11 Things You Will Never Hear On The PB

[BobVigneault]

Yes, this one goes to eleven and please, it's a light hearted list.

11 Things You Will Never Hear On The PB
1. "What would you recommend for a good grape juice?"
2. "For an Illustrated Bible I would suggest ______"
3. "Our pastor is very erudite, she......"
4. "Could you suggest some awesome songs for our parise & worship team"
5. "I picked up a copy of the Institutes at the Christian bookstore the other day."
6. "The Bible doesn't speak specifically about that issue."
7. "The WCF doesn't speak specifically about that issue."
8. "The RWP doesn't speak specifically about that issue."
9. "Let's see if we can arrive at some kind of consensus regarding baptism."
10. "I was greatly inspired by something Rexella shared."

and number
11. "Brother, don't you think you're being a bit extreme!"

Feel free to add to the list but watch out you don't poke somebody in the eye.

 

[fredtgreco]

I'd add something, but the WCF doesn't speak specifically about that issue.

 

[daveb]

Originally posted by maxdetail

5. "I picked up a copy of the Institutes at the Christian bookstore the other day."

What's funny is that I did pick up my copy of the Institutes at a Christian bookstore!

A few other ones you won't hear:

1. "Hey, it might be a good idea to have less Bible and more drama in Sunday Service"
2. "I don't know about you but I'm constantly afraid of being left behind"
3. "My favourite translation is the Message"

 

[blhowes]

Originally posted by maxdetail
Yes, this one goes to eleven and please, it's a light hearted list.

Very good, Bob!

...or how about

1. I enjoy reading Calvin's works almost as much as Rick Warren's

 

[Average Joey]

Okay call me stupid(don`t really) but what is PB?

 

[fredtgreco]

Puritan Board

 

[BobVigneault]

Great stuff guys!
Remember, be careful not to poke anyone's eye out, HOWEVER, stepping on toes is greatly encouraged!

 

[Irishcat922]

Or Peanut Butter!

 

[gwine]

I thought it meant Packers-Bears.

 

[Average Joey]

Originally posted by fredtgreco
Puritan Board

Okay.......Please call me stupid!!!!!!


......and yes my first thought was Peanut Butter.

I may be stupid but I now have 75 posts!!!!

[Edited on 1-7-2005 by Average Joey]

 

[Average Joey]

Another

I was going through My "Extreme Teen Bible" the other day and..

 

[Average Joey]

More

Paul just didn`t like women.
Is it a sin to be with a woman before marriage?
You Calvinists just don`t read your Bibles.

 

[Irishcat922]

"Copeland's teaching last night was really good."

 

[Average Joey]

"TD Jakes....Wow,what a preacher!!!"

"Benny Hinn was so nice.He gave me a free sample of his holy healing oil."

 

[crhoades]

I was reading Charles Finney's Systematic Theology the other day and...

I have no creed but Christ...

Want a testa-mint ("Christian" breath mint)

 

[Average Joey]

"Hal Lindsey is a man who knows Bible Prophecy"

 

[crhoades]

The puritans were just kill joys who burned witches...

 

[Average Joey]

"The Puritans were just legalists"

 

[crhoades]

"snarfulu elwo moto phillalump" in the prayer forum.

 

[Charismatic Calvinist]

OK, my turn! My turn!

1. I tought I lost my salvation this morning. Luckily, I had only misplaced it and found it under my bed.

Eh? Eh?

 

[blhowes]

Can we sing "Kum Ba Ya" one more time?

Now that we agree on baptism, let's talk about a different topic.

 

[Ex Nihilo]

Want a testa-mint ("Christian" breath mint)

How about an Evange-Candy... the complete plan of salvation in one medium-sized, multicolored peppermint...

It's almost as useful for sharing the gospel as the Evange-Cube.

 

[Irishcat922]

Originally posted by Ex Nihilo

Want a testa-mint ("Christian" breath mint)

How about an Evange-Candy... the complete plan of salvation in one medium-sized, multicolored peppermint...

It's almost as useful for sharing the gospel as the Evange-Cube.

Is that any thing like a rubics cube? If it is I'll never figure it out.

 

[BobVigneault]

Two more:

- "I thought Paul Manata had me stumped, but then I received a word of knowledge."

- "I don't know what to tell you, you're just going to have to follow your heart on that one."

 

[Irishcat922]

"God loves you, and has a wonderful plan for your life."

 

[BobVigneault]

Sean said "God loves you, and has a wonderful plan for your life."


Shame on me for not including that in the original list Sean. Good one!

Let's observe a moment of silence for Dr. Bright.... and while your eyes are closed and every head bowed, I'm going to ask you to put up your hand if you've made a decision to ask Jesus into your heart today. Yes, yes, I see that hand. Thank you. I'll pray for you.

[Edited on 7-1-2005 by maxdetail]

 

[4ndr3w]

How about:

- "Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

- "Heretic Hunters!"

 

[Me Died Blue]

Originally posted by Irishcat922
"God loves you, and has a wonderful plan for your life."

Why thank you Sean!

 

[sastark]

"Just believe in yourself."

"I camped in front of the theatre to see the latest 'Left Behind' movie"

 

[ANT]

1.) God won't send me to hell, I'm a good person.

I'm sure we have all heard this a few thousand times.