parity. Hereby shall they be made both able to do more good one to another, and capable to receive more good one from another: especially in the best things, even in those which concern their spiritual edification in this world, and eternal salvation in the world to come. For Christ is the fountain and head of all spiritual life and grace, [it pleased the father that in him should all fulness dwell (Col 1:19): so as it is he that filleth all in all things (Eph 1:23)]. Now Christ communicateth that life and grace which is in him to those that are members of his body: If then I being a member of that mystical body, be linked by that near and inviolable bond of marriage to one of the members of that body, what hope is there of mutual communicating one to another, and mutual partaking one from another of those gifts and graces which either of us receive from Christ our head? If an unbelieving wife may be saved by a believing husband, and an unbelieving husband by a believing wife: much more will one believer be more and more edified by another.

Happy is that family where both the governours thereof husband and wife are mutual members of Christ's body: there will the house be made God's Church, as the house of Aquilla & Priscilla was (Rom 16:5). God's worship will there be maintained. Children will there be trained up in the nurture of the Lord: and servants also taught the fear of God: for they that are indeed of Christ's kingdom, will be as leaven which seasoneth the whole lump (Matt 13:33): instance the procession which Joshua maketh to this purpose (Josh 24:15): and the effect which is noted of the ruler whose son Christ cured, he himself believed and his whole house (John 4:53).

Here by the way, let me exhort parents and other governours of children, both to train up their own children in true piety and fear of God, and also to seek such matches for them, as they may have some assurance that they are of the same faith, and of the same mind and heart: thus shall they procure to their children much happiness in their marriage, as Abraham did to Isaac (Gen 24).

 

[SRoper]

Scott -- Please pardon this tangential question but do you by any chance have a resource to which I can refer which would convert currencies from past eras into today's American dollars? I'm looking for such a resource for my own research.

I used Measuring Worth. I think it is sufficient for internet postings, but I can't attest to its suitability for serious research.

Look for a woman who is full of the Holy Ghost, who is concerned with godliness and holiness. Everything else is secondary.

Brother Scott,

I don't know what kind of Christians are giving you the advice to look for a woman who has "at least graduated college", but I would take a notion at listening to the wisdom of Blueridge Baptist here if I were you. Proverbs 31 has nothing to say about a college education. That doesn't mean the virtuous woman was not smart, but she was godly first and foremost.

Well said, brother James. The only truly "non-negotiable" as to a future spouse, is whether they be "in the Lord." Then fitness in other areas may be considered.

I don't think those who gave me that advice would disagree with anything that has been written here. I think they would say that educational attainment isn't of prime importance but neither is it of no importance. Personally, I would like someone who is well read and curious about the world, but I don't think that a college degree is necessary to secure that. However, because of the relationships of these Christians to me, I can't just dismiss their advice.

 

[Barnpreacher]

I don't think those who gave me that advice would disagree with anything that has been written here. I think they would say that educational attainment isn't of prime importance but neither is it of no importance. Personally, I would like someone who is well read and curious about the world, but I don't think that a college degree is necessary to secure that. However, because of the relationships of these Christians to me, I can't just dismiss their advice.

Scott,

My apologies to you brother. I didn't mean to undermine the importance of these Christian friends to you. It just struck me as odd that they would tell you to look for a woman who has at least graduated college. I'm sure as believers in Christ they wouldn't disagree with what James said either.

 

[VirginiaHuguenot]

Scott -- Please pardon this tangential question but do you by any chance have a resource to which I can refer which would convert currencies from past eras into today's American dollars? I'm looking for such a resource for my own research.

I used Measuring Worth. I think it is sufficient for internet postings, but I can't attest to its suitability for serious research.

Thanks, Scott.

 

[lololong]

Here is what we are training our daughters to think of when it comes to marriage.
1)The man has to be a Christian, member in good standing of a church.
2) He needs to be able to support a family(or on that track anyway) so that the wife can stay home and take care of the house and children.
Those are the first two pre-requisites for our family.
Then if they meet those criteria, they can come and meet with my husband for more details on courtship and expectations.
Hopefully we have many years before any of that but it is never too early to start thinking about it.