Difficulty on seeking for a wife

[Edward]

My issue is that I can't find/connect with other people (evangelicals) because my church forbids me to do so (they actually disciplined me because I wanted to go to youth reunions at another church to see if I could make some connections. I actually had some friends there)

I'm not sure if you belong to a very strict church, or to a cult.

 

[SolaScriptura]

I'm not sure if you belong to a very strict church, or to a cult.

 

[Clemson_Gentleman]

Brother Lucas,

I just did a search for software engineer jobs near me (Greenville, SC) and there are many many jobs available. And a good number of solid reformed churches near here too, especially Presbyterian (PCA, OPC, etc).

I met my wife on Match.com and we were both Calvinists, but not fully reformed, but we were eager to learn and loved the Word. Now we are both confessionally reformed. Just sharing this for your encouragement brother.

God bless!

 

[luckasz]

Brother Lucas,

I just did a search for software engineer jobs near me (Greenville, SC) and there are many many jobs available. And a good number of solid reformed churches near here too, especially Presbyterian (PCA, OPC, etc).

I met my wife on Match.com and we were both Calvinists, but not fully reformed, but we were eager to learn and loved the Word. Now we are both confessionally reformed. Just sharing this for your encouragement brother.

God bless!

Brother Derek, thank you for taking your time.

Yes, totally. One of my desires is actually relocate myself to Greenville, SC or Grand Rapids, MI. If it was up to me I'd be moving tomorrow to the US, but the pathways are too hard to get in. The H1B visa is a lottery system with an anual cap (where people from India and China dominate them). Sadly I don't have anyone that can help me to get in through other type of visa application. I'm gonna keep trying through job application though to either US or Canada.

I didn't know about that platform, I should try it. Thanks for that brother!

 

[JTB.SDG]

Hi brothers and sisters. I hope this post finds you well.

This is my first post here, and I'm really looking for multiple counsellors (Proverbs 11:14).

I have in a really struggling situation (I'm going desperate really). I live in a country where 97% are catholics (basically agnostics), and the rest (~200.000 people) are atheists and let's say christians (but more non-denominational evangelicals like Lakewood Church, Elevation, etc).

Currently I'm attending a smal reformed baptist church, but the problem is that we are about 20 people, where the only young girls there are my sister and a cousin. My issue is that I can't find/connect with other people (evangelicals) because my church forbids me to do so (they actually disciplined me because I wanted to go to youth reunions at another church to see if I could make some connections. I actually had some friends there). Then, I tried to connect with other people by social media, but it seems that doesn't work as well.

I've been in this church for about 4 years, and we just don't grow in number. They told me they were always 15-20 people since they started with the ministry (excommunicating ones, welcoming others).

So, I don't what to do. I feel like If I were in the US, Canada or any other protestant majority country the situation would be different, but it's nearly impossible to go there without falling into ilegal actions. Currently I'm looking for job opportunities in Canada since I'm an experienced software engineer, so let's see how that goes.

Maybe if you could help me with more recommendations, ideas, etc? I don't believe in passive prayer though, I think one has to pray, but also do something.

For a church to forbid you or discipline you for involving yourself in a good activity with other Christians that don't go to that church sounds cultish. Sounds like the Pharisees that wouldn't lift a finger to help. I don't know the details of your situation but I would consider finding another church.

 

[luckasz]

For a church to forbid you or discipline you for involving yourself in a good activity with other Christians that don't go to that church sounds cultish. Sounds like the Pharisees that wouldn't lift a finger to help. I don't know the details of your situation but I would consider finding another church.

Yeah, let's see how it goes. It won't be easy since there are not many serious protestant churches around here, but there might be some forming up, I just need to be aware.

Thank you brother.

 

[Ed Walsh]

Currently I'm attending a smal reformed baptist church, but the problem is that we are about 20 people, where the only young girls there are my sister and a cousin. My issue is that I can't find/connect with other people (evangelicals) because my church forbids me to do so (they actually disciplined me because I wanted to go to youth reunions at another church to see if I could make some connections. I actually had some friends there). Then, I tried to connect with other people by social media, but it seems that doesn't work as well.

That seems strange, but try not to do anything rash or disrespect your elders. But look for the Lord to open the door respectfully so your elders can rethink their decision, and you can get on with your search. The history of the patriarchs is filled with the miraculous, serendipitous provision of a wife. Then there is the oft-repeated sorrow and the eventual miraculous opening of the womb. If you don't have the rare gift of singleness, you should find a way to remove the stumbling blocks in your path to your goal. In your way, with God as your leader, together to find the good thing (Prov. 18:22) God has provided. Together, you two could move heaven and earth to reach your goal.

A Warning: Never, never wonder about the secret will of God. His secrets are just that–secrets. We are told to live and interact with God and this world based exclusively on His revealed will. (Deut. 29:29)

Go get her, Lucas, "for God now accepteth thy works." (Eccl. 9:7)

Ed

 

[paranymph]

This isn't a thread on the doctrine of secondary separation, but I think it's worth pointing out that this is a view held among a group of Reformed Baptists. Probably the most well-known proponent is Peter Masters of the Metropolitan Tabernacle. It seems to me this is the view being held by the church in Paraguay. But, of course, we can't talk to the elders and ask why they make the decisions they do.

Secondary Separation | Dr Peter Masters

When to Stand Apart from Biblical Error. Here is a Gospel-preserving and church-protecting duty designed for our blessing.

metropolitantabernacle.org

 

[luckasz]

That seems strange, but try not to do anything rash or disrespect your elders. But look for the Lord to open the door respectfully so your elders can rethink their decision, and you can get on with your search. The history of the patriarchs is filled with the miraculous, serendipitous provision of a wife. Then there is the oft-repeated sorrow and the eventual miraculous opening of the womb. If you don't have the rare gift of singleness, you should find a way to remove the stumbling blocks in your path to your goal. In your way, with God as your leader, together to find the good thing (Prov. 18:22) God has provided. Together, you two could move heaven and earth to reach your goal.

A Warning: Never, never wonder about the secret will of God. His secrets are just that–secrets. We are told to live and interact with God and this world based exclusively on His revealed will. (Deut. 29:29)

Go get her, Lucas, "for God now accepteth thy works." (Eccl. 9:7)

Ed

Thank you so much brother Ed for this wisdom. I'm totally agree with you.

Actually we are going through a discussion about the legitimacy of migration for good purposes (one of them getting married, and that would be my case). As far as I know, they are only open to accept migration in case someone has to take care of thier health (treatment, studies, etc). If someone has other reason, I think they will excomulgate them. But well, I'm going through the study respectfully, trying not to divide the church, and trying my best to not being disrespectful with them. So, your words here are really on point for me at this point.

 

[luckasz]

This isn't a thread on the doctrine of secondary separation, but I think it's worth pointing out that this is a view held among a group of Reformed Baptists. Probably the most well-known proponent is Peter Masters of the Metropolitan Tabernacle. It seems to me this is the view being held by the church in Paraguay. But, of course, we can't talk to the elders and ask why they make the decisions they do.

Secondary Separation | Dr Peter Masters

When to Stand Apart from Biblical Error. Here is a Gospel-preserving and church-protecting duty designed for our blessing.

metropolitantabernacle.org

You're right. They pointed at me to read this back then. I don't know, I'm really not into this doctrine (not Lord's one, but Master's one). I think it has the power to divide more than it's necessary if you don't have the wisdom or maturity to apply this rightfully. They take Paul's word and apply to basically anything. I think often people are willing to apply this doctrine whenever others don't share the same opinion on things that are not essential or cardinal doctrines, and I don't think that's the spirit.

Yeah, I wish we could have more reformed baptist here to kind of share knowledge and discussions, but in the end, reformed baptist are independent, so, what's the point if they are gonna still practice whatever they think is right and apply the secondary separation doctrine to the other side.

 

[LadyCalvinist]

Praying that you get out of your current situation and find a wife.